Life's odd truisms...

[Bob]

I don't know if it's just my luck, but I don't think I've ever been to b and q without there being at least one smoking hot girl either working there or prowling the aisles for something.

 

So I've decided that it's just one of life's odd facts that there's permanently a fit girl in b and q.

 

What other weird little truths have you noticed as you go about your equally insignificant lives on this blue marble?

[Babb'sBurstNad]

If a man is of advanced years and wearing a beige gilet, he will almost definitely leave the gents without washing his hands.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Upper class people wear mad colour trousers and socks.

[Trumo]

Getting behind the wheel of a 1990s Nissan Micra makes you forget how to drive.

[lifetime fan]

You can't kid a kidder.

[lifetime fan]

Never fuck out you can't fight.

[RedKnight]

I've never seen a good looking girl working at a B & Q. I refute your assertion, Sir.

[Bob]

The "working at" being "smoking hot" is perhaps a stretch, but comfortably wantable.

 

I stand by my comment over the shopper hotties as written, though.

[General Dryness]

When I go to the supermarket and the missus asks me to get something specific like a certain flavor of ice cream, I can almost guarantee they've run out.

 

How the fuck do you run out of vanilla ice cream? The most basic flavour in the universe. She's a fucking jinx, and I've told her so.

[Elite]

There is always a super fat family at any all you can eat restaurant.

[Remmie]

Everyone knows that the poshness of the retail chain is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the staff. Hark at the comely goddesses of Waitrose and John Lewis and cower in fear and disgust and the monsters working at Poundland or the creature working at Busy bee in Preston.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

The "working at" being "smoking hot" is perhaps a stretch, but comfortably wantable.

 

I stand by my comment over the shopper hotties as written, though.

The more time you spend in B & Q, the more desperate you become to salvage any joy from this life.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Every Wetherspoons has a gay barman

[matt1983]

The Chinese can't whisper

[VladimirIlyich]

A Dutch Oven is not really an oven.

[Kant]

When I go to the supermarket and the missus asks me to get something specific like a certain flavor of ice cream, I can almost guarantee they've run out.

How the fuck do you run out of vanilla ice cream? The most basic flavour in the universe. She's a fucking jinx, and I've told her so.

My missus sends me for specific things that they don't even sell in the shop she's sent me to.

Then gets the hump when I get something else instead.

[Trumo]

Chris Eubank can speak Spanish without lisping.

[ben48]

No matter what time,if I turn the tv over to watch another program, I get adverts.

[Evelyn Tentions]

No matter what time,if I turn the tv over to watch another program, I get adverts.

and by the time you change back they've started showing ads.

Given my advancing years and the length of Australian ad breaks I have trouble remembering what I'm watching these days.

[Ginny]

Upper class people wear mad colour trousers and socks.

So true that. You know you've made it in life when you're wearing a pair of red Ralph Lauren chinos and boat shoes with mad socks on

[sir roger]

No matter what time,if I turn the tv over to watch another program, I get adverts.

 

I have had Cable for 12 years & I don't think I have ever turned over to Sky Sports News and it has not been on an ad break.