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*Shakes head* Everton again.


Fugitive

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I don't think we will ever be everyones 2nd club....fans of other clubs mostly absolutely fucking hate us.

 

I for one don't give a fuck that they do, but they do.

I've found a real change this season, which I think started how we performed the year before. While bitter fans of bellend clubs will never change, I think non bitter and fans who just enjoy football are all loving us.
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They couldn't go on Bullseye.

Jim: and up come our next contestant, tell us about yourself.

Contestant: my names Derek but everyone calls me Dixie and I'm a taxi driver from County Road.

Jim: County Road, where is that.

C: Merseyside Jim.

J: Oh Liverpool?

C:(through gritting teeth) yes.

J: And who have you brought with you?

C: my son Leighton Seamus and my best mate Dave, we all go the game.

J: Oh what game is that?

C: (rolls up sleeve on Lonsdale polo shirt to reveal tattoo) the mighty Everton Jim!

J: and how was your last game?

C: we got robbed didn't we? Last minute penalty Jim, ref had it in for us.

J: and the lovely wife? Couldn't make it today?

C: no Jim, unfortunately she had a little accident last Saturday teatime and is recuperating at her sisters.

J: arr, well we wish her well, over to you Tony.

T: right Dixie, you know the rules, stay out of the black and stay in the red you get nowt in this game for two in a bed.

C: you wot mate?

T: I said stay out of the black..

C: Yeh I heard that bit, the bit after it

T: stay in the red?

C: Yeh fuck that, can't we do the opposite, I aim for black?

T: no sorry, rules are rules.

C: conspiracy this, you think I'm choosing to aim for red to win prizes, fuck that, my name will be mud in the Brick and Leighton will get stick in school. Come on son let's go I'm not staying here another second with these redshite supporters.

*Z Cars theme tune rings out*

C: Yeh, hello? Hiya luv, no I've not won, it's a long story, I'll tell you went I get home, Leighton Seamus is in tears here, worse than the last Derby match, best stay at your sisters another couple of nights, wouldn't want you hurting yourself again..

J: (turns to camera) err, let's look at what he could have won..

Good evening, I’m Jim Davidson and here with John Virgo we......

 

 

Too early?

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There's a few dickheads already taking the piss out of McCarthy on Twitter etc. Apparently Liverpool fans too.

 

The bitters are suitably outraged. But, what I don't get is (while I personally wouldn't mock an injured player) why they instantly expect blanket sympathy when they come out with genuine bile and wishes to "snap" our players in derby matches etc.

 

A cynical person could argue that there's a bit of karma at play there.

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There's a few dickheads already taking the piss out of McCarthy on Twitter etc. Apparently Liverpool fans too.

 

The bitters are suitably outraged. But, what I don't get is (while I personally wouldn't mock an injured player) why they instantly expect blanket sympathy when they come out with genuine bile and wishes to "snap" our players in derby matches etc.

 

A cynical person could argue that there's a bit of karma at play there.

 

Only read the ending of their match thread, but one of them was gunning for other Everton posters being banned for comments about McCarthy.

 

Apparently Walcott said he got chills when he stepped out at Woodison. Someone should have warned him that it's cold up North in January. I wonder did he get chills when they were booed off at the end?

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