Stand up or Sit down wiper?

[Bjornebye]

I’m sure we had a poll on this a while back

 it I can’t find it. I used to be a stander upper until I discovered sitting down wiping is far more effective. 
 

However ….. not sure if this is a US thing or just Chicago but it’s playing havoc with me as a sit down wiper. I’ve had to stand up so I don’t get shitty hands. It’s not just the hotel it’s every bog i’ve seen here. @TheHowieLama is it the same in Florida? Do the three seashells not actually exist? 

[Elite]

Sitting. Can really get up your arse that way and get in there real deep.

[TheHowieLama]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

@TheHowieLama is it the same in Florida?

 

There is no bidet??

What is the name of this "4" star hovel they have you in?

[YorkshireRed]

Toilets in the USA are indeed a strange old game.
 

They seem have higher water levels than this side of the pond, thereby making what would be a perfectly reasonable routine in the UK a smidgen problematic when applied stateside.

 

I put it down as some form of toilet based power play, and have so far refused to let it beat me.

 

US Toilets 0 YR 1.

[Bjornebye]

32 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

 

There is no bidet??

What is the name of this "4" star hovel they have you in?

YMCA. May as well be. Stunning hotel but no, no bidet and challenging arse wiping. 

[Fugitive]

Stig wipes from back to front, the dirty cunt.

[Bjornebye]

31 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

Stig wipes from back to front, the dirty cunt.

At least I wipe you fucking tramp 

[Fugitive]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

At least I wipe you fucking tramp 

Fuck off, shitty bollocks.

[Creator Supreme]

We've reached peak GF here folks.

[Lee909]

Discussing toilets 

Reminds me of being on a train in India. On one side you had Indian toilets 

 

 

 

On the other a western toilet 

 

There's no water in the western toilet though water appears when you flush. There's no water as there's no bottom or pipes, it's just a hole in the train that empties onto the tracks

[VladimirIlyich]

44 minutes ago, Lee909 said:

Discussing toilets 

Reminds me of being on a train in India. On one side you had Indian toilets 

 

 

 

On the other a western toilet 

 

There's no water in the western toilet though water appears when you flush. There's no water as there's no bottom or pipes, it's just a hole in the train that empties onto the tracks

Delhi Belly must be fun on an Indian train journey. At least you now know why they all sit on the roof.

[John102]

Stand up. I like to survey the bowl first, unspoiled by bog roll.

[Fowlers God]

Stand up- My arse is too big to get a hand in there too. 

 

Fucking weirdo's

[Spy Bee]

The fact that stand up wipers exist, is almost as shocking as when I found out that some people face the shower.

[Jairzinho]

Interpol will be having a good look at this thread.

 

Adults standing up to wipe their arse? Fucking hell.

[Captain Turdseye]

I didn’t know Bjornebye was in Chicago. 

[Section_31]

How can you stand up without the butterly effect?

 

I hover with significant menace, like the Los Angeles mother ship from V.

[Pidge]

42 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

How can you stand up without the butterly effect?

 

I hover with significant menace, like the Los Angeles mother ship from V.

 

It's all about having a level of poise, awareness and coordination that sit down wipers can only dream of. 

 

And a foot on the side of the bath.

[Clem H Fandango]

5 hours ago, Spy Bee said:

The fact that stand up wipers exist, is almost as shocking as when I found out that some people face the shower.

 

Or that people shit in the shower and push it down the plughole with their toes.....so i've heard.

[Fugitive]

18 hours ago, Fowlers God said:

Stand up- My arse is too big to get a hand in there too. 

 

Fucking weirdo's

I don’t think your supposed to stick your hand in your arse when wiping.

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Fugitive said:

I don’t think your supposed to stick your hand in your arse when wiping.

What?!!!!! Nobody told me

[John102]

Without wanting to derail the thread, people face away from the shower????

[Clem H Fandango]

19 minutes ago, John102 said:

Without wanting to derail the thread, people face away from the shower????

Yes, otherwise it would feel like your face is being pissed/jizzed on.

[Section_31]

It's mad how we go through life thinking we're all the same but then realise everyone else if fucked up, shitting standing up, pissing sitting down, moonwalking in the shower, fucked up.

[Fugitive]

31 minutes ago, John102 said:

Without wanting to derail the thread, people face away from the shower????

I continuously rotate 360 degrees.