Xherdan Shaqiri

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

He's tiny, fat and slow. How is he going to deputise for Mane or Salah exactly? He's a 'hug the touchline' type winger, not an inside forward.

 

His stats are rubbish. He's just been relegated. He wasn't even the standout player in that team and he's been hugely disrespectful to his team mates in the press and only turns up when he wants. Definition of a luxury player. Fuck the fuck off.

 

I need to know the context of that gif

[Anny Road]

You're fat and shit. I'm oot.

 

[KMD7]

Trump inauguration day innit.

I need to know the context of that gif

[Anubis]

It's generally known as Death Of A Guide Dog.

[skend04]

Think he scored and assisted in 15 goals last season. Ings and Solanke had 2 between them. £12m for a 26 year old player at the World Cup with PL experience is a no brainer. Even if he is short and fat.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I wish I was as fat as him

[VladimirIlyich]

He'll be the kind of player who brings the boss an apple and then sneaks off to the bike sheds for a crafty ciggie most of the time.

I'd still rather have Shakira,at least her hips don't lie.

[Boss]

I need to know the context of that gif

 

[The Golden Eel]

He's tiny, fat and slow. How is he going to deputise for Mane or Salah exactly? He's a 'hug the touchline' type winger, not an inside forward.

 

His stats are rubbish. He's just been relegated. He wasn't even the standout player in that team and he's been hugely disrespectful to his team mates in the press and only turns up when he wants. Definition of a luxury player. Fuck the fuck off. 

 

 

Of course he was their standout player, as he will likely be for Switzerland at the World Cup. He's not a hug the touchline player either. He does seem like a bit of a nob though and he is short and fat.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Think he scored and assisted in 15 goals last season. Ings and Solanke had 2 between them. £12m for a 26 year old player at the World Cup with PL experience is a no brainer. Even if he is short and fat.

15 in a full season is not that impressive. You can't just try to compare that with two players who barely saw the pitch.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Of course he was their standout player, as he will likely be for Switzerland at the World Cup. He's not a hug the touchline player either. He does seem like a bit of a nob though and he is short and fat.

He was like a golden Caramac wrapper in a bag of shite.

[Grinch]

Meh, gives me a bit of interest in Switzerland games during the world cup.  If I'm not working every one of their three games, which is quite likely tbf.  Someone should have warned me how expensive weddings are.

[Bjornebye]

Tikka Taka football

[setreal]

He isn't the sharpest army knife in the chalet, I'd take him at that price tho.

[El Rojo]

Looks like the type to wear three quarter length denim trouser/shorts on holiday, but at that price I’m in.

[Elite]

Tikka Taka football

Chicken Tikka Football.

[El Rojo]

Death by football.

 

 

Or chocolate.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

He should go to Goodison. He would be right at home in their trophy room.

 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Is he an upgrade on our next 11?  For me it's a yes and I am in.  

[Gym Beglin]

Are you seriously suggesting that this former Bayern Munich and Inter Milan player is better than Dom Solanke?

I’d rather have Solanke playing 9 than Shaqiri.

[Captain Turdseye]

I’m waiting for the opinion of esteemed football writer David. E. Usher, in this weeks edition of his hit weekly editorial ‘That was the week that was’ before I decide wether or not I’m on board with the signing of this fat lad from Stoke.

[Brownie]

In light of being stung with predictions in the past i’m gonna say that he’ll be one of the following:

 

1. Shite

2. Alright

3. Good

4. Really Good

5. Amazing

 

I think that about covers it.

[Josef Svejk]

I think he'd be very useful for the price, as long as he knows his place in the pecking order.

[The Guest]

He has got a weird physique like. I wouldn’t automatically describe him as fat although he obviously looks it. I don’t think there’s any other professional footballers built like him.

 

I think people should take a look at last years Andy Robertson as an example of this type of attitude towards players at relegated/relegation threatened clubs. All sorts were piling in about how shite he was and what a bad signing it would be. I think I said at the time it showed how little a lot of people actually watch the other teams in the league. He looked very promising in a poor team. It’s also why some of our players get overly panned. People aren’t comparing with anything other than unrealistic rose tinted spectacles of how previous players did absolutely everything right.

 

If you’d ever watched Shaqiri play you would know first of all he’s not shite. He’s also not slow. Despite having this weird build where it looks like he’s carrying excess weight, whether it be fat or muscle, he’s actually pretty quick. He’s got a penchant for scoring spectacular goals. In terms of ability beating players he’s as good as anyone we’ve got in a one on one situation with a defender.

 

As an all round footballer he’s not in the class of our front 3 but not many players are. It’s very easy to just write signing players like this off because generally in football more players fail than succeed so you can pat yourself on the back and tell everyone how clever you are and when they make a cunt of you like Robertson did you can just pretend like you never said anything.

 

He’s got a lot of ability and at that price if they can convince him to come here as a squad player then it’s a no brainier for me.

[Guest Alex_K]

Klopp wouldn’t sign anyway he wasn’t convinced could subscribe to our way of playing. Shaqiri is talented no doubt: Klopp could be very good for him.