Weird people

[Carvalho Diablo]

Just had a strange and (must be said) an annoying encounter with a Hermes delivery guy.

 

Expecting a parcel today or tomorrow, checked Hermes excellent delivery app and it tells me that they will attempt delivery between 9 and 11am today, so I was up and sat in my front living room with a cup of coffee at around 8:30. At 8:45 I see an unmarked white van pull up over the road, directly opposite my house and I watch the fella get out with a parcel but he goes straight to my next door neighbour's house instead.

 

However, 1 minute later the same guy walks into my palisade, so I go to the front door. When I open the internal vestibule door I see a note being pushed through the letter box so I open the door and he's walking off down the path.

 

"Can I help you? ", I enquire. This fella just ignores me but he looks flustered as he starts to close the gate. "Hello?!", I shout sarcastically.

 

"I did knock.", the lying cunt goes. He didn't fucking knock, I was right there with the front window open.

 

"Er, I'll go and get it for you?", he says sheepishly.

 

"Yeh, you do that."

 

Why the fuck would anyone do that? Weird fucker.

[Elite]

The weirdest people are those cunts that you can have a full blown conversation with and then next time you walk past them they ignore you like you are a complete stranger. Not even a nod, ignorant cunts.

 

I grew up with a lad near me, spent loads of time together as kids, even when older he was part of the social group at the pubs and stuff. He works in bars now but you can order a drink from him and he acts like you're a total stranger (this isn't just with me, it's my other mates and even family members who know him quite well). Strange lad.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Just had a strange and (must be said) an annoying encounter with a Hermes delivery guy.

 

Expecting a parcel today or tomorrow, checked Hermes excellent delivery app and it tells me that they will attempt delivery between 9 and 11am today, so I was up and sat in my front living room with a cup of coffee at around 8:30. At 8:45 I see an unmarked white van pull up over the road, directly opposite my house and I watch the fella get out with a parcel but he goes straight to my next door neighbour's house instead.

 

However, 1 minute later the same guy walks into my palisade, so I go to the front door. When I open the internal vestibule door I see a note being pushed through the letter box so I open the door and he's walking off down the path.

 

"Can I help you? ", I enquire. This fella just ignores me but he looks flustered as he starts to close the gate. "Hello?!", I shout sarcastically.

 

"I did knock.", the lying cunt goes. He didn't fucking knock, I was right there with the front window open.

 

"Er, I'll go and get it for you?", he says sheepishly.

 

"Yeh, you do that."

 

Why the fuck would anyone do that? Weird fucker.

I've experienced that shit, too.

[Elite]

I've experienced that shit, too.

Probably trying to rob shit.

[Carvalho Diablo]

The weirdest people are those cunts that you can have a full blown conversation with and then next time you walk past them they ignore you like you are a complete stranger. Not even a nod, ignorant cunts.

I grew up with a lad near me, spent loads of time together as kids, even when older he was part of the social group at the pubs and stuff. He works in bars now but you can order a drink from him and he acts like you're a total stranger (this isn't just with me, it's my other mates and even family members who know him quite well). Strange lad.

Bingo. You're describing some of the people I've worked with for the past 20 years. See them at dinner time in the shopping centre walking towards you with their eyes down, desperately trying to avoid eye contact. Weird.

 

At the same time, I'll often see customers and I'll always say hello, and they almost always do too.

[Trumo]

Just had a strange and (must be said) an annoying encounter with a Hermes delivery guy.

 

Expecting a parcel today or tomorrow, checked Hermes excellent delivery app and it tells me that they will attempt delivery between 9 and 11am today, so I was up and sat in my front living room with a cup of coffee at around 8:30. At 8:45 I see an unmarked white van pull up over the road, directly opposite my house and I watch the fella get out with a parcel but he goes straight to my next door neighbour's house instead.

 

However, 1 minute later the same guy walks into my palisade, so I go to the front door. When I open the internal vestibule door I see a note being pushed through the letter box so I open the door and he's walking off down the path.

 

"Can I help you? ", I enquire. This fella just ignores me but he looks flustered as he starts to close the gate. "Hello?!", I shout sarcastically.

 

"I did knock.", the lying cunt goes. He didn't fucking knock, I was right there with the front window open.

 

"Er, I'll go and get it for you?", he says sheepishly.

 

"Yeh, you do that."

 

Why the fuck would anyone do that? Weird fucker.

 

He probably knows where Lifey's daps are.

[Section_31]

 

However, 1 minute later the same guy walks into my palisade, so I go to the front door. When I open the internal vestibule door

 

Emily Bronte over here.

[El Rojo]

Emily Bronte over here.

 

Haha! Was going to post similar. He hath verily amused me with the mention of his palisade and vestibule.

[El Rojo]

 

CD looking out at the delivery man.

[Oh Buoy]

Hermes couriers' are an odd bunch.

 

I had one store the number of my misses phone and then text her things such as, "I can deliver this later but I expect a cuddle!"

 

If you're reading this, and you're a Hermes courier, who delivers around L3, I'll give you a cuddle.

[Harry Squatter]

A woman in work is fucking weird. She went to work in Heathrow during the Olympics then one day I was in McDonald's with my son on Queens Drive and she came over and started talking to me about how hard it was working down there under pressure. She said she was glad that she was back up here doing her normal job after a secondment there. This is despite the fact that I had only ever said hello to her in work and never actually had a conversation with her.

 

On the Monday she returned to our office and read a global email that I had sent round saying I was doing a 10k to help a disabled girl go to Euro Disney.

 

This woman walks around my desk about 4 times and then asks me where the person is who is doing the 10k and asks me by name.

 

I then say "Yes that is me, don't you remember speaking to me for about 20 minutes on Saturday in McDonald's and I even mentioned that I was doing it?".

 

Her "no. I haven't been to McDonald's for years". Gave me a tenner and walked off.

[Elite]

Hermes couriers' are an odd bunch.

 

I had one store the number of my misses phone and then text her things such as, "I can deliver this later but I expect a cuddle!"

 

If you're reading this, and you're a Hermes courier, who delivers around L3, I'll give you a cuddle.

I bet he gives her a big package every time you're at work.

[Oh Buoy]

I bet he gives her a big package every time you're at work.

 

He'd be lucky - I work from home most days. I've asked if he wants to come in yet he just seems to run off.

[Bjornebye]

He'd be lucky - I work from home most days. I've asked if he wants to come in yet he just seems to run off.

The gas mask puts him off

[A Red]

The weirdest people are those cunts that you can have a full blown conversation with and then next time you walk past them they ignore you like you are a complete stranger. Not even a nod, ignorant cunts.

 

I grew up with a lad near me, spent loads of time together as kids, even when older he was part of the social group at the pubs and stuff. He works in bars now but you can order a drink from him and he acts like you're a total stranger (this isn't just with me, it's my other mates and even family members who know him quite well). Strange lad.

Shy

[Carvalho Diablo]

 

CD looking out at the delivery man.

That's fucking creaased me up you cunt.

[Trumo]

A woman in work is fucking weird. She went to work in Heathrow during the Olympics then one day I was in McDonald's with my son on Queens Drive and she came over and started talking to me about how hard it was working down there under pressure. She said she was glad that she was back up here doing her normal job after a secondment there. This is despite the fact that I had only ever said hello to her in work and never actually had a conversation with her.

 

On the Monday she returned to our office and read a global email that I had sent round saying I was doing a 10k to help a disabled girl go to Euro Disney.

 

This woman walks around my desk about 4 times and then asks me where the person is who is doing the 10k and asks me by name.

 

I then say "Yes that is me, don't you remember speaking to me for about 20 minutes on Saturday in McDonald's and I even mentioned that I was doing it?".

 

Her "no. I haven't been to McDonald's for years". Gave me a tenner and walked off.

 

She didn't recognise you without the Ronald McDonald outfit.

[Anubis]

Why the fuck would anyone do that? Weird fucker.

Pretty sure I've read somewhere that they have to deliver so many parcels per hour and it's quite a strict schedule. Having wasted going to the wrong house, your neighbour's, he was probably trying to get away to get back on track.

[Anny Road]

My mate is a courier and it is a nightmare apparently. Not at all like Postman Pat on the telly. No time for anything just go go go .

[Strontium]

My mate is a courier and it is a nightmare apparently. Not at all like Postman Pat on the telly. No time for anything just go go go.

Yep, they don't let you take your pet cat with you on delivery jobs. A generation of kids has been lied to.

[Dr Nowt]

Was sat on my sofa a while back, waiting in on a delivery, when I heard footsteps running upto the front door and then something being placed down on the step, in full view of the street. Immediately got an email from Yodel saying my delivery driver received no answer, so had left my parcel in a safe place.

 

We have a side gate, space behind the wheelie bins, etc, not to mention the fact he’d obviously not knocked and his engine was still running. I got up and legged it outside, but he was already pulling away at speed as I called him a cunt. The tragedy is he probably only heard the “Cuuu...” before the rest dissipated.

 

Afterwards, having done a bit of googling and what not, I realised it’s not the fault of the drivers at all. The issue is so endemic it’s blatantly the practices of the companies involved forcing them to cut any corners they can. Must be a depressing as fuck job, we’d most likely all be stuffing the lot in a hedge and putting our foot down too.

[Captain Turdseye]

My local Yodel driver lives two streets away and seemingly saves all my deliveries for precisely 08:02 on a Saturday morning. You definitely know when he knocks as well, can’t fault him for that.

 

One of these days I’ll have my eyes more than half open after he’s BANG BANG BANG BANG banged on the door and I’ll ask him why the fuck I have to be first every time. Drop it in on your way home, you twat.

[Charles Penrose]

I spent weeks muttering at amazon delivery drivers who kept just opening my front door and throwing items in. I was walking down my stairs when one of them opened it on front of me. No knocking or anything. Who the fuck opens someone’s front door for a delivery.

 

I then noticed my missus had been ticking a box saying leave in the front porch, when we don’t actually have a porch. Each one of them seemed to think we had a second door the other side of it despite it being obvious we didn’t.

[Harry Squatter]

Some fella my Mrs worked for got done for false imprisonment in the workplace about 20 years ago. He held my Mrs and her mate hostage in a small office for a few hours by changing the code on the door and refusing to let them go. Apparently my Mrs mate had knocked him back when he asked her out.

 

The police ended up getting called to kick the door down and arrest him. He got sacked and got 12 months in prison. About 5 years later my Mrs sees him working in the Liver buildings and confronts him about it but he pretends that he's never worked in the passport office and never seen her before in his life. He repeatedly denied everything and said he'd phone the police if she kept accusing him of such a thing.

[Bobby Hundreds]

A fella I know told me he found a brick of cocaine in his garden, when he handed it into the police he said they said if no one claims it he can have it back.

 

Of course that happened you fucking dick shaped balloon!