What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Bob]

43 minutes ago, Trumo said:

I'm sure those sausages climbed out of the bathtub in The Shining. Half a tin of beans, and only 2 tiny and halved mushrooms. They saw you coming.

*They* was *me*.
 

I though we had more mushrooms so didn’t put them on the list when my missus walked to the co-op.

 

I like a chipolata, but honestly these were the thinnest I’ve ever seen and I did mock her myself when I saw them waiting to go on the grill pan.

 

The toast was magnificent - I’ve not idea what @YorkshireRed is on about.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

On 21/07/2022 at 11:05, Mook said:

Mushrooms are absolutely fucking rancid.

 

What next, athletes foot on a Sunday Roast?

Hey presto! Well done, you've just provided Carvalho with his next bucket meal idea.

[Bjornebye]

Milo Lounge - Lark Lane. 
 

Don’t fucking ask. 
 

 

[TheHowieLama]

I like how the fella put the eggs on life rafts as some deviant would have a sea of beans in the middle there. Not you of course. Just them.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Looks dry as arseholes without the beans, but decent enough if you added the majority's favourite breakfast item. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

12 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Milo Lounge - Lark Lane. 
 

Don’t fucking ask. 
 

 

You need that pint with that. I reckon eating that would be like eating a few of those silica gel desiccants you get in packaging.

 

What was the service like there?  If it's anything like the Brasco Lounge at Mann Island, you need to order your breakfast at teatime the night before.

[Carvalho Diablo]

17 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Milo Lounge - Lark Lane. 
 

Don’t fucking ask. 
 

 

No beans, no mushrooms, no chance.

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

You need that pint with that. I reckon eating that would be like eating a few of those silica gel desiccants you get in packaging.

 

What was the service like there?  If it's anything like the Brasco Lounge at Mann Island, you need to order your breakfast at teatime the night before.

Didn't take that long but empty heads if you know what I mean. It's Lark lane ffs. 

[Bjornebye]

4 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

I’ll rightly be hammered for the state of the eggs, but they tasted better than they looked and the rest was belting.

 

out Friday night for beers and curry with 5-a-side lads, then out again from 2pm til midnight yesterday.

 

this was absolutely essential today.

A key part of the divorce letter this. Forget the beans, it's the way she's gone to the effort to fry you two eggs then punch fuck out of them before serving you it. I don't know if it's revenge or a warning Bob. 

[Bob]

40 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

A key part of the divorce letter this. Forget the beans, it's the way she's gone to the effort to fry you two eggs then punch fuck out of them before serving you it. I don't know if it's revenge or a warning Bob. 

I cooked them. It was entirely my fault. She gets a full pass here.

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

I cooked them. It was entirely my fault. She gets a full pass here.

You've owned up to cooking that???? I feel like I'm watching 24 hours in custody here 

[Elite]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Milo Lounge - Lark Lane. 
 

Don’t fucking ask. 
 

 

Looks good that, lash a ladle full of beans in place of those two red ashtrays and it'd be glorious.

[YorkshireRed]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Milo Lounge - Lark Lane. 
 

Don’t fucking ask. 
 

 

I’ve been known to enjoy a pint of Stowford Press myself. 
 

The breakfast looks nice, obviously needs beans but I am aware you’re beyond help in that area so won’t bang that drum too loudly. 
 

Bacon is the MVP on that plate. 

[Bjornebye]

21 minutes ago, Elite said:

Looks good that, lash a ladle full of beans in place of those two red ashtrays and it'd be glorious.

 

12 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’ve been known to enjoy a pint of Stowford Press myself. 
 

The breakfast looks nice, obviously needs beans but I am aware you’re beyond help in that area so won’t bang that drum too loudly. 
 

Bacon is the MVP on that plate. 

School dwelling twats 

 

 

 

It was her idea. Apparently we don't do enough random things together so she nagged to take us for a 'brunch'. She had a vegan BLT. I've had about enough. 

[YorkshireRed]

32 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Apparently we don't do enough random things together

This way lies disaster. You need to put your foot down quick smart before she has you line dancing wearing dungarees. 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

This way lies disaster. You need to put your foot down quick smart before she has you line dancing wearing dungarees. 

Bit late for that mate. And that was my idea. 5,6,7,8 ma rootin tootin ba.......... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Fugitive]

I’ve got a delivery on the way!!!

 

Carlyles Cafe, make me a believer.

[Mudface]

3 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

I’ve got a delivery on the way!!!

 

Carlyles Cafe, make me a believer.

[Mook]

4 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

I’ve got a delivery on the way!!!

 

Carlyles Cafe, make me a believer.

What's that old saying about doing the same stupid shit over & over & expecting different results?

[Fugitive]

CUUUUUUUUUUUUUNTS

[Bjornebye]

On 21/07/2022 at 16:24, Simbo said:

You say that like it’s a bad thing.

 

[Fugitive]

That’s my fucking day ruined. The cunts put beans on it and I specifically requested none of the little twats be present on my breakfast.

 

Scottish fucking twats. 
 

 

[Bjornebye]

"I'll have the Rab C Nesbitt" I bet that's piss in that carton. 

[Fugitive]

I’m properly upset. The bastards deserve to be hung for this. It’s looks a fucking disaster anyway but the beans are fucking tipping me over the edge.

 

It’s now at the bottom of the bin where it belongs. Fucking bean juice all over it and totally inedible.

[Mudface]

16 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

That’s my fucking day ruined. The cunts put beans on it and I specifically requested none of the little twats be present on my breakfast.

 

Scottish fucking twats. 
 

 

Good Christ. Even if you hate beans, at least they'd mask the taste of the rest of the shite they've thrown in there.

 

Edit- I like that they've run a blow torch over the raw sausage at the top there, it's the little things that make all the difference.