little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Bjornebye]

14 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Nah, I’ve always got the big light on. I sleep with it on.

You are a psychopath 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, No2 said:

I wasn't intending to insult Cheers or Mash. They're both harmless and enjoyable. Friends fans are all cunts, every last one of them.

I wouldnt say MASH was harmless given it was set in the Korean War and its storylines dealt with death and sadness a lot of the time. It was an absolute classic and up their with the greatest comedies of all time.

[Tony Moanero]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

You are a psychopath 

Thank you, kind sir.

[cloggypop]

6 hours ago, chrisbonnie said:

Funny shaped jars and yoghurt pots. 

 

I know I sound like a tight cunt, but you end leaving a few spoonfuls in the jars and the same with your yoghurt. 

 

Surely it's as easy to make them an easier dispensed shape than a more awkward one. 

You sound like a man in need of a flessenschraper

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bottle_scraper

[chrisbonnie]

7 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

You sound like a man in need of a flessenschraper

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bottle_scraper

every day sure is a school day, i never seen that in my life. 

[General Dryness]

7 hours ago, UnwelcomeinPeru said:

The needless dropping of personal pronouns. Why? What does it save?

When I tweet about this later I will be saying 'I just made an inconsequential and tedious post on TLW' NOT 'Just made an...etc.'

Just negged this.

7 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Just read this in the voice of Austin Powers. 

Just repped this.

[Captain Turdseye]

4 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

Nah, I’ve always got the big light on. I sleep with it on.

 

4 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

You are a psychopath 

I can picture Tony and his wife in their separate beds, him with his He-Man quilt cover on, sat up with the big light on eating M&M’s out of a bowl with a spoon and she’s just trying to get her head down. Is it any wonder his wife comes on here to neg people? 

[Captain Turdseye]

Turkish barber rant again. After the first one I talked about on here who shaved four months worth of hard earned pubic hair off my face and neck, I went to a different one the next time I got a haircut. They did an OK job, the beard looked fine but he also took a fair bit more off my chin than I wanted because, well, he barely understood English. £18 for a haircut and beard trim seems a bit steep but it is what it is. 
 

I went back today, explained loudly and clearly that I wanted the lines fixed but I want to keep it growing more on my chin so just a small tidy up on that part of my face would suffice. 
 

Against all odds, he understood what I said and cut my hair and trimmed the beard exactly as I wanted. Did the old burning the ear thing, did my eyebrows. Then he said what sounded like “Face mask wash?” to me a couple of times and seeing as I couldn’t understand what he was on about I shrugged my shoulders, told him I had no idea what he meant and asked what he thought. He then pointed at the price board up on the wall and said “It is same one” so I thought “fuck it” and told him OK. So he gave me a little face mask and then bent me over the sink (oh yeah) and washed my face. Job done. 
 

Get to the counter afterwards to pay the man and he pointed at the option on the board that said £30, which had a list of stuff, including things that I didn’t even get, like a wet shave and a hot towel. I only had £20 cash on me because it was £18 last time I went in there. At first I said “I’ll have to nip out to the cash point mate because I’ve only got a twenty on me” but then I thought actually no, you’re not charging me an extra £12 for splashing a bit of water on my face. Trying to mug me off, you cunts. 
 

So I said “hang on, you pointed at the board and said it was the same one. Eighteen quid. It was £18 last time I was here three weeks ago. If you’d said you were gonna charge me £30 because you washed my face, I’d have said no.” Then the pair of them started talking in Turkish, almost certainly calling me a tit and saying I’ve got a shit ginger beard anyway. Then he tried again insisting it was £30 and I said no, no chance and we had a bit of a stand off. Eventually the other fella who had a better grasp of English just waved his hand and said fine. So I put the twenty on the counter and walked out saying again that if they’d told me they were gonna charge me £12 for washing my face I’d have said no. 
 

I’m pissed off now because he’s done a good job but I can’t go back in there because I had a row with them. Also thinking back, because they were trying to take the piss I shouldn’t have just left the twenty note there, I should have waited for the £2 change as a matter of principle. 
 

I fucking hate Turkey, me. 
 

Fortunately like most High Streets these days there’s no shortage of barbers to choose from. Next time I’m gonna go to one of the two barbers that are a bit more expensive, have longer queues but are run by English fellas.

 

I’m done with the Turkish twats. 

[Elite]

13 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Turkish barber rant again. After the first one I talked about on here who shaved four months worth of hard earned pubic hair off my face and neck, I went to a different one the next time I got a haircut. They did an OK job, the beard looked fine but he also took a fair bit more off my chin than I wanted because, well, he barely understood English. £18 for a haircut and beard trim seems a bit steep but it is what it is. 
 

I went back today, explained loudly and clearly that I wanted the lines fixed but I want to keep it growing more on my chin so just a small tidy up on that part of my face would suffice. 
 

Against all odds, he understood what I said and cut my hair and trimmed the beard exactly as I wanted. Did the old burning the ear thing, did my eyebrows. Then he said what sounded like “Face mask wash?” to me a couple of times and seeing as I couldn’t understand what he was on about I shrugged my shoulders, told him I had no idea what he meant and asked what he thought. He then pointed at the price board up on the wall and said “It is same one” so I thought “fuck it” and told him OK. So he gave me a little face mask and then bent me over the sink (oh yeah) and washed my face. Job done. 
 

Get to the counter afterwards to pay the man and he pointed at the option on the board that said £30, which had a list of stuff, including things that I didn’t even get, like a wet shave and a hot towel. I only had £20 cash on me because it was £18 last time I went in there. At first I said “I’ll have to nip out to the cash point mate because I’ve only got a twenty on me” but then I thought actually no, you’re not charging me an extra £12 for splashing a bit of water on my face. Trying to mug me off, you cunts. 
 

So I said “hang on, you pointed at the board and said it was the same one. Eighteen quid. It was £18 last time I was here three weeks ago. If you’d said you were gonna charge me £30 because you washed my face, I’d have said no.” Then the pair of them started talking in Turkish,  almost certainly calling me a tit and saying I’ve got a shit ginger beard anyway. Then he tried again insisting it was £30 and I said no, no chance and we had a bit of a stand off. Eventually the other fella who had a better grasp of English just waved his hand and said fine. So I put the twenty on the counter and walked out saying again that if they’d told me they were gonna charge me £12 for washing my Face I’d have said no. 
 

I’m pissed off now because he’s done a good job but I can’t go back in there because I had a row with them. Also thinking back, because they were trying to take the piss I shouldn’t have just left the twenty note there, I should have waited for the £2 change as a matter of principle. 
 

I fucking hate Turkey, me. 
 

Fortunately like most High Streets these days there’s no shortage of barbers to choose from. Next time I’m gonna go to one of the two barbers that are a bit more expensive, have longer queues but are run by English fellas.

 

I’m done with the Turkish twats. 

Maybe it's time to try a Kurdish barber instead.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Turkish barber rant again. After the first one I talked about on here who shaved four months worth of hard earned pubic hair off my face and neck, I went to a different one the next time I got a haircut. They did an OK job, the beard looked fine but he also took a fair bit more off my chin than I wanted because, well, he barely understood English. £18 for a haircut and beard trim seems a bit steep but it is what it is. 
 

I went back today, explained loudly and clearly that I wanted the lines fixed but I want to keep it growing more on my chin so just a small tidy up on that part of my face would suffice. 
 

Against all odds, he understood what I said and cut my hair and trimmed the beard exactly as I wanted. Did the old burning the ear thing, did my eyebrows. Then he said what sounded like “Face mask wash?” to me a couple of times and seeing as I couldn’t understand what he was on about I shrugged my shoulders, told him I had no idea what he meant and asked what he thought. He then pointed at the price board up on the wall and said “It is same one” so I thought “fuck it” and told him OK. So he gave me a little face mask and then bent me over the sink (oh yeah) and washed my face. Job done. 
 

Get to the counter afterwards to pay the man and he pointed at the option on the board that said £30, which had a list of stuff, including things that I didn’t even get, like a wet shave and a hot towel. I only had £20 cash on me because it was £18 last time I went in there. At first I said “I’ll have to nip out to the cash point mate because I’ve only got a twenty on me” but then I thought actually no, you’re not charging me an extra £12 for splashing a bit of water on my face. Trying to mug me off, you cunts. 
 

So I said “hang on, you pointed at the board and said it was the same one. Eighteen quid. It was £18 last time I was here three weeks ago. If you’d said you were gonna charge me £30 because you washed my face, I’d have said no.” Then the pair of them started talking in Turkish, almost certainly calling me a tit and saying I’ve got a shit ginger beard anyway. Then he tried again insisting it was £30 and I said no, no chance and we had a bit of a stand off. Eventually the other fella who had a better grasp of English just waved his hand and said fine. So I put the twenty on the counter and walked out saying again that if they’d told me they were gonna charge me £12 for washing my face I’d have said no. 
 

I’m pissed off now because he’s done a good job but I can’t go back in there because I had a row with them. Also thinking back, because they were trying to take the piss I shouldn’t have just left the twenty note there, I should have waited for the £2 change as a matter of principle. 
 

I fucking hate Turkey, me. 
 

Fortunately like most High Streets these days there’s no shortage of barbers to choose from. Next time I’m gonna go to one of the two barbers that are a bit more expensive, have longer queues but are run by English fellas.

 

I’m done with the Turkish twats. 

Wash your own face?

13 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

That’s not right. Apparently Gaza has to have the telly on very loud to go to sleep. Nobody would share a room with him at away games becuase of it. 

So he doesn't hear the bombs being dropped around him? 

[Captain Turdseye]

42 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Wash your own face?

To be fair, my forehead and the parts of my cheeks that have no hair are now as soft as a baby’s bottom. 

[littletedwest]

3 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Turkish barber rant again. After the first one I talked about on here who shaved four months worth of hard earned pubic hair off my face and neck, I went to a different one the next time I got a haircut. They did an OK job, the beard looked fine but he also took a fair bit more off my chin than I wanted because, well, he barely understood English. £18 for a haircut and beard trim seems a bit steep but it is what it is. 
 

I went back today, explained loudly and clearly that I wanted the lines fixed but I want to keep it growing more on my chin so just a small tidy up on that part of my face would suffice. 
 

Against all odds, he understood what I said and cut my hair and trimmed the beard exactly as I wanted. Did the old burning the ear thing, did my eyebrows. Then he said what sounded like “Face mask wash?” to me a couple of times and seeing as I couldn’t understand what he was on about I shrugged my shoulders, told him I had no idea what he meant and asked what he thought. He then pointed at the price board up on the wall and said “It is same one” so I thought “fuck it” and told him OK. So he gave me a little face mask and then bent me over the sink (oh yeah) and washed my face. Job done. 
 

Get to the counter afterwards to pay the man and he pointed at the option on the board that said £30, which had a list of stuff, including things that I didn’t even get, like a wet shave and a hot towel. I only had £20 cash on me because it was £18 last time I went in there. At first I said “I’ll have to nip out to the cash point mate because I’ve only got a twenty on me” but then I thought actually no, you’re not charging me an extra £12 for splashing a bit of water on my face. Trying to mug me off, you cunts. 
 

So I said “hang on, you pointed at the board and said it was the same one. Eighteen quid. It was £18 last time I was here three weeks ago. If you’d said you were gonna charge me £30 because you washed my face, I’d have said no.” Then the pair of them started talking in Turkish, almost certainly calling me a tit and saying I’ve got a shit ginger beard anyway. Then he tried again insisting it was £30 and I said no, no chance and we had a bit of a stand off. Eventually the other fella who had a better grasp of English just waved his hand and said fine. So I put the twenty on the counter and walked out saying again that if they’d told me they were gonna charge me £12 for washing my face I’d have said no. 
 

I’m pissed off now because he’s done a good job but I can’t go back in there because I had a row with them. Also thinking back, because they were trying to take the piss I shouldn’t have just left the twenty note there, I should have waited for the £2 change as a matter of principle. 
 

I fucking hate Turkey, me. 
 

Fortunately like most High Streets these days there’s no shortage of barbers to choose from. Next time I’m gonna go to one of the two barbers that are a bit more expensive, have longer queues but are run by English fellas.

 

I’m done with the Turkish twats. 

3 years ago brother in law goes with my nephew who was 13. Both get there hair cut, when he goes to pay its 30 quid as they've given a 13 year old a shave and the ear candles thing. Nephews 16 now and still can't grow a beard 

[Champ]

On 25/05/2021 at 14:50, Bjornebye said:

People who don't take their coat off right away when they get home. She's just got back in and is stood in the kitchen making some food with her fucking coat still on, she does it all the time. Lazy bastards it proper winds me up. 

Is she trying to tell you something?

[Champ]

On 26/05/2021 at 13:40, UnwelcomeinPeru said:

The needless dropping of personal pronouns. Why? What does it save?

When I tweet about this later I will be saying 'I just made an inconsequential and tedious post on TLW' NOT 'Just made an...etc.'

Guilty as charged.

 

Or should I say, ‘I’m guilty as charged’

[Bjornebye]

14 minutes ago, Champ said:

Is she trying to tell you something?

Not sure mate. What do you reckon? 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

3 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

That’s not right. Apparently Gaza has to have the telly on very loud to go to sleep. Nobody would share a room with him at away games becuase of it. 

Is it a strip light?

[Trumo]

4 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

That’s not right. Apparently Gaza has to have the telly on very loud to go to sleep. Nobody would share a room with him at away games becuase of it. 

 

Not an issue for him at home in his mansion, named Tyne Palace.

[Champ]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Not sure mate. What do you reckon? 

…like she’s come in hoping tea’s on the go and because it’s not then gets straight on with it without even taking her coat off. 
 

 

I may or may not have done this in the past

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Champ said:

…like she’s come in hoping tea’s on the go and because it’s not then gets straight on with it without even taking her coat off. 
 

 

I may or may not have done this in the past

Hahahahaha

[Rico1304]

Touch screens. Stupid fucking touch screens. For some reason my stupid cold hands don’t seem to register. Buying a McDonalds or train ticket is fucking infuriating. And no one believes me. They say I’m doing it wrong.  Then they watch as the fucking stupid touch screen doesn’t register MY FUCKING HANDS. 

 

 

[Section_31]

38 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Touch screens. Stupid fucking touch screens. For some reason my stupid cold hands don’t seem to register. Buying a McDonalds or train ticket is fucking infuriating. And no one believes me. They say I’m doing it wrong.  Then they watch as the fucking stupid touch screen doesn’t register MY FUCKING HANDS. 

 

 

 

Maybe you're dead?

[Rico1304]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

 

Maybe you're dead?

Only on the inside.  I’m maybe thinking Bart Simpson when he sells his soul.  

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

Touch screens. Stupid fucking touch screens. For some reason my stupid cold hands don’t seem to register. Buying a McDonalds or train ticket is fucking infuriating. And no one believes me. They say I’m doing it wrong.  Then they watch as the fucking stupid touch screen doesn’t register MY FUCKING HANDS. 

 

 

Even machines dont like tories.

[Mudface]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

Touch screens. Stupid fucking touch screens. For some reason my stupid cold hands don’t seem to register. Buying a McDonalds or train ticket is fucking infuriating. And no one believes me. They say I’m doing it wrong.  Then they watch as the fucking stupid touch screen doesn’t register MY FUCKING HANDS. 

 

 

I get exactly the same sometimes, with phones too. My hands are usually bone dry so that might be it I guess.

[Rico1304]

30 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Even machines dont like tories.

Cash machines do. It’s a trade off.