Middle Class Generalisation Thread

[CapeRed]

2 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

 

We were a few players short for my girls under 11 football match yesterday (last weekend of the school hols) so I had to borrow girls from the under 10s.  Athena, Pearl and Juniper.

 

Got to admit there are some cracking names down here . As a kid back in Liverpool I remember being amazed when a lad in our class told us his middle name was Edgar , poor lad took quite a bit of stick for it.

[YorkshireRed]

6 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

Juniper.

She posts on here. Not as frequently as she once did mind you. Obviously focusing on her unmentionable. 
 

She’ll be back. Misspent youth and all that. 

[VladimirIlyich]

4 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

She posts on here. Not as frequently as she once did mind you. Obviously focusing on her unmentionable. 
 

She’ll be back. Misspent youth and all that. 

Goes by Jennifer these days.

[Karl_b]

On 09/07/2023 at 19:24, Section_31 said:

The dads talk loudly in public to their babies/very young children.

 

"We need to get some sweeties for mummy, and some food for doggy. Don't we?"

 

I can't quite figure out why. Possibly a lack of social contact due to a high performing job role, or feeling the need to advertise there's a second income in the house in case his bank manager shops there.

 

Or maybe it's about engagement with their kids and helping with language development?

[Section_31]

The dads have better haircuts than their sons.

[Captain Turdseye]

On 23/05/2023 at 14:29, Captain Willard said:

I’ve got a friend who is unimaginably rich but drives a battered VW Touran with the engine  warning lights constantly flashing and he wears Tescos jeans. 

 

I know a couple of multi-millionaires down here where I live. Born into it.

 

One fella I know, he’s called Torquil, blew all of his inheritance (couple of million quid) on coke and partying so now he runs errands for another millionaire we know who he was childhood friends with. Both of them are fucking mental. 
 

They talk about going to play cricket with people like Tim Rice, yet Torquil can’t stand him. Apparently he’s a bad knobhead. 
 

And yeah, they both drive bangers around. Torquil came up to Speke a couple of times to pick me up and bring me down here to visit my bird, and he was amazed by the shop I lived opposite to. A little shop called Bargain Booze. 
 

Amazingly, they both knew who Purple Aki was and I’ve been pestered for info about him by both of these fellas. 

[VladimirIlyich]

59 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

I know a couple of multi-millionaires down here where I live. Born into it.

 

One fella I know, he’s called Torquil, blew all of his inheritance (couple of million quid) on coke and partying so now he runs errands for another millionaire we know who he was childhood friends with. Both of them are fucking mental. 
 

They talk about going to play cricket with people like Tim Rice, yet Torquil can’t stand him. Apparently he’s a bad knobhead. 
 

And yeah, they both drive bangers around. Torquil came up to Speke a couple of times to pick me up and bring me down here to visit my bird, and he was amazed by the shop I lived opposite to. A little shop called Bargain Booze. 
 

Amazingly, they both knew who Purple Aki was and I’ve been pestered for info about him by both of these fellas. 

Torquil sounds like a cold and flu treatment you buy in posh shops.

[Captain Turdseye]

7 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Torquil sounds like a cold and flu treatment you buy in posh shops.

He is the most racist, misogynistic person I’ve ever met. Even the younger version of me, less in tune with politics, etc, found it pretty uncomfortable at times, sat in the passenger seat with a bag of cans listening to his stories.

 

Maybe being born into proper wealth makes you a ‘orrible cunt. 
 

His mate though, he’s a good man. He was paying Torquil to drive to Liverpool and get me, as a favour to my bird because they’re friends. He’s a kind, funny and generous bloke but still totally fucking loopy. 

[Trumo]

Tarquins talk about Torquils the way TLW forumites talk about Tarquins. 

 

Say that 3 times fast.

[sir roger]

5 hours ago, Section_31 said:

The dads have better haircuts than their sons.

 

Would be hard not judging by the young lads I see these days. 

Got served by a lad in the Bridewell yesterday who looked like the guy out of Flock of Seagulls.

[Bruce Spanner]

They shop, almost exclusively, in shops that only sell gifts for when you go round to another middle class blerts house.

 

'Oh, here's some horsehair crackers, great with Brie, from Falubalubs, that ethical gift shop just off junction 27'

[Karl_b]

Junction 27, you say?

[Section_31]

They like to get their money's worth at hotels, this includes saving the pillow chocolates as a future treat for the kids when they're asking for chocolate, and using the spa pool, even if they didn't brink trunks and have to use their underpants. Excessive apple and orange juice is also consumed at the buffet breakfast even if nobody really likes it. Plugs are also used at any opportunity to charge phones and kindles, even if they're at 98%. 

 

Complaints are also mandatory, even if nothing was wrong. 

[Fugitive]

Their kids are usually little crying cunts if they have even the slightest trip or fall because Mummy & Daddy treat it like the world is ending whenever it happens.

 

I was in the park with my daughter last week and one of the little bastards who was about 4 tripped over and was screaming. The parents were both sat on the floor cradling the little bellend and looked like they were going to cry as well

 

My daughter, who is two, ran down the slide the other day and face planted at the bottom, jumped up and proceeded to get back on the slide and run down it again. She is now sporting a big bruise just underneath her eye but was not even slightly bothered.

[Section_31]

They cut public realm grass outside their house even if it's not on their property.

 

They're added to school dads' WhatsApp groups because they've got no actual mates.

[Bruce Spanner]

They wear a second rate ‘Lincoln, Lacrosse 2nd team’ university sports kit to every social occasion despite appropriateness.

[Section_31]

They have an opinion on HS2. 

[Bruce Spanner]

15 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

They have an opinion on HS2. 

Mate of mine, proper middle class fop, is relying on a CPO for his dads place as his inheritance.

 

Never shuts up about it.

 

He’s gutted at all the delays and cuts.

[Section_31]

4 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Mate of mine, proper middle class fop, is relying on a CPO for his dads place as his inheritance.

 

Never shuts up about it.

 

He’s gutted at all the delays and cuts.

 

Seen a thing a couple of years back about a village doctor who said she was endlessly prescribing anti depressants to village folk because of it even though it wasn't even that close. 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Letting Cheese 'breathe'.

[TheBitch]

Mmmmmmm, cheese. 

[stringvest]

On 28/08/2023 at 08:20, Section_31 said:

They like to get their money's worth at hotels, this includes saving the pillow chocolates as a future treat for the kids when they're asking for chocolate, and using the spa pool, even if they didn't brink trunks and have to use their underpants. Excessive apple and orange juice is also consumed at the buffet breakfast even if nobody really likes it. Plugs are also used at any opportunity to charge phones and kindles, even if they're at 98%. 

 

Complaints are also mandatory, even if nothing was wrong. 

 

no middle class people use the spa pool.  Its like chav soup in there.

[Section_31]

One of their kids is oriental even if they're not.

[Stouffer]

Telling people that they listen to Radio 4.

[RJ Fan club]

1 hour ago, Stouffer said:

Telling people that they listen to Radio 4.

Damn right. My old boss was one of them. He’d come into work and speak up conversations with some skewed opinion he’d gleaned from a segment he’d failed to understand.  

It would be purgatory listening to the today program on the way to work with this shitshow of a government and a country and world. Just whack on a podcast or something less highbrow and depressing in the morning. 
 

R4 entertainment is ace and is one of those things you can enjoy without needing to tell everyone 

 

The only time I listened Today was when my brother in law was a guest on it. The family was so proud when he signed off when thanked by John Humphreys for his analysis by saying, “no problem, cheers mate”.