Strange Dreams

[Section_31]

Had a nightmare last night that I was on the run from Forest Whitaker.

 

I kept moving from house to house and hiding in Friends' gardens and bedrooms, but then I'd hear him nocking on the front door and asking politely if i was there - before fucking off.

 

He came really close to nabbing me a couple of times and I could see the whites of his eyes while i was in undergrowth in the back garden, and I actually woke up with a pillow soaked in sweat, it was scary shit.

 

 

I had another baffling dream on holiday.

 

I was watching a Sky News interview with Gordon Brown and some random bird, he was talking in a busy London street, when out of the blue came a mime artist.

 

The mime artist was messing around in the background, and Brown pretended to hit him as if to say 'ha look at me messing around with this young scamp'

 

At which point the mime artist propper chinned brown and knocked him out.

 

A crowd gathered around Brown and he started freaking out, having some kind of fit on the floor with his legs going everywhere.

 

All the while the presenters in the studio were going 'Oh my god the prime minister is in serious trouble here.'

 

While I'm watching this the Mime artist is still fucking around in the picture while its all going off behind him, and is eventually joined by other mime artists who start copying him.

 

I remember doing my nut while watching the screen and shouting 'where's his fuckin bodyguards - this wouldn't happen in America!'

 

Can anyone do any stranger than them?

[Spy Bee]

I had a dream that I was growing toes on the end of my toes the night before last. I was extremely concerned about being horrendously disfigured until someone explained to me that they were just spares, so that if I lost a toe, I could just replace it with one of the newly grown ones. This was of great relief to me.

[Duff Man]

I had a weird dream last night. I was starring in a CokaCola advert and Jack Nicholson was my acting teacher.

 

But then me and Jack had an arguement about Rolando Bianchi of Man City fame and fell out quite badly. So I quit his class and got dropped from the CokaCola advert because the director of said advert was Jack's old high-school friend.

 

Not got a clue what any of it means but it was nice to meet Jack Nicholson

[Sut]

I once had a dream that Michael Flatley (sp?) was attempting to riverdance on my face. He kept referring to me as "Cuz" as well, until my brother hit him on the back of the head with a shovel.

[kopitegaz]

Had a nightmare last night that I was on the run from Forest Whitaker.

 

I kept moving from house to house and hiding in Friends' gardens and bedrooms, but then I'd hear him nocking on the front door and asking politely if i was there - before fucking off.

 

He came really close to nabbing me a couple of times and I could see the whites of his eyes while i was in undergrowth in the back garden, and I actually woke up with a pillow soaked in sweat, it was scary shit.

 

 

I had another baffling dream on holiday.

 

I was watching a Sky News interview with Gordon Brown and some random bird, he was talking in a busy London street, when out of the blue came a mime artist.

 

The mime artist was messing around in the background, and Brown pretended to hit him as if to say 'ha look at me messing around with this young scamp'

 

At which point the mime artist propper chinned brown and knocked him out.

 

A crowd gathered around Brown and he started freaking out, having some kind of fit on the floor with his legs going everywhere.

 

All the while the presenters in the studio were going 'Oh my god the prime minister is in serious trouble here.'

 

While I'm watching this the Mime artist is still fucking around in the picture while its all going off behind him, and is eventually joined by other mime artists who start copying him.

 

I remember doing my nut while watching the screen and shouting 'where's his fuckin bodyguards - this wouldn't happen in America!'

 

Can anyone do any stranger than them?

 

In the first dream, you are Vic Mackey

In the second, the mime artist could have been one of the penguins goons from Batman Returns.

[Bloodred]

My brother once had this drema where he was knocking at a friends house. As he got to the front door this little jack Russel comes running at him and proceeds to start tugging at his trouser leg.

 

He kicks the dog away, it rolls over and says " Liverpool 3 - West Ham 1". The dog goes for his trousers again and when kicked again says "Birmingham 2 - West Brom nil" this continued until it reeled off the whole scores from the weekend.

 

Funny shit that.

[robbief]

My brother once had this drema where he was knocking at a friends house. As he got to the front door this little jack Russel comes running at him and proceeds to start tugging at his trouser leg.

 

He kicks the dog away, it rolls over and says " Liverpool 3 - West Ham 1". The dog goes for his trousers again and when kicked again says "Birmingham 2 - West Brom nil" this continued until it reeled off the whole scores from the weekend.

 

Funny shit that.

 

was it befor the games had been played? could of been a very rich man!

 

i had one last week of a man trying to get in our front door so i grabbed my gun and bat and ran for the door, as i get to the top of the stairs i went to step down but got lifted back to the top. i looked down to find that my stairs had been replaced with an upward escalator which was stopping me from getting the man.

i think its strange how all this weirdness seems to make sence while your actually having the dream.

[Bloodred]

We where kids at the time so dont think it really mattered, but it always makes me laugh cos we used to walk past the dog on our way to school every day.

[Elmyn Noos]

I had a dream once that I boinked Anne Robinson on a rug in front of an open fire in a log cabin. It was in her Points of View days *he says like that is even a lame defence*.

 

In fairness, she was ace enough for dream and reality to crash together before I woke up, if you know wadda mean.

[RJ Fan club]

I don't remember my dreams too often.

 

Perhaps the strangest was the dream where David Batty had to baptise me before I was allowed to get on a plane. I was going to Melton Mowbray for reasons unknown.

[aws]

I had a dream once that I boinked Anne Robinson on a rug in front of an open fire in a log cabin. It was in her Points of View days *he says like that is even a lame defence*.

 

In fairness, she was ace enough for dream and reality to crash together before I woke up, if you know wadda mean.

 

When you showed her your todger did she give you a lop-sided smile and wink.

[Paul]

When you showed her your todger did she give you a lop-sided smile and wink.

 

A brief glimpse into the sexual fantasies of Aws.

[Malarkey]

I had a dream once that i was in a weird place with a purple sky with frog clouds. Chris Tarrant was there throwing stones at a greenhouse so i went to take a look inside. I walked in and there was cows in the greenhouses with Lincoln Town badges on their heads and guns. They started chasing after me when i ended up at some weird concert singing and rocking hard. After i rocked hard i was getting chased again by the same cows but in a taxi. I then ended up on a pirate ship with some hot chick (smoking body though, couldnt really see her face.) and i was running around the ship getting chased still. One fucked up dream.

 

Had the same dream a couple of nights later and haven't had it since. Scary shit.

[Neil G]

I dreamed a few months ago that I was trying to fly a C-130 Hercules with a golden labrador as my co-pilot. We never got off the ground.

[Spy Bee]

I dreamed a few months ago that I was trying to fly a C-130 Hercules with a golden labrador as my co-pilot. We never got off the ground.

 

Was the labrador pissed off with you?

[Karl_b]

I rarely remember dreams, never have done. I sometimes have thoughts about work that cause me to wake up in the middle of the night and grab the pad I keep next to my bed to make notes and sketch on, but that's about it.

 

The weirdest dream I remember is from when I was a child. It was a recurring dream in which I would go round to my Auntie's house where I would be set upon by the Honey Monster (he of Sugar Puffs evil). I would hide behind the chair in her front room then run out the door whilst he searched upstairs for me. As I got to the street, he would come tearing out the house but couldn't match me for speed. It all looked good until I saw the monsters from Monster Munch packets coming at me the other way.

 

Bizarre.

[Neil G]

Was the labrador pissed off with you?

 

He was when I tried to get him out of the cockpit on the grounds that he was a dog and therefore couldn't fly an aircraft. He really wanted to fly that plane, when I saw this I let him back in and his mood improved considerably.

[RedKnight]

was it befor the games had been played? could of been a very rich man!

 

i had one last week of a man trying to get in our front door so i grabbed my gun and bat and ran for the door, as i get to the top of the stairs i went to step down but got lifted back to the top. i looked down to find that my stairs had been replaced with an upward escalator which was stopping me from getting the man.

i think its strange how all this weirdness seems to make sence while your actually having the dream.

 

Wait, wait, wait, wait...you don't actually own a gun do you?

[Section_31]

I rarely remember dreams, never have done. I sometimes have thoughts about work that cause me to wake up in the middle of the night and grab the pad I keep next to my bed to make notes and sketch on, but that's about it.

 

The weirdest dream I remember is from when I was a child. It was a recurring dream in which I would go round to my Auntie's house where I would be set upon by the Honey Monster (he of Sugar Puffs evil). I would hide behind the chair in her front room then run out the door whilst he searched upstairs for me. As I got to the street, he would come tearing out the house but couldn't match me for speed. It all looked good until I saw the monsters from Monster Munch packets coming at me the other way.

 

Bizarre.

 

 

Are your middle of the night insights any good? Whenever I've had ideas in the night and jotted them down, I've looked at them the next day to discover they were absolute nonesense, things like 'open a chicken farm and get a grant from the council'

[Stu Monty]

Some of these have made me howl with laughter.

[Dr.Filth]

I had one last week that I lived next door to Roy Keane's farm. He turned out to be a really nice fella and said I could take as much vegetables as I wanted. As we were feeding the sheep I saw something moving in one of his apple trees to which he cried "Quick! Grab a sword, it's those fucking baboons again!"

Turns out he lived next to Knowsley Safari Park and every now and then hordes of baboons would come and ravage his crops. Next thing me and Keano are chopping the fuck out of them like a couple of Ninjas, funny thing was the baboons all had suits of armour on but they were just knitted from wool so weren't any use whatsoever, the stupid twats.

I was gutted when I woke up and despite eating loads of cheese every night since, I just haven't been able to repeat it.:no

[Remmie]

I dreamt that Lewis Hamilton died in an accident in the Grand Prix when he and Alonso had a collision and as Hamilton got out the car there was an explosion that sent him flying. Everyone on the news was as devastated as when Diana died. I woke up still unsure if it had actually happened

[Fink]

I had a dream last week that david james was in goal for england, but he was moving along the goal line with his hands doing a sort of doing a front on sand man dance.

 

The weird bit was that he had a giant python around his neck that turned into a massive goal chain whenever he said "mark up".

[Harry Squatter]

I had one last week where I was getting chased by two office blocks in Prague, I hid in a building while the two office blocks weren't looking then Edwina Currie and her daughter tried to blag me into having a 3 some with them. At this point I woke up like Tim Robbins in Jacobs Ladder.

[robbief]

Wait, wait, wait, wait...you don't actually own a gun do you?

 

only an air rifle. not capable of killing although it gives a nasty hole. a lad shot another lad with it in a party, in the thigh it was and went in over 4 inches, hospital job like.