Depression

[Anny Road]

When I look back at my darkest moments and how I thought there could be no future for me I am glad I made the right choice. Those days are history.

You have no idea what tomorrow holds for you mate give it a whirl.

[Dr Nowt]

I can't speak to a doctor. I haven't properly seen one for at least a couple of years. I had cancer in the late 00's, got the all clear and had to have annual checks. I haven't been for a check since the summer of 2014. My symptoms returned about eighteen months ago and have been getting worse month in month out. If, as I strongly suspect, the cancer has returned, I'm genuinely ok with it taking my life and have decided that, even if I saw a doctor, I'd refuse treatment this time.

Tony, I volunteer for a scheme run by Macmillan Cancer Support, which is an advocacy service provided for those who have been diagnosed with cancer. It was originally conceived for over 50 year olds, but they have started to consider patients of any age on a case-by-case basis (volunteers to the scheme previously also had to be over 50, but as in my case that strictness has also been relaxed).

 

"We support patients at any and every stage of the journey from investigations (pre-diagnosis) through active treatment to coping with the consequences of cancer treatment. We help you to make informed decisions about treatment and care and to live well with cancer."

 

"We can help you find out whatever you need to know, from information about cancer itself through to practical help that is available locally."

 

Along with this they can help with arranging access to such services, provide various areas of personal support depending on the circumstances and needs of the individual, and can co-attend clinical appointments to ensure all information is captured and understood, and a patient's wishes are respected.

 

I'm helping the chap I'm partnered with keep on track with his numerous appointments for example, as he struggles with organisation and previously kept missing them, prompting him and ensuring he always has transport to take him there, while also providing someone to chat to and bounce his thoughts off as and when he requires it.

 

It's a fantastic service from what I've seen so far; free, independent and confidential, and seeks to give people whatever backing and support they need at whichever stage of the process they're at.

 

If you would like me to find out if such a service exists in your area and if so hook you up with it, let me know. I'm sure you know and fully understand your various options, so I'm sorry if this all sounds presumptuous or patronising...I just know how difficult it is when you're at a low point mentally to find enough motivation and focus to arrange even things which may keep you alive, especially when it involves the often unwieldly to navigate health service.

 

If having someone else help with some of what you would need to do to explore this, look into potential help for depression/anxiety in the meanwhile, and be there to support you throughout, may take a load off you and has even a tiny chance of making this all seem a more manageable proposition, maybe its worth considering.

 

Likewise, if you would like any support from me directly, just drop me a PM. You're welcome to have my phone number if you ever want someone to talk to and just bounce your thoughts off. In my own experience that can be something which provides a bit of clarity and even some respite from stress at times; removing some of the isolation and loneliness which worries over health can bring, and allowing you to frame your own thoughts accurately. Goes without saying that would all be in confidence.

 

You come across on here as a really decent fella with a lot to offer. I don't say any of this to put any more pressure on you, but to offer a way to alleviate some of the existing pressure you may be feeling.

 

I truly wish you all the best mate, don't write yourself off prematurely.

[Bjornebye]

Tony are you still local to Liverpool or do I remember you saying you've moved to Yorkshire? You need a pint and a chat mate. 

[KMD7]

Go to your GP Tony mate.  You know you need to. 

[Captain Turdseye]

Tony are you still local to Liverpool or do I remember you saying you've moved to Yorkshire? You need a pint and a chat mate.

Tony's a recovering alcoholic. Not sure that's gonna help!

 

Come down to mine, Tony. We'll get stoned and eat biscuits. No fucking custard creams though, you deviant.

 

Seriously though, get down the doctors. You've got no choice now because Champ is gonna be all up in your shit until you do.

[Kidder Bukowski]

I don't know you lad but from reading your posts you seem sound. (Apart from calling me a Code?) I've got a brother and a sister recovering from cancer and I understand it's such an uphill battle but it has to be worth it.

 

Think of all the good times you've had in you're life and there are loads more like them waiting to be had. A thing I've always found in life is (turns into Dr cliche) that the finest china is the easiest to break. I've lost two mates who were probably the nicest and most artistic of all our old gang and after a few too many bevvies I still shed a tear for them.

 

And the funny thing is, cunts never feel this way. Weird isn't it? So for the sake of the least cuntish amongst us go and see your doctor mate and keep the fight going!

[Bjornebye]

Code speaking sense there

[cloggypop]

Don't fuck off, Code

[Tony Moanero]

Tony are you still local to Liverpool or do I remember you saying you've moved to Yorkshire? You need a pint and a chat mate. 

 

 

I'm Yorkshire based now. I don't go back to Liverpool nowadays, to be honest, mate. I'm not sure why really. Probably because I don't want to taint my memories of all the boss times I had there throughout the years. It would have to be a tomato juice, like, as I don't drink anymore.

[Jenson]

Just got back to this thread and read your post Tony, and I can only echo what everyone else has said. Go to the Doctor, ignorance isn't and never will be bliss.

[Mook]

Tony, you're a sound cunt, look after yourself.

[Carvalho Diablo]

If you need a good reason why it makes sense to go and to see your doc, just have a gander at the Christina Milian thread. Fuff ! Make it so Snr Manero.

[Nunavut Patrick]

What everyone else as said mate

 

And yer Ma.

 

There are some really sound people on here, I've even met some of them, who would have no problem lending an ear or whatnot.

 

Best of luck Tony.

[ZonkoVille77]

Tony get to the docs dude. There's people who need you whether you know it or not. I also need you in my 5 aside Christian name team you bollocks.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Oh and binning the ale shows how strong you are as well mate take some strength from that.

[Elite]

Ger some custards creams down your neck, watch a bit of flashscore and know that you'll be grand.

[Bjornebye]

I'm Yorkshire based now. I don't go back to Liverpool nowadays, to be honest, mate. I'm not sure why really. Probably because I don't want to taint my memories of all the boss times I had there throughout the years. It would have to be a tomato juice, like, as I don't drink anymore.

Well when you next do you can sit and watch me get pissed. Chin up mate x

[Champ]

I've been looking for the next recipient of a batch of brownies. Or it could be Simnel Cake. The choice is yours x

 

Edit I should have said they're for after you've been to th doctors

[Carvalho Diablo]

I've been looking for the next recipient of a batch of brownies. Or it could be Simnel Cake. The choice is yours x

{shameless and inappropriate cough}

[Captain Turdseye]

*whistles*

[Section_31]

I thought that said shameel cake for a second and thought it was a Jewish thing.

[G Richards]

Tony - just want to echo what everyone is saying here. Get to the doctor. The cancer might be back. Or it might not. And the truth is none of us knows how many days we have left, but we have to make the most of them. Make it count mate. Seriously, do not go quietly into the night... 

 

It's an altogether lesser scale, but we are going through it with our 13 year old daughter right now. She was recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression and we have her in to see a counselor. It broke my heart actually, some of what I learned. I might be a bit biased as I'm her dad, but she's a beautiful and talented girl. She is a great singer, is sporty, clever, 5'7 and a good person too - she always seems to stick up for the underdog and bring people into her friend group and so on. So from my perspective, things have been going well with her. 

 

However, she started having seizures again recently, only this time they have come as a result of the symptoms I said above (depression and anxiety). One of the triggers for her goes back three years ago when some boys laughed at her and said she was fat (she was a bit chubby, but has grown about 8 inches since then and is very slim now - not that it matters if you are slim or not anyway). Anyhow, what I recently learned is that she self-harmed after the boys made fun of her and she cut herself on the thighs with a razor.

 

Proper broke my heart that did, both that it happened, and also that I didn't know until very recently.

 

My first reaction was the old scouse part of me, as I wanted to find out who the boys were and go round there. But Mrs G is much better than me, and she has been helping to unravel some things with her. We're learning as we go here, but she likes the counselor and is making good progress.  

[Section_31]

Sorry to hear that Rev but sounds like you're on top of it. There's actually such a thing as a 'highly sensative person' (seriously Google it, they have highly developed empathy neurons which makes them feel other people's pain) sounds like your daughter might be one, that's probably why she's so talented.

[Anubis]

Late to this but like everyone has said, Tony, get your ass to Mar...  ...sorry, the doctor's.

[Rico1304]

Dr's mate, as soon as possible.

 

You cannot deny us the 'Tony's ma' joke, it's got,years of mileage left in it.