Have a rant thread

[Champ]

And I have mentioned this before but I will have to say it again

 

Fucking idiots who bumble through life and fuck everything up, even the most simplest of tasks like turning up on time and people excuse it with 'you know what they are like'

 

Winds me up like nothing else

 

 

Fucking O2

 

This is the second time my phone has just died on me and with what looks like the same fault

 

The dozy fuckers only gave me the wrong address to send it back to and now they are searching for it

 

Fortunately I have this backed up by email

 

 

People who drive like fucking retards because of a bit of drizzle

 

Or pull away from the lights so slow, it stops the rest of us getting through the lights on that cycle

 

Fucks me off like nothing else

 

Not having a great day,  so far, Mark?

[stevebaby]

I've sharpened the war ax. It's concealed under my jacket. The next time I have to hear some cunt's shit music in the library, I'm going to blood eagle him over the returns desk.

[Liverpool lad]

Going okay

 

Having a quiet one as I am shattered, got some stuff to do around the house but just thought I would get those out there

 

I can see the neighbours mowing the grass and doing shit but I cannot get motivated at all here

[Champ]

 

I can see the neighbours mowing the grass and doing shit but I cannot get motivated at all here

 

Hark at you, Mr Suburbia

[Trumo]

Not having a great day,  so far, Mark?

 

Pretty well summed up I think.

[Liverpool lad]

A day of watching sport and doing fuck all awaits.

 

Might do a job on the car I have been thinking of doing for a while

[Champ]

A day of watching sport and doing fuck all awaits.

 

Might do a job on the car I have been thinking of doing for a while

 

I love a day of doing fuck all. One of my favourite kind of days

[Liverpool lad]

Add to that people who cannot manage their own finances

 

I understand that we are living in times of austerity but fuck me some people are fucking dense

 

I am talking about people with jobs and live at home with their parents.  I know people who don't even have cars to run, give their parents sub 200 quid a month and are in silly amounts of debt.

[Liverpool lad]

People who cannot give you straight answers

 

'Have you done what I asked?'

 

'Well '

[VladimirIlyich]

What the fuck is it with people driving at least 5mph slower than the fucking speed limit? It seems like every bastard's doing it. The amount of times I get stuck behind some bellend doing 30 in a 40 is unbelievable. What the fuck is wrong with these cunts?

People whose basic Maths skills need sharpening up a bit.

[VladimirIlyich]

I have said this before but nothing fucks me off more than other people making plans for your time

 

I have two weddings this year, two couples that my girlfriend knows and I have spent about 4 hours with one couple and wouldn't know the other couple if they walked past me

 

Both of these weddings follow the usual protocol for weddings - in the fucking middle of nowhere and a twat to get to.

 

Why can't I just enjoy a good book and relax that weekend? The money side of it doesn't bother me it is the ballache of getting there, making small talk with mongs you don't know, wasting your weekend then driving home feeling like shit.

Have you been Gelded Mark?

[Liverpool lad]

Managed to swerve one wedding today

 

Also regret googling gelding

[Magic Sponge]

People who openly express their emotions on an internet forum, yet come across as quite guarded and defensive in the real world.

[Rico1304]

Cheats. We played cricket yesterday and one of the umpires pulled a muscle so couldn't do the 2nd innings. We were fielding so the opposition provided the square leg umpire. After about 10 overs their best batsmen gets stumped, it wasn't even close but the cheating cunt at square leg didn't give it. That then means the rest of the game is played in a really poor spirit.

 

I told the bloke it's the 3rd division of the Derbyshire and Cheshire League so if winning means that much to him he mustn't have much else going on in his life. The batsmen got about 40 before being given out caught behind off his pad but he'd done enough damage by then. To make it worse the cheat came and found me in the bat afterward and tried to justify it. I had to leave.

[Hand Shandy]

How the fuck does a cricket umpire pull a muscle?

[Rico1304]

He was about 107, it wouldn't surprise me if it finished him off.

[Lee909]

Wait till wintee and throw a cricket ball tbrough his window. With gas prices that'll teach him

[Rico1304]

Good thinking !

 

To give you an idea of the average age of our umpires...

 

http://www.cheshirecricketboard.co.uk/Charlie%20Fenton.html

[Carvalho Diablo]

People who openly express their emotions on an internet forum, yet come across as quite guarded and defensive in the real world.

 

Spongey in classic "Josef Fritzel diversionary tactic" shocker.

[Carvalho Diablo]

How the fuck does a cricket umpire pull a muscle?

 

I'm sure Alan Sex will be along in a minute with a suitably inappropriate NSFW gif to explain.

[Furmedge]

What the fuck is it with people driving at least 5mph slower than the fucking speed limit? It seems like every bastard's doing it. The amount of times I get stuck behind some bellend doing 30 in a 40 is unbelievable. What the fuck is wrong with these cunts?

That may have been me but I did have my one day old daughter in the back of the car. Think Knocked Up at the end, but in slow mo.

 

What gets on my nerves is people sitting about an inch from my bumper, regardless if you're going faster than the limit or not. Last night as I say I was driving with my daughter, 2 year old son and my wife who was wincing at every bump in the road after her c-section. I live down some winding, farm like roads which have seen better days, and I'm going about 25mph in the worst zones so as not to hit a big bump and put my wife in further pain. Some wanker is right behind me and you can see him grimacing. When we hit speed bumps he's gesturing because I'm taking them around 10mph. He can't overtake me because the roads are tight and winding. My wife notices me getting a shit on with this prick and she turns to me and just says, "Don't!" I was seconds from stopping the car and getting out to confront him which wouldn't have been wise.

 

Moral of the story is if you want to be somewhere by a certain time, fucking leave the house earlier.

[Champ]

That may have been me but I did have my one day old daughter in the back of the car. Think Knocked Up at the end, but in slow mo.

 

What gets on my nerves is people sitting about an inch from my bumper, regardless if you're going faster than the limit or not. Last night as I say I was driving with my daughter, 2 year old son and my wife who was wincing at every bump in the road after her c-section. I live down some winding, farm like roads which have seen better days, and I'm going about 25mph in the worst zones so as not to hit a big bump and put my wife in further pain. Some wanker is right behind me and you can see him grimacing. When we hit speed bumps he's gesturing because I'm taking them around 10mph. He can't overtake me because the roads are tight and winding. My wife notices me getting a shit on with this prick and she turns to me and just says, "Don't!" I was seconds from stopping the car and getting out to confront him which wouldn't have been wise.

 

Moral of the story is if you want to be somewhere by a certain time, fucking leave the house earlier.

 

Congratulations on your new/latest addition, Furmedge

[Bjornebye]

That may have been me but I did have my one day old daughter in the back of the car. Think Knocked Up at the end, but in slow mo.

 

What gets on my nerves is people sitting about an inch from my bumper, regardless if you're going faster than the limit or not. Last night as I say I was driving with my daughter, 2 year old son and my wife who was wincing at every bump in the road after her c-section. I live down some winding, farm like roads which have seen better days, and I'm going about 25mph in the worst zones so as not to hit a big bump and put my wife in further pain. Some wanker is right behind me and you can see him grimacing. When we hit speed bumps he's gesturing because I'm taking them around 10mph. He can't overtake me because the roads are tight and winding. My wife notices me getting a shit on with this prick and she turns to me and just says, "Don't!" I was seconds from stopping the car and getting out to confront him which wouldn't have been wise.

 

Moral of the story is if you want to be somewhere by a certain time, fucking leave the house earlier.

 

yep congratulations mate

 

also congratulations on your acid style bottling of a situation with a prick 

[Furmedge]

yep congratulations mate

 

also congratulations on your acid style bottling of a situation with a prick

To be fair I didn't fancy a night in the cells on my daughters first night home. I'll save that for the weekend, I'll need the kip by then.

 

Acid would have just acknowledged the other driver and waved him through.

[Anny Road]

Cheats. We played cricket yesterday and one of the umpires pulled a muscle so couldn't do the 2nd innings. We were fielding so the opposition provided the square leg umpire. After about 10 overs their best batsmen gets stumped, it wasn't even close but the cheating cunt at square leg didn't give it. That then means the rest of the game is played in a really poor spirit.

 

I told the bloke it's the 3rd division of the Derbyshire and Cheshire League so if winning means that much to him he mustn't have much else going on in his life. The batsmen got about 40 before being given out caught behind off his pad but he'd done enough damage by then. To make it worse the cheat came and found me in the bat afterward and tried to justify it. I had to leave.

You should have spat in his Pimms old chap.