Chelsea (A) - Sun 13th Aug 2023 (4:30pm)

[Trumo]

Work-rate. Incisiveness. Nous.

 

I don't ask for much.

 

You lazy no-bollocks bastards do though, because you can't put your money where your mouth is. This should have been one of you starting this thread.

 

Anyway, new season, and lets get back to basics. Chelsea have (another) new manager, and have spent a(nother) shitload of cash on new signings (a bunch of key players have left though), so who knows where they are at. They are also acting in cahoots with Caicedo's agent and Twitter shills like that "here we go!" knobhead Romano to try and get us to revoke our bid to sign the player. Brighton should be all Cuba Gooding Jr from Jerry Maguire and ask Chelsea to "show me the money!". This story is the backdrop to the game to such an extent that the game itself is almost an afterthought. You kind of wonder if there is any bad blood between Henry and Boehly as we are clearly telling the Chelsea man to go get his fucking shine box.

 

Our focus should be on the game. So concentration, attitude and application need to be tip-top. Go in there, grab the 3 points and get out. Whatever else is for another time. Get it gone!

[Bruce Spanner]

@Sapphire and faded jeans

 

Your name is forever mud.

[ZonkoVille77]

We're fuckin shite 

[bizzle10]

The Caicedo Derby 

[Special K]

Who's arsed?

[Pete]

Fuck ‘em

[El Rojo]

Even with our new midfield, we’ve a more settled team and a manager who has a great record against Pochettino.

 

Chelsea are an expensive circus. A defeat would be a really bad result here.

 

Chelsea 1 Liverpool 3 

[Bobby Hundreds]

Our defensive play is terrifying. No idea what to expect.

[No2]

Loads of attacking players on display, some ropey midfields and some tension between the clubs. Should lead to yet another 0-0.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I expect both teams will considerably better than last season (couldn't get any worse).  Last time we went to Stamford Bridge the mutual shitness cancelled each other out; this time, I expect better football but a similar likelihood of a stalemate.

 

Still, these are arguably the most obnoxious club, from top to bottom, in the whole league, so you know what to do: just get these beat, Reds.

[Guest]

Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop drinking Castlemaine XXXX.

[3 Stacks]

Lets be honest, theyll find a couple simple balls over the top to Mudryk and Jackson and well lose. 

[diamondjoe]

Martin Tyler is a cunt. 

[razor]

How can they play a game of football at a time like this?  Nobody's interested.

 

Give the players their mobiles, and at 4.30 have a Twitter Space-off.

 

Winner takes Caicedo.

 

[razor]

1 hour ago, razor said:

Winner takes Caicedo.

 

 

El Clascedo.

[Lee909]

Into these bastards

 

They'll get I'm all day down our right

[Bobby Hundreds]

Fortunately I'll be on a plane and can't watch this.

[suzy]

12 hours ago, diamondjoe said:

Martin Tyler is a cunt. 

Mercifully we won’t have to put up with him.

[bossy]

I arrive by train, first class, in Girona an hour before k.o. and then need to point and explain loudly to taxi drivers in Spanglish where I need to go, so who knows if I’ll see this. Fucking batter them Red Men, or win with a spawny strike at any point in the game. Welcome to the new season people. YNWA

[Captain Willard]

I’m currently sitting in a field (watching cricket) which is pretty much adjacent to the Chelsea training ground. Apparently the players will arrive around lunchtime so I might wander across to the gate and give them hostile stares as they train. 

[Mudface]

23 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

@Sapphire and faded jeans

 

Your name is forever mud.

 

Well it can be once my agent takes receipt of my licensing fees.

[George Costanza]

its going to be a classic Sky coverage hyperbolic shitfest

[Razoray]

Just now, George Costanza said:

its going to be a classic Sky coverage hyperbolic shitfest

turn on at 4.29. Brew at HT. Turn off at FT. Not enough to avoid it all but...

[Torvald Utne]

2 minutes ago, Razoray said:

turn on at 4.29. Brew at HT. Turn off at FT. Not enough to avoid it all but...

I literally have no idea why anyone does anything different

[BeefStroganoff]

Crazy how meh I feel about the first game of the season, I know loads who feel the same at the moment. I’m actually thinking of doing some work instead.