Movie and TV dialogue that pisses you off

[Sugar Ape]

Not dialogue but I'm going to put it here anyway.

 

The way people who get shot/stabbed/set on fire/violently beaten always manage to hang on to life just long enough to incriminate the culprit or say goodbye to a loved one.

 

Sean Connery in The Untouchables is one who immediately springs to mind.

[Josef Svejk]

Sean Connery in The Untouchables is one who immediately springs to mind.

 

Oscar-winning performance as a very unconvincing Irishman...

[Stouffer]

My parents were killed in a car accident.

[Champ]

My parents were killed in a car accident.

 

'My parents died when I was very young'

[AngryOfTuebrook]

There's one cliche I love using in real life. Occasionally, you'll meet someone doing the same job that his dad used to do. Invariably, it's a shit job, so I get to say things like

"McPherson, eh? I knew your father. Best goddam transport planner I ever met."

 

 

It amuses me, anyway.

[Stu Monty]

There's one cliche I love using in real life. Occasionally, you'll meet someone doing the same job that his dad used to do. Invariably, it's a shit job, so I get to say things like

"McPherson, eh? I knew your father. Best goddam transport planner I ever met."

 

 

It amuses me, anyway.

 

I'm saving up finding someone who has married into a really shit job to hit them with some Javier Bardem.

 

*Flips coin*

 

"Chaall eet".

[Champ]

A favourite form the soaps....'You'd better come in'

[VladimirIlyich]

 

'My parents died when I was very young'

 

My parents died before I was born.

[Kevin D]

"Did you come here to insult me?". It's everywhere.

[Trumo]

Not dialogue but I'm going to put it here anyway.

 

The way people who get shot/stabbed/set on fire/violently beaten always manage to hang on to life just long enough to incriminate the culprit or say goodbye to a loved one.

 

Sean Connery in The Untouchables is one who immediately springs to mind.

 

You would absolutely HATE Bollywood films mate. Part of the lengthy running time is down to someone taking a lifetime to croak when the reality would be instant death.

[Bjornebye]

i fucking hate the way mo farah narrates in that cunning advert

 

the way he says "including lots of protein" makes me threaten my telly

[VladimirIlyich]

i fucking hate the way mo farah narrates in that cunning advert

 

the way he says "including lots of protein" makes me threaten my telly

Considering he needs loads of Carbs as they give energy and Protein helps build muscle(which he has very little of! not really but he doesnt have mass anyway) that does piss me off too.

[Dr Nowt]

Most of the dialogue raised by Kevin D is the sort of tripe which could have come straight from this:

 

http://youtu.be/O8d8F6kez1c

[Paulie Dangerously]

'with all due respect'

 

They normally go on to say something completely disrespectful

[Boss]

Every chief of police in every cop movie ever "god dammit the DA's up my ass on this one". Or "your on your own with this, it's strictly off the record, if you fail Wachowski (insert cop surname) it's your badge" usually said as our renegade protagonist is walking out the door of his office for effect.

 

Also THAT guy at the crime scene, that's only there to stick his finger or a large knife in the bag of coke and say "yeah it's coke".

 

The one that really baffles me is the "Stop! Police! I need to commandeer this vehicle" usually followed by some confused woman getting out of her car immediately. The chase continues, yet the car is completely destroyed in the process. Never a mention of the woman being reimbursed for making her car a complete write off.

[Kevin D]

Every chief of police in every cop movie ever "god dammit the DA's up my ass on this one". Or "your on your own with this, it's strictly off the record, if you fail Wachowski (insert cop surname) it's your badge" usually said as our renegade protagonist is walking out the door of his office for effect.

 

Also THAT guy at the crime scene, that's only there to stick his finger or a large knife in the bag of coke and say "yeah it's coke".

 

The one that really baffles me is the "Stop! Police! I need to commandeer this vehicle" usually followed by some confused woman getting out of her car immediately. The chase continues, yet the car is completely destroyed in the process. Never a mention of the woman being reimbursed for making her car a complete write off.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/216daf534a/mcbain-the-full-movie

[Trumo]

When Person A has something important/troubling that they need to tell Person B, Person B will always get distracted somehow or change the subject to something more cheerful once the conversation starts. After a while, Person B will remember that Person A wanted to tell them something so they'll ask, only to be met with a reply that it was nothing important/urgent/relevant. Soon afterwards, there will be some sort of calamity or mishap that could have been avoided had Person A actually said what they wanted to say.

[Dr Nowt]

Hatchet-faced bird: I need to talk to ya.
Wet young lad: Me too.
HFB: The fing is, Jack...
WYL: Hang on Chelsea, let me go first. I've just got to get this out. Please.
HFB: OK.
WYL: Fing is, I love ya Chels. Always have, always will. Couldn't live wivout ya. Wouldn't be worf it. Since me family died, you're all I got.
HFB: * Pulls constipated expression *
WYL: We'll be alright, won't we? As long as we got each ovva. Nah, what did you wanna say?
HFB: Nuffink. We can talk about it some ovva time.
WYL: One last fing vo', no more secrets. Promise?
HFB: * Weakly * No more secrets.

[razor]

"Yes, that's what I'm talking about, baby."

[Hades]

"I'm not in this to make friends."

"If you could not do that, that'd be great."

"Really?"

 

[Bobby Hundreds]

I don't like dialogue with no real reaction. That show with lee Mack and Tim vine they say a lot of one liners often funny but no one laughs or reacts in a real way because of that I fucking hate it. I always liked Ronnie barker or only fools and horses where people reacted and laughed at a funny retort. I hate the dialogue in newsroom because of it what they are actually saying in isolation is often interesting but there's no human edge to it, its robotic and fast, people have very quick often deep and profound for the moment mini speeches.. No pausing for breath or a seconds hesitation whilst their thought process thinks out the rest of their dialogue. I at least want the illusion the dialogue is not written and rehearsed. Its more to do with direction than dialogue I suppose.

[littletedwest]

You got balls, I'll give you that.This is popping up with alarming regularity.

the tony soprano retort to phil leotardo on thos was "you'll give me what I fucking tell you to give me"

[Harry Squatter]

When Person A has something important/troubling that they need to tell Person B, Person B will always get distracted somehow or change the subject to something more cheerful once the conversation starts. After a while, Person B will remember that Person A wanted to tell them something so they'll ask, only to be met with a reply that it was nothing important/urgent/relevant. Soon afterwards, there will be some sort of calamity or mishap that could have been avoided had Person A actually said what they wanted to say.

Normally happens in soaps where someone is dying of cancer or has six months to live, person who has found out is hysterical and panicky yet the person who has the disease just completely changes the subject and says "I need to clean the loft out sometime" or "I reckon we should change the wallpaper in this room, we've had bit for ages" then walks off while the other person is left on a knife edge thinking how long their mum/brother/wife will have left or when they will start treatment.

[Kevin D]

"Blow your/his brains out" instead of "shoot you/him". I just can't imagine law enforcement officials saying the former, it sounds like something completely made up.

[Section_31]

So...you in?

 

I'm in.