little things that annoy you

[Captain]

My Dad. A very little thing. 6 foot of total insignificance.

 

I've just spoken to him for the first time in years. He was at the next pump at the garage. I decided to be polite because I had my little girl in the car. Had a 2 minute conversation with him in which he got about 18 digs in about what a disappointment I am, including:

 

Dad: So where are you living now?

Me: *tells him*

Dad: *Screws up face* That's a bit of a come down isn't it?

Me: It's not so bad. I was struggling to afford the Kilburn house on my own.

Dad: Yeah, I heard you were on your own. Again.

 

Dad: *launches into glowing testimony of our youngest brother* I'm going to make sure Nathan doesn't throw his life away like you did.

Me: (trying to stay calm) I don't regret having kids when I did. Everything happens for a reason. I've been through a lot that I wouldn't have got through if I didn't have the kids to be strong for. Having them was the best thing I've ever done with my life, even if I was 17.

Dad: But you were going to be a doctor.

 

I cannot believe I am a product of his testicles.

 

That's awful. :(

[She Knows It]

That's awful. :(

 

Nah, not really. It was quite positive in a way because he's knocking on a bit now, and I've been wondering lately whether it was time I should make my peace with him. It answered my question.

[Qwality]

Dumb and dumber who i work with.

 

One fucking stinks all day every day despite being told he has a hygiene problem. Sort it out you smelly bastard! Hes from Middlesborough so its maybe not his fault i guess. Strange fuckers from there arent they.

 

The other is an annoying twat who comes into my office to talk about pointless things like "are you buying a lottery ticket tonight, £44m?." No im not you fucking sad twat. Its a Friday night and i have better things to do, get a life! All he does is watch tv at home and come to work. He never goes out anywhere ever. Oh and to make it worse hes a manc fan.

[Plewggs]

Nah, not really. It was quite positive in a way because he's knocking on a bit now, and I've been wondering lately whether it was time I should make my peace with him. It answered my question.

 

 

 

Despite the gobby loud-mouthed internet persona you can be surprisingly moving on occasions.

 

You could have been a Doctor but end up in Palookaville, no wonder your Dad’s disappointed.

 

I bet your Father would be thrilled if you turned-up on his doorstep for a chat, providing you’re not serpent-toothed.

You’ll regret not being reconciled after the old fella’s passed-on.

[madstock]

Those fucking fuckers with their fucking pneumatic fucking drill outside my fucking window. FUCK OFF. Please.

[paulie walnuts]

People with 11 items in the 10 items or less queue at Tesco.

[melons]

My Dad. A very little thing. 6 foot of total insignificance.

 

I've just spoken to him for the first time in years. He was at the next pump at the garage. I decided to be polite because I had my little girl in the car. Had a 2 minute conversation with him in which he got about 18 digs in about what a disappointment I am, including:

 

Dad: So where are you living now?

Me: *tells him*

Dad: *Screws up face* That's a bit of a come down isn't it?

Me: It's not so bad. I was struggling to afford the Kilburn house on my own.

Dad: Yeah, I heard you were on your own. Again.

 

Dad: *launches into glowing testimony of our youngest brother* I'm going to make sure Nathan doesn't throw his life away like you did.

Me: (trying to stay calm) I don't regret having kids when I did. Everything happens for a reason. I've been through a lot that I wouldn't have got through if I didn't have the kids to be strong for. Having them was the best thing I've ever done with my life, even if I was 17.

Dad: But you were going to be a doctor.

 

I cannot believe I am a product of his testicles.

 

That sucks. I haven't met my father, and to be honest, if this is the general rule of thumb of fathers behaviour, as it seems to be, im so glad he gave me the privilege of fucking off.

 

(oh, i got a similar lecture of a stoned mother once)

[windass]

People with 11 items in the 10 items or less queue at Tesco.

 

family members that drop the remote control to the tv on the floor.worse if its laminated flooring. :(

[dirty_sanchez]

My Dad. A very little thing. 6 foot of total insignificance.

 

I've just spoken to him for the first time in years. He was at the next pump at the garage. I decided to be polite because I had my little girl in the car. Had a 2 minute conversation with him in which he got about 18 digs in about what a disappointment I am, including:

 

Dad: So where are you living now?

Me: *tells him*

Dad: *Screws up face* That's a bit of a come down isn't it?

Me: It's not so bad. I was struggling to afford the Kilburn house on my own.

Dad: Yeah, I heard you were on your own. Again.

 

Dad: *launches into glowing testimony of our youngest brother* I'm going to make sure Nathan doesn't throw his life away like you did.

Me: (trying to stay calm) I don't regret having kids when I did. Everything happens for a reason. I've been through a lot that I wouldn't have got through if I didn't have the kids to be strong for. Having them was the best thing I've ever done with my life, even if I was 17.

Dad: But you were going to be a doctor.

 

I cannot believe I am a product of his testicles.

 

I hope you followed it up by headbutting him.

 

My personal irritant at the moment is the new song by Duffy which I heard this morning. It's an absolutely shameless attempt to rip off Unfinished Sympathy by Massive Attack.

[windass]

People with 11 items in the 10 items or less queue at Tesco.

 

only one extra thing though eh?

[dirty_sanchez]

People who, in traffic queues, think it's clever to drive so slowly that they don't actually stop as such, timing their crawl to the car in front just right so it's moved again before they reach it.

 

I wish they'd just close the gap, and then wait. Close the gap. Wait. Close the gap. Wait. Then I can get that thing I need out of the glove box, or read a bit of the paper, or lift my arse up for a second to de-wedgie myself.

 

You could always wait yourself. You don't have to stay six inches from their back bumper all the time. Also, all that stop start is very uneconomical.

[Sponky]

Family members who use the last of the toilet roll and do not replemish the holder with a new one.

[windass]

Family members who use the last of the toilet roll and do not replemish the holder with a new one.

 

i agree with that one!

[GOLDMEMBER]

My ma buying shit she doesnt need from tesco or asda, just because theres an offer on.

[Ian Sea]

People (well, the girlfriend) that use the bathroom when I'm already in there. Fuck off and wait your turn.

[Thants]

[Remmie]

That sucks. I haven't met my father, and to be honest, if this is the general rule of thumb of fathers behaviour, as it seems to be, im so glad he gave me the privilege of fucking off.

 

(oh, i got a similar lecture of a stoned mother once)

I'm sorry if your Dad is shit but don't fucking dare tar the rest of them witht he same brush. I hate this outdated notion that fathers are all shit.

[melons]

I'm sorry if your Dad is shit but don't fucking dare tar the rest of them witht he same brush. I hate this outdated notion that fathers are all shit.

 

Ouch!

 

re read my post. there is the word IF in there.

 

like i said, i have never met my 'father'....

 

i have had 4 'father positions filled' ok, i generalised all bar 1 (my grandfather) have been shite.

[Stu Monty]

I hope you followed it up by headbutting him.

 

My personal irritant at the moment is the new song by Duffy which I heard this morning. It's an absolutely shameless attempt to rip off Unfinished Sympathy by Massive Attack.

 

That'll be Adele actually. Mark Ronson produced it and I think he's pretty open about it being a bit of a nod of respect to Massive Attack. I was reading in OMM at the weekend that Massive Attack have done a tune with Guy Garvey from Elbow, I can't wait to hear that.

 

Little things that annoy me?

 

People who can't be bothered to capitalise or punctuate.

People who provide blocking software.

Kelly Jones.

[Redder Lurtz]

Nah, not really. It was quite positive in a way because he's knocking on a bit now, and I've been wondering lately whether it was time I should make my peace with him. It answered my question.

 

Is he getting too old to kick square in the nuts, Eric Cartman style? I can't believe anyone would have the audacity to speak to their kids like that. Shocking. Was it JFK who said that his father told him "Son, I don't care if you grow up to be a road sweeper. As long as you're the best god damn road sweeper." See, it doesn't matter that you're a waste of a life SKI, just as long as you're GOOD at it.

 

 

 

On the supermarket theme - WANKERS who put a full trolley of shopping through the self-service checkouts. GET OUT OF MY WAY. I'VE ONLY BOUGHT SOME VODKA, VASELINE AND VEET YOU BASTARD. That reminds me, what a cracking night that was.

[dirty_sanchez]

That'll be Adele actually. Mark Ronson produced it and I think he's pretty open about it being a bit of a nod of respect to Massive Attack. I was reading in OMM at the weekend that Massive Attack have done a tune with Guy Garvey from Elbow, I can't wait to hear that.

 

Little things that annoy me?

 

People who can't be bothered to capitalise or punctuate.

People who provide blocking software.

Kelly Jones.

 

Ah, close. See Mark Ronson says that it's a nod to Massive Attack, but it sounds like a shamless rip off. I'm a bit fed up with Mark Ronson to be honest. In my opinion, his better songs are better because of the vocalists.

[Stu Monty]

Ah, close. See Mark Ronson says that it's a nod to Massive Attack, but it sounds like a shamless rip off. I'm a bit fed up with Mark Ronson to be honest. In my opinion, his better songs are better because of the vocalists.

 

I'd disagree Sir. I think he's made some pretty darn decent pop tunes and it's mostly about the production. You have to consider that he had a bash at a Radiohead song and I still don't want him dead so he must have done a few things right.

 

He's upped the horn content on the radio by about 200%, which is a good thing.

[Guest TK-421]

My Dad says stuff like that, too. When he was picking me up to drive me home for the summer after the first year of Uni he said "do you think you'll go back for a second year?" Worracunt.

[madstock]

He's upped the horn content on the radio by about 200%, which is a good thing.

 

Have some rep, sir.

[melons]

I'm sorry if your Dad is shit but don't fucking dare tar the rest of them witht he same brush. I hate this outdated notion that fathers are all shit.

 

I have just re read the whole thread, what i was referring to is that dads seem to see children as let downs far more then mothers do.

 

Have i let mine down, probably, but then who gives? its my life.