What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[an tha]

1 hour ago, Trumo said:

 

Beans.

Beans would improve on them

[Curly]

One of the worst breakfasts I’ve ever had. It can fuck off

[YorkshireRed]

4 minutes ago, belarus said:

One of the worst breakfasts I’ve ever had. It can fuck off

The mushrooms look ok and I’m neutral over the hash brown. Everything else should be thrown in the nonces wing of breakfast prison and the plate frisbeed into the chops of whoever cooked it. 

[Curly]

2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

The mushrooms look ok and I’m neutral over the hash brown. Everything else should be thrown in the nonces wing of breakfast prison and the plate frisbeed into the chops of whoever cooked it. 

The mushrooms were the worst bit, and that takes some doing with how bad it all was. They were watery and stone cold. I’m honestly fucking fuming. I was dead excited for it too. Had a skinful last night, was buzzing for this and it was fucking shite

[Trumo]

Looks like maybe one or two beans made a successful run for it.

[YorkshireRed]

5 minutes ago, belarus said:

The mushrooms were the worst bit, and that takes some doing with how bad it all was. They were watery and stone cold. I’m honestly fucking fuming. I was dead excited for it too. Had a skinful last night, was buzzing for this and it was fucking shite

Given the circumstances, no jury in the land would convict you if you now cook and eat the person who made it. They brought it on themselves, plus a man has to eat. 

[Remmie]

37 minutes ago, belarus said:

One of the worst breakfasts I’ve ever had. It can fuck off

What's in the bowl? 

 

Did you get any toast? Tea? 

[Trumo]

3 minutes ago, Remmie said:

What's in the bowl?

 

Fruit. Tinned obviously.

[Stouffer]

Just now, Trumo said:

 

Fruit. Tinned obviously.

It's pineapple; he's putting pineapple on his breakfast.

[Curly]

25 minutes ago, Remmie said:

What's in the bowl? 

 

Did you get any toast? Tea? 

Fruit.

 

Yes.

 

Yes.

[TheHowieLama]

I do like the fact that you appear to have a bacon shark cruising the slimy waters between the beans and the erm, scrambled egg.

 

Bacon Shark do doo do doo do doo

[Curly]

2 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

I do like the fact that you appear to have a bacon shark cruising the slimy waters between the beans and the erm, scrambled egg.

 

Bacon Shark do doo do doo do doo

Hahaha - that fucking tune haunts me with having an 18 month old!

 

Honestly not sure I’ll ever get over that this morning. 2.5 hour drive home and I’m still gutted. I was well excited for it and it looked great on the plate and it was horrible. Cold mushrooms, dry cold scrambled egg, a solid mass of turd was the sausage - weird consistency to it, the bacon was rolled up together, so the bits on the outside were cooked, but the piece wrapped into the middle wasn’t cooked. The black pudding was dried out to fuck. The beans, egg and hash brown were ok, but you can’t get them wrong and they are merely supporting cast members anyway. I need something phenomenal for tea to get over it. Might do a roast if I can muster the energy with this hangover. Cunts

[Bjornebye]

Do you know what, if you take the nonce tokens off that it looks a decent hangover cure. I also like the fact whoever cooked it punched fuck out of it before they served you it. 

[Curly]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Do you know what, if you take the nonce tokens off that it looks a decent hangover cure. I also like the fact whoever cooked it punched fuck out of it before they served you it. 

Agreed - it looks amazing. It made the disappointment even harder to take

 

[Bjornebye]

5 hours ago, belarus said:

Agreed - it looks amazing. It made the disappointment even harder to take

 

A hot bath, a Seal album, a few candles and as Turdseye would suggest... two fingers gently slid up the bottom and you'll be fine. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

My kind of place.

 

[Curly]

1 hour ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

My kind of place.

 

Haha.

 

All joking aside, if that’s the marketing picture, imagine the horror presented to you if you went and bought one in person. Jesus.

 

”Chuck me the kitchen roll will you?”

”Why? Have you spilt something?”

”No, no. I just want to remove any moisture from these beans before I serve them”

[Paulie Dangerously]

On 08/08/2021 at 11:11, Remmie said:

What's in the bowl? 

 

Did you get any toast? Tea? 

Can't you see what he's done? He's legalised tinned fruit on a breakfast. 

[Curly]

1 minute ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Can't you see what he's done? He's legalised tinned fruit on a breakfast. 

Hahaha. Cards on the table - the fruit wasn’t mine, it was mrs bela’s. And she only ate the grapes off it. Wasteful

[Bob]

Up in Spean Bridge for 4 nights for my other half’s birthday, and some walking in the highlands.

 

after a journey up from Yorkshire that lasted for 11 hours in total, we grabbed some essentials from Morrison’s including this wonderful Simon Howie Big Breakfast Pack.

 

gotta say, had low expectations and they were so wrong.

 

 

[tokyojoe]

Just about to cook myself one prior to a certain sporting event.

 

Bangers, bacon, fried bread, fried mushrooms, fried egg.

 

And no fucking beans!!!!

[Bruce Spanner]

I really do prefer Lorne Sausages to regular.

[Barrington Womble]

I went back to ddk in pimlico this week. The choice of 1 sausage was mine - the breakfast comes with one of stuff and you top it up. 12 quid including tea. There was pretty much nothing wrong with it at all, I couldn't find anything I'd have changed really, except the white pudding was small, so I might have doubled that. All good quality food, all well cooked. And for you weird non-beaners, the beans are in a pot. I don't think I can ever give anything a 10 as the search for the perfect cooked breakfast would be over. But this is as good as I've had in a long enough time I can't recall a better one. And for that part of the world, pretty good value. 

 

 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

Great to see tomatoes treated with the respect they deserve, shown on Bob and Barry's breakfast photos.

[Elite]

We should end this thread now, back to back great looking breakfasts. Some cunt will post something obscene soon and ruin the whole positive vibe.