Coronavirus

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Compulsory orgies.

Just fly with Air Lingus mate 

[SasaS]

27 minutes ago, Jenson said:

Just been sent this on WhatsApp, it's probably doing the rounds.

 

 

Government's roadmap to ease Covid-19 restrictions will be set out in 5 phases. These phases will be on 3 week review process, the current phases would commence on the following dates:

 

Phase 1 - 18th May

Phase 2 - 8th June

Phase 3 - 29th June

Phase 4 - 20th July

Phase 5 - 10th August

 

If coronavirus cases begin to increase, we will revert to the restrictions set out in the previous stage.

 

PHASE 1

 

Phase 1 of the roadmap will lift the following restrictions:

 

Construction workers, landscape gardeners and other outdoor workers may return to work

 

Garden centres, repair shops and hardware stores may reopen

 

Fitness & sport activities (non-contact) in small groups (max of 4 people) may resume (golf included)

 

People may meet up with friends and family in small groups outdoors (size of a "small group" is defined as up to 4 people)

 

The majority of regular health services will resume 

 

Outdoor public amenities and tourism sites may reopen (beaches & mountain walks)

 

*NOTE - social distancing guidelines will remain in operation for all

 

PHASE 2

 

Phase 2 of the roadmap will lift the following restrictions:

 

Restriction will be extended from 5km to 20km

 

Specific retail hours will be allocated for those currently cocooning

 

Home visits will be allowed to those cocooning, by a small number of persons for a short period of time

 

Up to 4 people may visit another household for a short period of time

 

Slightly larger family gatherings at funerals will be permitted (limited to maximum safe social distancing can still be applied)

 

Solitary workers and workers that can maintain social distancing can return to work

 

Small retail outlets that can control staff and customer numbers and maintain social distancing may reopen

 

Public libraries will reopen

 

Outdoor sporting activities, involving small group training (no matches) can recommenced (no contact still allowed)

 

PHASE 3

 

Phase 3 of the roadmap will lift the following restrictions:

 

Commence opening of creches and pre-schools for children of essential workers

 

Commence a phased approach to visiting at hospitals and other healthcare settings

 

Businesses where employees have low levels of daily interaction may reopen

 

Phase in the opening of all other non-essential retail outlets, restricting customer numbers and applying social distancing (limited to retail outlets with street level entrance and exit, i.e. not in shopping centres)

 

Playgrounds will be reopened

 

'Behind closed doors' sporting events may recommence

 

Cafes and restaurants may reopen as long as social distancing is maintained

 

PHASE 4

 

Phase 4 of the roadmap will lift the following restrictions:

 

Travel will be extended to outside of your region

 

Larger household visits will be permitted

 

Small social gatherings will be permitted (baptisms, small weddings etc.)

 

Creches and pre-schools will reopen for all other children

 

Other employees return to work - beginning with those who cannot work remotely and then staggering the working times to ensure social distancing 

 

Barbers and hairdressers may reopen

 

Museums and other cultural outlets may reopen

 

Sports teams (GAA & soccer) may recommence and public swimming pools may reopen

 

Hotels and other hospitality units may reopen based on limited occupancy. Hotel bars are to remain closed.

 

PHASE 5

 

Phase 5 of the roadmap will lift the following restrictions:

 

Social gatherings will be permitted except for large gathering and gatherings in households of suspect cases

 

Schools and colleges will reopen on a phased basis and will recommence in the new academic year 

 

Normal hospital and other residential setting visits will be allowed

 

All employees may return to work on normal onsite arrangements, except organisations that cannot maintain social distancing plans

 

Enclosed shopping centres may reopen

 

Tattoo and piercing parlors may reopen

 

Cinemas may reopen

 

Close contact physical sports may recommence (rugby, boxing etc.)

 

Gyms and dance studios may reopen

 

Mass sporting events may recommence where social distancing can be maintained

 

Indoor recreational venues may reopen (bowling, bingo etc.)

 

Small festivals and other outdoor cultural events may resume

 

Tourist travel to offshore islands may resume

#StayHomeStaySafe

 

That would mean no PL before the end of June.

[Sugar Ape]

 

[3 Stacks]

4 hours ago, Gnasher said:

 

 

Jesus, he's so fucking ugly.

[mattyq]

 

[Scooby Dudek]

1 hour ago, 1892-LFCWasBorn said:

 

Again having the audacity to ask a relevant question is attacked as a negative "tone", then the lies just come out.

 

How dare you question us ? We need to stand together. 

This is one reason for all the wartime jargon, imo, so they can just dismiss anyone who doesn't tow the line and goes against the "we are brilliant and everyone will look to us for how to do things" narrative. 

 

The fact the media happily doff the cap at daily press conferences helps feed the narrative and one reason people think they are doing a good job. 

[SasaS]

3 minutes ago, mattyq said:

 

Wait, didn't his estimate based on ALL excess deaths by definition already include ONS' new corona related deaths from April?  How come everytime ONS attribures more deaths to corona in the overall (presumably same) number of all recorded deaths, his estimate goes up?

[1892-LFCWasBorn]

9 minutes ago, mattyq said:

 

Was about to post this. Just awful.

[Duff Man]

4 hours ago, Gnasher said:

With regards to above I popped on Twitter to see if me old mate and chief bbx political correspondent Laura Kuenssberg has mentioned the landmark death rate or gone suspiciously quiet, laura has a habit of going quiet when the government gets bad news, but I was wrong she has not gone quiet at all shes tweeting away like a happy little bird up a tree, but she seems to have missed the death rate entirely, instead shes found more important news, like this 

 

 

 

 

[Sugar Ape]

13 minutes ago, SasaS said:

Wait, didn't his estimate based on ALL excess deaths by definition already include ONS' new corona related deaths from April?  How come everytime ONS attribures more deaths to corona in the overall (presumably same) number of all recorded deaths, his estimate goes up?

I’m not 100% but I think his numbers are based on a cautious estimate. So as you can see he assumed 8,700 deaths in the latest week the figures are for but it was actually 11,539. I’m sure when he started doing it he said he would be very cautious with his estimations so he wasn’t over what the actual figures would be. 
 

So his current estimate of 53,800 will include the last couple of weeks when we haven’t got official figures, he’s just using his algorithm or whatever. When those figures are actually released (as there is a lag and the deaths outside hospital figures are released weekly) he will revise his numbers either up or down. Unfortunately they seem to only be revised upwards. 
 

 

[Gnasher]

When the pubs opening

[mattyq]

10 minutes ago, SasaS said:

Wait, didn't his estimate based on ALL excess deaths by definition already include ONS' new corona related deaths from April?  How come everytime ONS attribures more deaths to corona in the overall (presumably same) number of all recorded deaths, his estimate goes up?

His headline number is based on an estimate of excess deaths.

The ONS, I think, release the figures on a weekly basis and have just released the excess death total up to and including the 20th April. He then uses their actual figure to replace his estimate to the 20th. 

[Section_31]

35 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

 

I'm pinning my hopes to this one instead, for no good reason other than I hope it's true.

 

 

Researchers said they have identified a mutation in samples obtained from patients who have been tested for COVID-19 that may indicate the virus is weakening and that potentially mirror a similar genetic mutation that occurred during the severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) outbreak in 2003 and 2004, according to an accepted manuscript of a study published in the Journal of Virology on May 1. The University of Arizona researchers examined 383 samples of people who had been tested for COVID-19 (five had tested positive) and used next-generation sequencing to identify mutations in those five genomes. "Similar deletions in SARS-CoV-2 genomes are emerging, notably in the ORF8 gene that may potentially reduce virus fitness," the researchers wrote. They also found that many of the first Arizona cases appear to come from Europe, and not Wuhan, China, where the virus was first identified.

[Moo]

2 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

I’m not 100% but I think his numbers are based on a cautious estimate. So as you can see he assumed 8,700 deaths in the latest week the figures are for but it was actually 11,539. I’m sure when he started doing it he said he would be very cautious with his estimations so he wasn’t over what the actual figures would be. 
 

So his current estimate of 53,800 will include the last couple of weeks when we haven’t got official figures, he’s just using his algorithm or whatever. When those figures are actually released (as there is a lag and the deaths outside hospital figures are released weekly) he will revise his numbers either up or down. Unfortunately they seem to only be revised upwards. 

It seems that way (I thought that was self evident really but maybe I'm being too simplistic), that he'd previously underestimated so has adjusted accordingly. 

[Gnasher]

35 minutes ago, 3 Stacks said:

Jesus, he's so fucking ugly.

Yep and we alsob got about a decade of the cunts sprog photos to look forward to.

[Elite]

It's looking like it'll be 2 months for Barbers to open, I'll deffo have a full on Ket Wig by then. Anyone got any dubbers?

[1892-LFCWasBorn]

Hancock getting ripped to pieces on Twitter by all for his 'watch your tone' comment at Rosena Khan.

 

Ha ha ha.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

There was fuck all wrong with her tone.

 

Hancock is another typical Tory who doesn't like being asked difficult questions by a woman. Or, rather, a non-white woman. 

[Gnasher]

51%  of the fucking country think regarding the virus Johnson is he man for the job .Maybe they thought Harold Shipman was a bit misunderstood.

[Anubis]

47 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

 

The Predator Aliens have arrived.

[Sugar Ape]

[Lario]

1 hour ago, Jenson said:

Just been sent this on WhatsApp, it's probably doing the rounds.

 

 

Government's roadmap to ease Covid-19 restrictions will be set out in 5 phases. These phases will be on 3 week review process, the current phases would commence on the following dates:

 

Phase 1 - 18th May

Phase 2 - 8th June

Phase 3 - 29th June

Phase 4 - 20th July

Phase 5 - 10th August

 

If coronavirus cases begin to increase, we will revert to the restrictions set out in the previous stage.

 

PHASE 1

 

Phase 1 of the roadmap will lift the following restrictions:

 

Construction workers, landscape gardeners and other outdoor workers may return to work

 

Garden centres, repair shops and hardware stores may reopen

 

Fitness & sport activities (non-contact) in small groups (max of 4 people) may resume (golf included)

 

People may meet up with friends and family in small groups outdoors (size of a "small group" is defined as up to 4 people)

 

The majority of regular health services will resume 

 

Outdoor public amenities and tourism sites may reopen (beaches & mountain walks)

 

*NOTE - social distancing guidelines will remain in operation for all

 

PHASE 2

 

Phase 2 of the roadmap will lift the following restrictions:

 

Restriction will be extended from 5km to 20km

 

Specific retail hours will be allocated for those currently cocooning

 

Home visits will be allowed to those cocooning, by a small number of persons for a short period of time

 

Up to 4 people may visit another household for a short period of time

 

Slightly larger family gatherings at funerals will be permitted (limited to maximum safe social distancing can still be applied)

 

Solitary workers and workers that can maintain social distancing can return to work

 

Small retail outlets that can control staff and customer numbers and maintain social distancing may reopen

 

Public libraries will reopen

 

Outdoor sporting activities, involving small group training (no matches) can recommenced (no contact still allowed)

 

PHASE 3

 

Phase 3 of the roadmap will lift the following restrictions:

 

Commence opening of creches and pre-schools for children of essential workers

 

Commence a phased approach to visiting at hospitals and other healthcare settings

 

Businesses where employees have low levels of daily interaction may reopen

 

Phase in the opening of all other non-essential retail outlets, restricting customer numbers and applying social distancing (limited to retail outlets with street level entrance and exit, i.e. not in shopping centres)

 

Playgrounds will be reopened

 

'Behind closed doors' sporting events may recommence

 

Cafes and restaurants may reopen as long as social distancing is maintained

 

PHASE 4

 

Phase 4 of the roadmap will lift the following restrictions:

 

Travel will be extended to outside of your region

 

Larger household visits will be permitted

 

Small social gatherings will be permitted (baptisms, small weddings etc.)

 

Creches and pre-schools will reopen for all other children

 

Other employees return to work - beginning with those who cannot work remotely and then staggering the working times to ensure social distancing 

 

Barbers and hairdressers may reopen

 

Museums and other cultural outlets may reopen

 

Sports teams (GAA & soccer) may recommence and public swimming pools may reopen

 

Hotels and other hospitality units may reopen based on limited occupancy. Hotel bars are to remain closed.

 

PHASE 5

 

Phase 5 of the roadmap will lift the following restrictions:

 

Social gatherings will be permitted except for large gathering and gatherings in households of suspect cases

 

Schools and colleges will reopen on a phased basis and will recommence in the new academic year 

 

Normal hospital and other residential setting visits will be allowed

 

All employees may return to work on normal onsite arrangements, except organisations that cannot maintain social distancing plans

 

Enclosed shopping centres may reopen

 

Tattoo and piercing parlors may reopen

 

Cinemas may reopen

 

Close contact physical sports may recommence (rugby, boxing etc.)

 

Gyms and dance studios may reopen

 

Mass sporting events may recommence where social distancing can be maintained

 

Indoor recreational venues may reopen (bowling, bingo etc.)

 

Small festivals and other outdoor cultural events may resume

 

Tourist travel to offshore islands may resume

#StayHomeStaySafe

 

Just in case any of you Brits think you're govenment have any discernible plan, the above is the Irish government's roadmap.

 

Unless the Tories copied and pasted, and forgot to remove the GAA reference!

[mattyq]

More info

 

https://www.ft.com/coronavirus-latest

[Bjornebye]

11 minutes ago, 1892-LFCWasBorn said:

Hancock getting ripped to pieces on Twitter by all for his 'watch your tone' comment at Rosena Khan.

 

Ha ha ha.

He is a petulant fucking prefect cunt. 

 

 

 

 

Nice to see Tits and Pie get it right as well

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Bobby Hundreds]

20 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

I'm furloughed because I've got a job not because I'm feckless. Is he suggesting we should fuck our jobs off if their not allowed to open.