Opposite sex deal breakers

[dennis tooth]

Dennis - link us to the news report on the incident or you're a lying cunt.

 

Its not been in any news incident, it may be after the case I dont know, I was expecting it would be given it happend at about 10.20am in front of Hillside school with loads of people about, I kept buying the paper whilst on the run and nothing!

Your welcome to come to court though if you think Im lying.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Sucking fellas off at an Eminem gig

[dennis tooth]

Sucking fellas off at an Eminem gig

 

Plus point for me. I love nasty filthy whores. Ive tried relatively normal ones, they just arent any fun, Im not one to go round judgin people, it would be nice to get a loonbird who is the same shade of loon as me or at least on the same team, instead of the skanks Ive got gettin me locked up. And shit.

Most birds need all the practice they can get anyway.

Anyway I want that bird Ive half a mind to track her down I think we would make a good match.

[Unrighteous]

On the plus side though, with her having a "bag", her hoop would be fucking pristine. Just sayin' like.

 

They actually sew it shut, so it doesn't get infection/etc.

 

So, she literally would have no asshole. None at all.

 

She might be a boss train wreck, but it'd be a two hole affair ONLY.

[stringvest]

Plus point for me. I love nasty filthy whores. Ive tried relatively normal ones, they just arent any fun, Im not one to go round judgin people, it would be nice to get a loonbird who is the same shade of loon as me or at least on the same team, instead of the skanks Ive got gettin me locked up. And shit.

Most birds need all the practice they can get anyway.

Anyway I want that bird Ive half a mind to track her down I think we would make a good match.

 

well you certainly smoke cock on here deep and often Dennis.

[General Dryness]

They actually sew it shut, so it doesn't get infection/etc.

 

So, she literally would have no asshole. None at all.

 

She might be a boss train wreck, but it'd be a two hole affair ONLY.

 

I never knew that. Every days a schoolday fella.

 

And she can fuck off.

[Ginny]

She doesn't do blowjobs.

 

What!? Has anyone actually been with a bird that doesn't do blow jobs? That's a definitive deal breaker right there!

[Unrighteous]

What!? Has anyone actually been with a bird that doesn't do blow jobs? That's a definitive deal breaker right there!

 

Yeah, except it was never actually expressed... and my requests weren't being denied... it just never happened.

 

Stealth no-sucker. Brutal.

[Ginny]

Yeah, except it was never actually expressed... and my requests weren't being denied... it just never happened.

 

Stealth no-sucker. Brutal.

 

Wow, that's some brutal game. So by the time you'd been with her a while it was harder for you to get out once you found out. Ouch!

[Remmie]

I have a bisexual friend and there has always been a little bit of more than friends about us, though we haven't had sex. She was a bit like a drug for me, I kept on getting enough signals to stay interested and then something wouldn't work out. This happened for 18 months or so until she said she hated giving blow jobs and then magically the interest dropped.

[Unrighteous]

Wow, that's some brutal game. So by the time you'd been with her a while it was harder for you to get out once you found out. Ouch!

 

Oh yeah... it was fucked. A few times she was about to get on it too and then face stopped like an inch away and she moved back up to climb on...

 

I was like WTFZ! SO CLOSE YET SO FAR!!

[Ginny]

I had a bird who used to start blowing then a couple of minutes in she starts moaning "my jaw is tired" or "I have a headache". Didnt last long

[Paulie Dangerously]

I have a bisexual friend and there has always been a little bit of more than friends about us, though we haven't had sex. He was a bit like a drug for me, I kept on getting enough signals to stay interested and then something wouldn't work out. This happened for 18 months or so until he said he hated giving blow jobs and then magically the interest dropped.

 

Thought this fella tried to kiss your penis?

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I had a bird who used to start blowing then a couple of minutes in she starts moaning "my jaw is tired" or "I have a headache". Didnt last long

 

The blowie or the relationship ?

[Dr Nowt]

Had a one-nighter with a woman who worked right over the other side of a mass open office. We'd never spoken but she was fit and used to wave at me as I came in. I bumped into her in town during a heavy nova and ended up back at her place. As I lay dozing afterwards she said two things which changed the air pressure considerably:

 

1) Why don't you have my spare key and use this place as your own.

2) I really want kids. How about you?

 

I brushed it off and turned over to sleep, resolving to GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE the moment I woke up. During the night she did a very passable impression of a limpet on a rock, breathing into my ear how this was just the start of forever. In the end, there was only one humane way to defuse the situation. I felt a huge fart brewing, and had to steel myself not to crack up there and then. My arse has been known to strip the paint off walls and kill plants.

 

I let it seep out silently, and did a countdown in my head from 10. Got to 7 before she made a sound not dissimilar to the classic Dr Lecter fava beans one. Off she went to the other side of the bed choking, and after a sound sleep with plenty of room, escape was made at the crack of birdshit. Jilly Cooper eat your fucking heart out.

 

Clingy, that's my deal breaker.

[Champ]

I think you mean headcase

[Dr Nowt]

Haha, too true. A number of mates gave me stick for not going back as she was a looker, but I stuck to my guns as she was clearly not right.

 

Last I heard she was trying to split up married couples in the group of people she hung around with, then got pregnant by one of them having told him she was on the pill.

 

People are morons.

[Carvalho Diablo]

I had a bird who used to start blowing then a couple of minutes in she starts moaning "my jaw is tired" or "I have a headache". Didnt last long

 

As my owld Granda once told me, "Son, if you love a woman then you'll lick her clout."

 

I was 6 at the time.

[Champ]

We've just had a couple of nights away. Well, I'm scanning the room at breakfast and this very presentable bloke orders chamomile tea, two mornings running. Call me unreconstructed but that blew it for me. You can tell...I'm still thinking about it now!

[Hand Shandy]

Presentable? Driving camomile tea?

 

Definitely gay.

[Dr Nowt]

Good with colours.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Only has a half on week nights

[Champ]

Presentable? Driving camomile tea?

 

Definitely gay.

 

Not that its any defence but he was with a woman. Nah, he  looked all bloke but what was he doing messing with my head with the bloody tea!

[Bjornebye]

It was LFD. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*scurries off to neg an LFD post for drinking camomile tea*

[Hand Shandy]

Not that its any defence but he was with a woman. Nah, he looked all bloke but what was he doing messing with my head with the bloody tea!

Are you sure it was a woman?