Have a rant thread

[lifetime fan]

Adele - fuck off you ugly cunt.

 

Talentless fat fucking moose with a horrible Essex twang. All she can do is sing about being dumped. Lose some fucking weight and try not to be such a horrible tory cunt and you might not constantly get dumped you stupid prick.

 

Cunt.

 

I hate her.

[General Dryness]

Bet you'd still knob her.

[lifetime fan]

Haha - not even with yours.

 

She doesn't even have fat tits. That's the only advantage of a fat cunt, she doesn't even have that.

[General Dryness]

Bet she gives a cracking chinwank though.

[Paulie Dangerously]

My manager sits opposite from me eats like a pig.

 

Every day at 1.30 he cracks his lunch out and makes ludicrously loud chomping, slurping and chewing noises. I've mentally rated his worst foods for it.

 

5 lettuce on his sandwich

4 any crusty bread

3 crisps

2 scotch egg

1 Apple

 

Honestly I've heard horses eat apples quieter than this man. He's a fucking pig.

 

UPDATE

 

Someone has given him a plum 

 

WHO GAVE HIM A PLUM?!?!

[Mook]

Some woman was e-mailing me at work today and we were having a problem with something we were doing for her (partly my fault), anyway i was doing everything i could to sort it out but kept getting e-mails every 10 minutes worded like this:-

 

'What is causing the delay?

 

Why can't this be done IMMEDIATELY?

 

Why can't this be done NOW?'

 

I don't really understand how she thought this was going to help but me batting them off all day certainly didn't help my cause. Do some people not stop to think 'Am i being a cunt here?' before they press send?

 

Fucking jumped up twats.

 

I ended up sorting it for the horrible cow as well.

 

 

[General Dryness]

Do some people not stop to think 'Am i being a cunt here?'

 

If more people followed that thought process, the world would be a better place.

[Remmie]

Do some people not stop to think 'Am i being a cunt here?'

 

If more people followed that thought process, the world would be a better place.

But not this forum. Long live the general forum and it's shower of cunts

[Carvalho Diablo]

But not this forum. Long live the general forum and it's shower of cunts

 

Cheeky cunt.

[General Dryness]

Long may it remain a Fortress of Righteous Cuntery.

[Trumo]

UPDATE

 

Someone has given him a plum 

 

WHO GAVE HIM A PLUM?!?!

 

Have you checked to see if Motormouth Jones is lurking in your office somewhere?

[stringvest]

Some woman was e-mailing me at work today and we were having a problem with something we were doing for her (partly my fault), anyway i was doing everything i could to sort it out but kept getting e-mails every 10 minutes worded like this:-

 

'What is causing the delay?

 

Why can't this be done IMMEDIATELY?

 

Why can't this be done NOW?'

 

I don't really understand how she thought this was going to help but me batting them off all day certainly didn't help my cause. Do some people not stop to think 'Am i being a cunt here?' before they press send?

 

Fucking jumped up twats.

 

I ended up sorting it for the horrible cow as well.

 

wimp.

 

Seriously, I can't let that sort of behaviour go unchallenged.  I had precisely that in my last job from a director of the company.  I responded asking what  he was trying to achieve by sending these messages.  He didn't apologise, but it did nip it in the bud.  

[Sputnik1]

Amazon, the bunch of idiots. Ordered something on Sunday and as I knew I'd be busy all day Monday, I decided to have the parcel delivered to a 'pass my parcel' Amazon selected local location. It just so happened there was also a nice little promo, one each per customer of a free £5 amazon gift card for using 'pass my parcel' so win win.

 

Ah that's until you factor in it's Amazon. Not only has the parcel not arrived but it's now marked as 'carrier unable to locate customer's address'

 

That would be the Amazon selected 'pass my parcel' location then? Fucking idiots, how can they not be able to locate a place they chose. 

 

A call to them revealed it's now lost, so stolen probably en route. I currently have no other choice than to have another delivery, to the same location (because I'm out again tomorrow and Amazon logistics are (insert whatever politically correct word for mentally incapable is allowed today) so hopefully the carrier can somehow locate this mysterious hidden shop that I assume they deliver hundreds of Amazon parcels to each week.

 

How can they be so fucking dumb, (the carrier) I mean their one fucking job is to deliver parcels. The required skill being able to locate fucking addresses. The other minor skills being able to park a van, walk towards an address, ring a bell and hold out a 1980's calculator with a stylus on a string towards you. You would imagine just being able to arrive at work would immediately filter out the proper idiots with absolutely no ability to follow directions. 

 

They make Yodel look good, yeah I know!

[Bjornebye]

Their staff steal the stuff

[Jairzinho]

They have to, they get paid fuck all and work 16 hours a day in a giant chicken coop.

[Stu Monty]

Amazon, the bunch of idiots. Ordered something on Sunday and as I knew I'd be busy all day Monday, I decided to have the parcel delivered to a 'pass my parcel' Amazon selected local location. It just so happened there was also a nice little promo, one each per customer of a free £5 amazon gift card for using 'pass my parcel' so win win.

 

Ah that's until you factor in it's Amazon. Not only has the parcel not arrived but it's now marked as 'carrier unable to locate customer's address'

 

That would be the Amazon selected 'pass my parcel' location then? Fucking idiots, how can they not be able to locate a place they chose.

 

A call to them revealed it's now lost, so stolen probably en route. I currently have no other choice than to have another delivery, to the same location (because I'm out again tomorrow and Amazon logistics are (insert whatever politically correct word for mentally incapable is allowed today) so hopefully the carrier can somehow locate this mysterious hidden shop that I assume they deliver hundreds of Amazon parcels to each week.

 

How can they be so fucking dumb, (the carrier) I mean their one fucking job is to deliver parcels. The required skill being able to locate fucking addresses. The other minor skills being able to park a van, walk towards an address, ring a bell and hold out a 1980's calculator with a stylus on a string towards you. You would imagine just being able to arrive at work would immediately filter out the proper idiots with absolutely no ability to follow directions.

 

They make Yodel look good, yeah I know!

Don't use Amazon. All kinds of cuntery with that lot.

 

As much as possible buy local for a bit more.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Don't use Amazon. All kinds of cuntery with that lot.

 

As much as possible buy local for a bit more.

 

[VladimirIlyich]

Don't use Amazon. All kinds of cuntery with that lot.

 

As much as possible buy local for a bit more.

Any other retailers you can suggest Stu?

[Stu Monty]

Any other retailers you can suggest Stu?

It's almost impossible for stuff like CDs and DVDs but I try to use places that have a physical outlet on the high street.

 

The tax avoidance was obvious but when you saw the way the staff have to work you can't justify buying cheaper from Amazon.

[Jairzinho]

You can at least avoid the likes of Zoverstocks and Estocks on Amazon and Ebay. They're the cunt companies working for cunt companies.

[manwiththestick]

I'll used zoverstocks and the likes to broaden my vast cd collection. I still sleep sound at night.

[Jairzinho]

You're a terrible human.

[Stouffer]

Fucking noisy trainspotting bellends shouting and getting on and off the train slamming doors in the process; at five in the morning.

 

Massive cameras and tripods an' all; grow the fuck up dickheads. They're even reading train magazines; ON THE TRAIN. I'm all for people having a hobby but having a train-off at this time of the day is mental; they've been here since half four too.

 

Subhuman annoying shithouses.

[Teflon Don]

Still can't believe what I saw in The Lady Of Mann earlier tonight. A bunch of twats came in and started doing a highland reel, accompanied by bagpipes, for around five minutes and I end up getting told off for eventually taking exception to it and shouting at them to "fuck off out of the pub, you stupid cunts" after they almost cleaned out the table we were sat at during the evening's televised sporting event.

 

Hopefully the daft bastards tried it somewhere else in town later on and got the good kicking they were so richly deserving of (and asking for).

[redinblack62]

Still can't believe what I saw in The Lady Of Mann earlier tonight. A bunch of twats came in and started doing a highland reel, accompanied by bagpipes, for around five minutes and I end up getting told off for eventually taking exception to it and shouting at them to "fuck off out of the pub, you stupid cunts" after they almost cleaned out the table we were sat at during the evening's televised sporting event.

 

Hopefully the daft bastards tried it somewhere else in town later on and got the good kicking they were so richly deserving of (and asking for).

Theres nothing worse than "eh look, we're wacky we are...."