End of an era (or so to speak)

[ATXRED]

Tonight, my girlfriend called. It was a strange conversation, and I knew something was up. The call was random, not the kind I'm used to. She sounded a bit upset, and a bit out of it. She asked if she could come over. In the year and 5 months we've dated I've never said no to that question...not once. I've been tired, I've been in the worst mood in the world, I've been upset with her, but I've never said no to that question because I've never wanted to miss out on anything.

 

I wish I said no tonight.

 

She came over, and after sitting through the horribly long film "Zodiac", I asked her to go with me to my room. I knew something was up, I knew she had something she wanted to tell me, and I knew it was something I needed to hear. After 10 minutes of her burying her head into my chest I asked her what was wrong, and made her look into my eyes until she told me. She said to me "how can you be so good to me when I've such a horrible girlfriend".

 

After a few moments of collecting my thoughts, of making myself realize where the conversation was going, I told her the truth. She hasn't been a horrible girlfriend, there have been times when she wasn't a great girlfriend, but those times were insignificant when compared to the times she has been an amazing girlfriend. She in turn responded by pointing out that she had been very standoffish since she'd come home and that she hadn't treated me right.

 

I should tell you something significant about my girlfriend before I continue. I've only see her cry twice before tonight. Once three months into our relationship when she took a hit off a bong that she couldn't handle and became very sick. She spent the next half hour in the bathroom throwing up. I was only in there for a few minutes because she kicked me out saying she didn't want me to see her like this, that I shouldn't have to take care of her. She cried for nearly 3 hours until I was finally able to get her mind off of how she was feeling long enough to keep her from feeling like she needed to throw up.

 

The second time I saw her cry was last January. We were on the way back to my place from her going away party (she was leaving the country for Toulouse to study for the semester), and I had stopped at a fast food place to pick up a snack. While I'm waiting to order, I told her I loved her, and she staring crying saying how much she didn't want to go, and that she loved me.

 

She was not sober either of those occasions. She was tonight.

 

We laid down on my bed, and she once again buried her head in my chest. She began to cry, and when she finally look up at me through tear soaked eyes, she said she didn't feel she could continue to be in this relationship.

 

She said she didn't want things to be as serious as they were, that there was still so much she wanted to do in her life, so much she wanted to experience. I wish I would have asked her why she felt should couldn't fulfill that and be in a relationship with me, but that's life. You don't always get to say everything you want.

 

I told her how I felt about her, and I told her that I felt we would still be friends. Told her that she shouldn't ever feel she could go somewhere because I was going to be there, I asked her if she wanted me to say it was mutual so she wouldn't invoke the ire of mutual friends, and I told her to never hesitate to call me if she changed her mind. Not a word of it was bullshit.

 

I asked her if she still loved me. She still loves me, and I think that makes this harder. She said goodbye, and asked me to not walk her to her car like I've don't every night before, and then she drove away.

 

It's 3 in the morning here. I have no one to talk to because all my friends are asleep. I'm lonely as hell, and there's nothing I can do about it. So I figured I'd post this so I don't forget what happened at 2:30am the morning of July 31, 2007. You know what they say... Nothing good ever happens after 2AM.

 

Sorry this is so long, but I can't think of anything I feel like I can leave out.

[theghost]

You did everything right mate, there's nothing to be ashamed of. This type of stuff is extremely difficult but that's what makes friends and family so worthwhile. Pull them close until you get through it. It's like my mother always says: This too shall pass.

[RedinSweden]

Have you tried rebooting?

[Anny Road]

Get out on the lash and shag one and all. Anything with a pulse.

Don't shave for a week and eat rare steak every night.

Then look in the mirror and say GGRRRRRRRR.

That will get the bitch out of your system.

[Duff Man]

Pissing myself at RiS

[Hamma]

You did everything, any man could aspire to do in that situation. You told her how you felt, shared experiences/ observations you made, discussed options and actions to try and resolve the situation ... there was nothing more that you could do.

[ATXRED]

Have you tried rebooting?

 

Thanks RIS, I really needed a laugh right now.

 

And thank you theghost. I'm lucky to have amazing friends and family. I doubt I'll spend a moment alone for the next couple of weeks.

 

I just had to post this because I needed some sort of outlet, and seeing as everyone I'm close to is asleep...well, I couldn't think of a better place than here. Especially after how people were with Chris_Royal's thread recently.

[Elmyn Noos]

You did everything, any man could aspire to do in that situation. You told her how you felt, shared experiences/ observations you made, discussed options and actions to try and resolve the situation ... there was nothing more that you could do.

 

He could have played on her guilt and given her a quick nudge up the pooper for old times sake before she left.

[Stouffer]

Get drunk, get some pie and have a tug.

 

Women, pah.

[Stouffer]

He could have played on her guilt and given her a quick nudge up the pooper for old times sake before she left.

 

Reminds me of a story about my mate John. His girlfriend was due to come back off holliday and he'd decided he would break up with her. He waited until she gave him his 200 cigs, bottle of JD and a welcome home shag before he told her it was over. Worracunt.

[RJ Fan club]

Get drunk, get some pie and have a tug.

 

Women, pah.

 

Stouff you missed,

 

go to lap dancing bar....

[Elmyn Noos]

Also, this open display of public emotion is gay, you gay.As a real man, you should be pretending not to give a fuck, and bottling up any hurt you don't feel.

 

So your bird dumped you? Boo fucking hoo. My goldfish died once. Did I "open up" to all and sundry? No, I flushed it down the bog and bought another. There's a lesson in there for you mate.

[RedinSweden]

Also, this open display of public emotion is gay, you gay.As a real man, you should be pretending not to give a fuck, and bottling up any hurt you don't feel.

 

So your bird dumped you? Boo fucking hoo. My goldfish died once. Did I "open up" to all and sundry? No, I flushed it down the bog and bought another. There's a lesson in there for you mate.

 

Buy a bigger bog? No standard bog will cope with flushing a normal sized woman.

[Stouffer]

Buy a bigger bog? No standard bog will cope with flushing a normal sized woman.

 

 

Ah, the Dennis Nielsen range.

[Victor Ganges]

Also, this open display of public emotion is gay, you gay.As a real man, you should be pretending not to give a fuck, and bottling up any hurt you don't feel.

 

So your bird dumped you? Boo fucking hoo. My goldfish died once. Did I "open up" to all and sundry? No, I flushed it down the bog and bought another. There's a lesson in there for you mate.

Just exactly how intimate were you with this goldfish Noos?

[mattyq]

Can i recommend alcohol and drugs?

They give the head a little breathing space and allow badness to filter through slowly.

After a week or 2 you'll be ready to deal with reality and move on.

Time is indeed a great healer although it doesn't feel like it when you're going through shitstorms like the above.

Godd luck!

[ATXRED]

I completely understand how she could feel the way she feels, she's only 21, and things were pretty serious between the two of us. In the end I feel she's done right by me. She drove up to my home, was flat out honest with me, and berated herself for feeling so confused because of how it affected me.

 

I can't be upset with her, and that will make this harder, but I'd rather it be like that than the easy way out.

 

Unless drinking till I think I breath underwater is the easy way out. In which case I'll be taking the easy way out for the rest of the week.

[Elmyn Noos]

The solution to your immediate pain is obvious.

 

Pop round and fuck the bird you were cheating on her with.

 

You were cheating on her right?

[ATXRED]

You were cheating on her right?

 

Oh, of course, but you don't think she knew do you?

[Elmyn Noos]

Oh, of course, but you don't think she knew do you?

 

Doubtful. Women aren't very clever you see.

[RedKnight]

Opened this thread and I thought I was reading a woman's magazine. Euugh.

[plonky]

Opened this thread and I thought I was reading a woman's magazine. Euugh.

 

I thought it was one of those stories with a punchline

[RedKnight]

I thought it was one of those stories with a punchline

 

It was a let down that's for sure.

[WaltonRed]

Your better off on your own dude, my missus is doing my head right in at the minute.

[Captain]

Must feel like shit having a woman that loves you decide leave you. Hope you feel better soon, mate.