Getting a mouth party during cricket week

[Red Banjo]

Am i right in thinking that getting a gobble when the missus has got the painters in should be a minimum expectation?

 

After getting out the shower last night, she walked past me displaying some cracking cleavage which got my loins stirring - so i proceeded to follow her into the kitchen and presented her with a swolen member which initially she helped me out with by having a bit of a nosh on.

 

However, the party was brought to an abrupt end just as things were getting interesting when she piped up with "well we cant do anything else, so there's no point carrying on". Natuarally my response of "well i'll just do you up the wrong 'un" was shot down immediately and that was the end of the evenings carnal activity.

 

Just because the sausage wallet is out of action for a few days, should we both have to suffer? Am i being selfish or is she? Anyone else suffer this same terrible affliction? Tonight is the 3rd of rag week and i could really do with a release. Preferably all over her bangers. Or face. Im not bothered which as im an easy going kind of guy.

[Trumo]

I learned a new term called "Rainbow Kiss" yesterday. Not my cup of tea but if you don't mind a little Dulux Emulsion on your grid, your missus should be most agreeable. Her wrong'un might yet accept a visit from your sausage in a wallet.

[dirty_sanchez]

Sadly it's not our god given right, but it probably should be. It's a bit selfish for a woman to go "well I can't get my jollies, so you can't". That said, women probably don't feel that great when they're bleeding, aching and feeling bloated.

[Trumo]

Sadly it's not our god given right, but it probably should be. It's a bit selfish for a woman to go "well I can't get my jollies, so you can't". That said, women probably don't feel that great when they're bleeding, aching and feeling bloated.

 

 

[Section_31]

Someoen should invent a metabolic accelerator to speed the whole pointless process up so being on the blob only lasts 30 minutes. They'd lose a quarter of their lifespan but that's just the way it is.

 

[Elite]

Have a wank. Or save yourself until she is able to let you have a bash in her gash, then you will explode like a hydrant.

[Red Banjo]

Sadly it's not our god given right, but it probably should be. It's a bit selfish for a woman to go "well I can't get my jollies, so you can't". That said, women probably don't feel that great when they're bleeding, aching and feeling bloated.

 

Luckily its not a condition we'll ever have to experience - unless you happen to wander into a field full of horses during 'season'

 

However i've been with birds who reckon they get extra horny during blob time - obviously everyone's different tho. Much to my frustration

[Section_31]

Luckily its not a condition we'll ever have to experience - unless you happen to wander into a field full of horses during 'season'

 

However i've been with birds who reckon they get extra horny during blob time - obviously everyone's different tho. Much to my frustration

 

True, I've got my red wings, was extra safe obviously. Hot dog and tomato sauce.

[Simbo]

Someone I used to know claimed to have sucked his GFs used tampon!

 

He said it tasted Zinc-y.....like a zip.

 

Anyway Im sure you'll be pleased to hear my missus gets uber-horny during her period. She wont have me touching her down there though so she literally sucks the life out of me. She's like a woman possessed.

 

Now back to your dilemma....the most concerning part for me is the fact your bird started and then didnt finish the job. Thats just cruel.

[Nomad]

Someone I used to know claimed to have sucked his GFs used tampon!

 

He said it tasted Zinc-y.....like a zip.

 

Anyway Im sure you'll be pleased to hear my missus gets uber-horny during her period. She wont have me touching her down there though so she literally sucks the life out of me. She's like a woman possessed.

 

Now back to your dilemma....the most concerning part for me is the fact your bird started and then didnt finish the job. Thats just cruel.

 

Haha thats quality

[Juniper]

I think a divorce is the only option.

[Scott_M]

I learned a new term called "Rainbow Kiss" yesterday.

 

Was it after my post about a bearded spaniard on the F*?

 

Anyhoo, Red Banjo did you shoot your baby gravy over her? If she started, she should have the decency to finish what she's started, she'd moan if you started some putting up some cupboards or building a patio and then abandoned it mid job.

[hamstrung]

You should have gone away, done your thing, and flicked at her like the prisoner at Jodie Foster in Silence of the Lambs.

[Scott_M]

You should have gone away, done your thing, and flicked at her like the prisoner at Jodie Foster in Silence of the Lambs.

 

I like to call this the 'Spider-man Technique'.

[WaltonRed]

I've got my red wings, nowt stops me.

 

Its only blood.

[TonyTNT]

Oh my heart bleeds...try having a nine month old baby....it's like pussy Area 51 in my house..It doesn't exist and I certainly don't get a day pass.....

[Trumo]

Oh my heart bleeds...try having a nine month old baby....it's like pussy Area 51 in my house..It doesn't exist and I certainly don't get a day pass.....

 

You know it's there, but your missus denies all knowledge of it's existence.

[Guest ShoePiss]

never heard it called cricket week before, got the painters in, Liverpool are at home are familiar but not this one....go on, explain it to me.

[Juniper]

never heard it called cricket week before, got the painters in, Liverpool are at home are familiar but not this one....go on, explain it to me.

 

Cause the only way to make love to her is while she sleeps? And if you try and try and smash her wicket too hard you might get caught out?

 

Howzaaaaaat?!?

[Trumo]

Is it called cricket week because the painters could be in for up to 5 days, at the end of which there will only be bitterness and recrimination?

 

And it could be over a year before you get to go Down Under, where it will undoubtedly be hot, sweaty and more than a little bit brash?

 

Or did she take out your middle stump just as you were settling in for a long innings?

[Paulie Dangerously]

My bird usually obliges with a gob job, that failing gives me one off the wrist whilst talking dirty to me. But then I am a charming motherfucker