Have a rant thread

[General Dryness]

So I'm at work and it's a fairly large organisation one of the other Project managers just asked me if I knew anything about some costs that had been assigned to the wrong project in our monthly billing file as we have similar sounding projects.

 

Turns out they are mine and the supplier just used the wrong code, easy enough so he said he would change the name in the file to mine and I could then approve them. He got the first name right but he mustn't have known my surname as he just assigned it under Mr Patel. Wtf??? Not even close.

 

I bet his thought process was "fuck it what's an Indian surname? Patel? Yeah he must be one of them"

 

I'm just surprised he didn't prefix it with Dr.

 

Put me in mind of this Brent classic.

 

[VladimirIlyich]

So I'm at work and it's a fairly large organisation one of the other Project managers just asked me if I knew anything about some costs that had been assigned to the wrong project in our monthly billing file as we have similar sounding projects.

 

Turns out they are mine and the supplier just used the wrong code, easy enough so he said he would change the name in the file to mine and I could then approve them. He got the first name right but he mustn't have known my surname as he just assigned it under Mr Patel. Wtf??? Not even close.

 

I bet his thought process was "fuck it what's an Indian surname? Patel? Yeah he must be one of them"

 

I'm just surprised he didn't prefix it with Dr.

Goodness gracious me.

[A_S]

Cian Twomey, you are a very unfunny cunt. And fuck all the people who like/comment on his unfunny fucking videos. 

 

Facebook does not know. 

[Total Longo]

Who the hell is this Twomey jabroni? my mate keeps going on about how irritating he is, i've never even heard of him or seen him appear on my facebook feed.

[A_S]

Who the hell is this Twomey jabroni? my mate keeps going on about how irritating he is, i've never even heard of him or seen him appear on my facebook feed.

Lucky bastard. And your mate is right, he's fucking irritating. Yet so many cunts think he's all that.

[Bjornebye]

Bad hygeine. Unacceptable. Lad near me in work fucking reeks today. Mentioned it to the bird opposite and she said he always stinks but today it is really bad. Im going to spray the cunt with toilet duck. Fucking southern cunt.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Bad hygeine. Unacceptable. Lad near me in work fucking reeks today. Mentioned it to the bird opposite and she said he always stinks but today it is really bad. Im going to spray the cunt with toilet duck. Fucking southern cunt.

 

Used to be a fella in our work who's feet (and rest of him like, but especially his feet) reeked.  You could smell it through his shoes and he was nicknamed "smelly-web"

 

After being pulled by a manager over his general aura of rancidity his response was a remarkable "Yeah...I'm just lazy"

 

Hanging's too good for 'em. 

[Paulie Dangerously]

So I'm at work and it's a fairly large organisation one of the other Project managers just asked me if I knew anything about some costs that had been assigned to the wrong project in our monthly billing file as we have similar sounding projects.

 

Turns out they are mine and the supplier just used the wrong code, easy enough so he said he would change the name in the file to mine and I could then approve them. He got the first name right but he mustn't have known my surname as he just assigned it under Mr Patel. Wtf??? Not even close.

 

I bet his thought process was "fuck it what's an Indian surname? Patel? Yeah he must be one of them"

 

I'm just surprised he didn't prefix it with Dr.

 

Singhs can only get better after that mate. 

[Em City]

Bad hygeine. Unacceptable. Lad near me in work fucking reeks today. Mentioned it to the bird opposite and she said he always stinks but today it is really bad. Im going to spray the cunt with toilet duck. Fucking southern cunt.

 

 

I was in college with a mature student who wore the same white and blue jacket, which had long turned to grey and blue, and simultaneously stank of sweat, coffee, cigarettes and general grime. He used to cycle to and from college everyday in the same clothes, all 6 miles of it with no mudguard or anything.

 

The fucker used to have his own radius in lectures he was that bad, you could smell him from five rows up.

 

Mind you, it was amusing observing other people enduring his odour and trying to cover their nose whilst writing notes in a packed lecture theatre where there was nowhere else to go.

[Harry Squatter]

Used to work in a sales company and one of the suppliers reps was a scruffy smelly twat who wore the same suit every day for 8 months. We called him Bill Oddie (BO).

 

He would drive up and down the country and had no air conditioning in his twatted up car and sweated like the fella out of Midnight Express. The shirt he wore had a yellowed to green stain round the neck and cuffs, his breath could melt human flesh and if he turned round there would be more white flakes than a snow globe.

[dickie mint]

Fella we worked with years ago we called him Smellator he smelt like a shithouse rat,breath on him could knock a fly off a bucket of shite.

[VladimirIlyich]

Used to be a fella in our work who's feet (and rest of him like, but especially his feet) reeked. You could smell it through his shoes and he was nicknamed "smelly-web"

 

After being pulled by a manager over his general aura of rancidity his response was a remarkable "Yeah...I'm just lazy"

 

Hanging's too good for 'em.

Talcum Powder in his socks is an easy way to tone down the smell,at least.

[Stouffer]

Fucking Christmas adverts have started already; the cunting clocks haven't even gone back yet.

 

Absolute bastards.

[Total Longo]

Bird in work announced her pregnancy a month ago and within a week had gone off sick. Came back in today whining about blood pressure and got off again after an hour.

It's a license to take the piss, frankly.


 

[RedKnight]

It is but only by people who would take the piss anyway.

[Liverpool lad]

It is but only by people who would take the piss anyway.

Spot on

 

[Robbo29]

Fucking Christmas adverts have started already; the cunting clocks haven't even gone back yet.

Absolute bastards

 

 

Went past the holiday inn opposite lime st last week, seen they had the christmas tree up

[Paulie Dangerously]

"My Mum was at that hotel in Tunisia 2 years ago"

"Oh my god was she?"

"Yeah"

 

What has this got at all to do with what happened last week?

 

"I only walked past the bombed-out church the other day as well"

"Oh god, hun, are you ok?"

"Yeah, think so...just shows how lucky we are doesn't it?"

"Yeah, especially as I walked through an area where people died of the black death in town as well"

"Oh god hun"

 

Shut up. 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34524986

 

 

Georgia Williams' killer had photos of me

7 hours ago

A teenager hanged by a man obsessed with asphyxiating girls was failed by police and social services assigned to her killer after an earlier attack, a serious case review has found.

Jamie Reynolds tried to strangle a girl in 2008 and went on to hang 17-year-old Georgia Williams in Telford in 2013.

His stepfather had told the Justice Liaison Service that he had photos of girls he knew with nooses drawn around their necks.

Jadine Dunning knew Georgia and was one of the women Reynolds had images of.

She told BBC Breakfast that she felt the police had put her life in danger by not making her aware of the images and that Georgia would still be alive had the information been shared.

 

 

 

 

Way to make a girl's death about you.  

[Champ]

Bird in work announced her pregnancy a month ago and within a week had gone off sick. Came back in today whining about blood pressure and got off again after an hour.

 

It's a license to take the piss, frankly.

 

 

 

If you were a piss taker to begin with.

 

Edit *try reading to the end of the thread, Champ*

[Mook]

Fucking cyclists, was minding my own business walking home and this cyclist comes from nowhere and parks his bike on the pavement so I couldn't get by him, I took my headphones out and he goes, "You need to watch where you're going.", he obviously thought I looked like a fanny because he shat himself when I told him to get to fuck, then he goes, "Maybe next time I'll knock you over.", at this point I completely lost the plot (I'm in a stinking mood with my current deafness), it's the closest I've been to lamping someone for a good few years. I can't even remember what I said because I was so angry, next thing I know he's fucked off down the road.

 

I must've walked out in front of him but normally I'm pretty careful and it's not like you can hear a bike coming anyway. Imagine sticking your bike in someone's way like that. Fucking twat will think twice next time he has a go at some innocent pedestrian anyway.

[Mook]

Clearly not all cyclists are twats like this, he just really fucking annoyed me.

[Liverpool lad]

People who announce that they are closing down their Facebook account or "taking a break" from it. If it pisses you off just delete your account without doing an Internet press conference or just don't go on it for a few weeks. Again it's just a load of "u ok Hun?" Baiting

 

I need to get in touch with some blert I used to work with and his Facebook had disappeared.  Ended up texting a lad I knew for his number.  When I asked what happened to his Facebook, as I was worried that he might have passed away, I was informed he was taking a break from Facebook. Its a fucking website for fucks sake.

 

I think the site is shite for the most part, and I use it to keep in touch with friends, but to need to take a break from it makes you sound like a right dipshit

 

Clearly not all cyclists are twats like this, he just really fucking annoyed me.

 

Be wary mate, they will spend a small fortune on helmet cams and go antagonising people until they get lamped in the head and can upload the footage on social media. He nearly had you there

[Champ]

There is something of the red rag to a bull with these helmet cam thingies, is there not? And that comes from a committed cyclist.

 

Some people don't help themselves, though, do they

[Section_31]

To be fair the word helmet and cyclists do tend to go hand in hand.

[Mook]

I didn't even think about that, I'll remember that and if anything similar happens in the future I'll keep my headphones in and ignore the cyclist. Sometimes if you're crossing a busy road they come flying out from nowhere, making zero noise.

 

Personally I think cycling about in a city centre is fucking madness.