Have a rant thread

[kelster]

And people who think that they are alternative, and that anyone who doesn't like their music/lifestyle is a bellend.

 

Mrs LL has some friends who think they are alternative and you have never met such a group of conformists in your life. Just booking 3 days off work to go to a festival you have bought tickets to, fucking stick to the man. Melts

 

"I'm a bit eclective/alternative when it comes to music. I like Coldplay, U2....."

[Hooch]

The Wedding Video - Trailer - YouTube

 

Not sure how you embed a youtube clip. But this movie. Why do shit movies like this get made? I already know why, it's because fucking idiots, in their droves, eat this weddingy, wacky hijinks bullshit up. There must be some good screenwriters out there who just despair when they see these things commisioned.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Will mellor, how has this fucking trumpet forged a career, he's a lipless fuck who can't act, yet somehow he keeps on getting jobs.

[JagSquared]

Why are big jackpot winners who go public always fat fuckers? I'm sure theres a correlation between weight and luck crossed with the stupidity to go public with something like that. Why go public anyway? All they will get is friends coming out of the woodwork and begging letters anyway. Still at least they can have that extra ginsters pie.

[Liverpool lad]

Why are big jackpot winners who go public always fat fuckers? I'm sure theres a correlation between weight and luck crossed with the stupidity to go public with something like that. Why go public anyway? All they will get is friends coming out of the woodwork and begging letters anyway. Still at least they can have that extra ginsters pie.

 

Loads of boring fucking cunts tend to win it as well.

 

'I might get the caravan a bit more'

 

Fucking cunts

[melons]

Why are big jackpot winners who go public always fat fuckers? I'm sure theres a correlation between weight and luck crossed with the stupidity to go public with something like that. Why go public anyway? All they will get is friends coming out of the woodwork and begging letters anyway. Still at least they can have that extra ginsters pie.

 

Loads of boring fucking cunts tend to win it as well.

 

'I might get the TENT a bit more'

 

Fucking cunts

 

I really need to start playing the lottery, that's me, that is.

 

 

 

 

 

That teasing twat Remmie, he has no idea how much he's taunting me on face ache at the moment.

 

 

 

I'm off to buy a lottery ticket and just to be sure, a bar of chocolate to seal that win.

[md1892]

Fuck Political correctness.

 

I'm just about fed up with the way 'big units' are spoiling life for the rest of us. I'm not talking about your few extra pounds or a little middle age spread here. I'm talking a few times your own weight.

 

You're at an event, some big unit is sat in front of you. This particular unit was wearing a sleeveless top, with those baby arms and more. When she got them lifted to take a picture the smell was sickening. Worse still when it stood up I actually felt sick and I've discovered a rotten corpse (no you're not having it)

 

The flimsy little plastic seat had no chance, neither did my knees. It was spread almost half over each of the seats on either side. The annoying thing was it was there with it's husband and a small child. Now common sense would put the child on one side, the hubby on the other. let them suffer the gastropod's rolls of lard. But no, that's considering other people.

 

Anyway, with the smell and my knees hurting it was a pretty shit time.

 

About time events started to discriminate against hefty fuckers. If you're twice the size you have 2 seats and you pay for two. If you can afford to stuff your fat mouth then you can consider others and pay for your two bodies. If they start trouble then stick a donut on a fishing rod and lead them out.

 

I've no problem generally with how people want to abuse themselves, but when it impacts on everyone else like that then the only way to stop it is to positively discriminate against the morbidly obese or give them 6 months and then allow us to roam the street with elephant guns.

 

You're going to love this then :

 

Calling someone 'fatty' could become a hate crime - Telegraph

 

Why are big jackpot winners who go public always fat fuckers? I'm sure theres a correlation between weight and luck crossed with the stupidity to go public with something like that. Why go public anyway? All they will get is friends coming out of the woodwork and begging letters anyway. Still at least they can have that extra ginsters pie.

 

I believe you get more of the money upfront as an incentive, opposed to something like £2m a year for the rest of your life.

[Unrighteous]

Fatty is not a hate crime. Fucking hell.

[Acid]

I believe you get more of the money upfront as an incentive, opposed to something like £2m a year for the rest of your life.

 

What?? I can't be the only one who thought it all just got dumped in your bank account at once.

 

Robbin bastards

[lifetime fan]

I thought the beeb didn't show adverts?

 

I can't turn the telly on at the moment without seeing some pig ugly fat slag in a white wedding dress coming back.

[md1892]

What?? I can't be the only one who thought it all just got dumped in your bank account at once.

 

Robbin bastards

 

You still get a decent chunk upfront anyway, wih the remaining say 40% over the rest of your days. Otherwise no fucker in their right mind would go public. I know the yanks do it it that way, but that's due to tax purposes.

[Captain Turdseye]

Those lucky bastards that won the £148 come from a little town called Haverhill, Suffolk. I'm moving there tomorrow, you just know that it'll never be won in that town again so my chances have gone.

 

He might survive a bit longer than we think though because their Sainsburys doesn't sell Hollands pies. And there's no Sayers either. Stuck in the fucking stone age.

[Guest davelfc]

You learn something every day, I didn't know Greggs sold lottery tickets.

[Harry Squatter]

Stag/holiday parties that have things like 'Ibiza 2012 tour' and their own personalised nicknames on the back. Can't you fucking dress yourselves you cuntspacking wankers? You need people to know you're a laugh and up for anything despite looking like you still live with your Ma and you're close to hitting your 30's? I would have absolutely no issue with knocking each and every one of you out using a baseball bat. I despise anything and anyone to do with that type of shite and if I was invited to attend one I'd tell the organiser to fuck the cunting off, as it'll be shit and people will fucking hate you for looking like knobheads.

 

Oh and while I'm on it, lads who look like they've spent more time in front of the mirror than a bird. Plucked eyebrows, blow dry hair and a face I couldn't tire of kicking.

 

Saw a load of these twats at Manchester airport in July. Everyone had to use the same check in desk so me and my family got stuck in the same queue as a load of twats going to Ayia napa. All had the same polo shirt on with gay names on the back such as 'The Sperminator' 'The Cheeky Fella' and 'The Mad Bastard' all constantly shouting about how many birds they would smash and whether they could shag an air hostess. All were thick ugly wooly backs who probably wanked themselves to sleep every night. Cringeworthy.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Loads of boring fucking cunts tend to win it as well.

 

'I might get the caravan a bit more'

 

Fucking cunts

 

Winds me right up that "I'm going to get alloys for my punto and buy a 2up2down"

 

Fuck that. If I won an obscene amount of money the first thing I'd do is buy 2 Asimo robots, gaffertape stunguns to their hands and make them go toe-to-toe The winner would then get the honour of going to my gold plated fridge to get me a Fucking beer

[Harry Squatter]

Richard Fucking Branson, moaning today about losing the west coast train line franchise. You have been ripping people off for years you bearded cunt and forcing them to use the fate that is worse than death - National Express to London. It cost £327 in April for me to go to a meeting in London standard class, I saw a flight from Manchester to New York for a tenner less. People have been forced to stand on these trains despite paying to whack for a ticket, imagine paying 250 quid for a flight somewhere and standing by the bogs the whole flight?. Fuck you, you robbing twat. Virgin also hiked up prices for the Olympics and tried to ram as many people onto their trains as possible. No doubt the company taking over will be as expensive and as useless as yours as you raised the bar for shitness and ripping people off which is now seen as normal service.

[Acid]

I know right? I was in London recently for the day because my boss was in Italy living it up in her villa, so I had to go and do some measuring around a shitty nightclub. Not the job I signed up for. Anyway I finished the job in time for my train back to Liverpool but I needed to get a taxi back to make it to Euston in time. No problems there, Im walking through Euston at 14:38, train at 14:40, 50m from the platform, 2 minutes in time. No rush. I get to the gate and the fella who clearly hates his job looks at my ticket and says 'No you've missed it. Get the next one' What? The next one? You've just looked at my ticket mate, I can't get the next one. I didn't say this to him, I just looked over his shoulder, saw the train still at the station, people getting on, guy with whistle in hand looking right at me. I told him the doors are still open and the whistle hasn't gone yet. He didn't turn around, just said I'd missed it and to get the next one.

 

So I wander round to the virgin desk and have a word with the fella. He says my ticket is only valid for off peak journeys and I'd have to wait til 7pm til I could get on a train back. I asked him how much a ticket would be on the next one going to Lime Street and he says £138. Who in their right mind would pay that much money? I told him I could pay for petrol for 3 cars to carry myself my bag and my hat to Liverpool for that much money. He said 'I take it you don't want the ticket then?' I just walked off... Fuckin London.

[Tom R]

The Dark Overlords of Black Pepper.

 

Not heardof them?

Yes you have!

 

How come when i go out for an expensive meal out with my bummee we have to be asked if we want black pepper? Almost under the breath, after the order, like it's some seedy, under the counter, badass anal sex shit?

 

And then, like some bizarre piece of fucked up theatre they then have to bring it out to you in some weird, cartoon, oversized fucking chess piece that's about 3 foot long.

 

You then have to play this weird fucking game of pointing at the bit of food you want the precious fucking pepper on and establish a strange unspoken body language that says "Hold! For I have had enough of your precious black pepper, Oh Great Keeper of the Sacred Pepper in the Massive Chess Piece"!

 

Tell you what, Dark Pepper Lords, I've just spent 20 quid on this fucking steak, leave the fucking pepper on my table and fuck off.

 

cunts.

[Baltar]

Not a rant so much but just want to put it out there how much I hate supermarket trolley thieves. Load their trolley up and then walk it all the way to their home and then dump it. If it was up to me people guilty of this would face an automatic jail sentence. And if we were in China, the firing squad.

[Harry Squatter]

Grown men using text speak or displaying appalling spelling whilst on Facebook or email. You're not 14 texting each other, you are grown men who either think This way of writing is trendy and makes you look young or you are a stupid thick twat who never learnt to spell or construct a sentence in plain English.

[melons]

Grown men using text speak or displaying appalling spelling whilst on Facebook or email. You're not 14 texting each other, you are grown men who either think This way of writing is trendy and makes you look young or you are a stupid thick twat who never learnt to spell or construct a sentence in plain English.

 

It's not even acceptable on a text, I've given my number out to someone who i thought, yeah I'd see that man again, only for him to text with two of the worst crimes to become acceptable in every day use (for me anyway) that is using generic terms of endearment for someone you're supposed to be chatting up, such as hun or babe. The second being bastardising the English language, I know my spelling is uber shit. I'm a massive dyslexic spaccer but if i can get it almost right with all the tricks available surely a 45 year old business man can.

 

 

 

 

Whilst here, what is it with men using the term babe or hun, is it because you can't remember our name?

[Uncle_Meat]

It's not even acceptable on a text, I've given my number out to someone who i thought, yeah I'd see that man again, only for him to text with two of the worst crimes to become acceptable in every day use (for me anyway) that is using generic terms of endearment for someone you're supposed to be chatting up, such as hun or babe. The second being bastardising the English language, I know my spelling is uber shit. I'm a massive dyslexic spaccer but if i can get it almost right with all the tricks available surely a 45 year old business man can.

 

 

 

 

Whilst here, what is it with men using the term babe or hun, is it because you can't remember our name?

 

 

Yep. Also makes things easy for that generic "needy hosebeast" type who we all have to deal with now and again.

 

You can keep a couple of "Yep, I'm ok hun" "Yep, busy with work hun" "No thanks hun, I'm staying in to wash my hair and stroke the cat" type messages saved on your phone for sending out when they incessantly text you every hour of the fucking day and then get a right gob on when you don't reply within 25 seconds.

[Fowlers God]

It's not even acceptable on a text, I've given my number out to someone who i thought, yeah I'd see that man again, only for him to text with two of the worst crimes to become acceptable in every day use (for me anyway) that is using generic terms of endearment for someone you're supposed to be chatting up, such as hun or babe. The second being bastardising the English language, I know my spelling is uber shit. I'm a massive dyslexic spaccer but if i can get it almost right with all the tricks available surely a 45 year old business man can.

 

 

 

 

Whilst here, what is it with men using the term babe or hun, is it because you can't remember our name?

 

 

My darling Shezza.

 

You are obviously barking up the wrong age catagories. (ignoring my certificate of marriage, that is only 4 weeks old) Why do you not let, someone of equal spelling and gramatical spaccer entice you into glorifying the B-E-Autiful (as you yourself are) English Language together?

[RedKnight]

 

 

 

Whilst here, what is it with men using the term babe or hun, is it because you can't remember our name?

 

Never ever done that. Nor have I used the term darling or love either when talking to a woman. I hate it.

[melons]

Yep. Also makes things easy for that generic "needy hosebeast" type who we all have to deal with now and again.

 

You can keep a couple of "Yep, I'm ok hun" "Yep, busy with work hun" "No thanks hun, I'm staying in to wash my hair and stroke the cat" type messages saved on your phone for sending out when they incessantly text you every hour of the fucking day and then get a right gob on when you don't reply within 25 seconds.

 

Haha, you need to move more rural again so you've a crapper signal.

 

 

 

My darling Shezza.

 

You are obviously barking up the wrong age catagories. (ignoring my certificate of marriage, that is only 4 weeks old) Why do you not let, someone of equal spelling and gramatical spaccer entice you into glorifying the B-E-Autiful (as you yourself are) English Language together?

 

Sack that, I have to have someone a bit thicker then me to make me feel superior!

 

 

 

Never ever done that. Nor have I used the term darling or love either when talking to a woman. I hate it.

 

 

I can tolerate the term love if i've been dating them for a while, darling is a full on no though. They just sound really patronising as though someone is speaking to a child or pet.