Instant cunt identifiers

[Champ]

Men who drive around in convertibles with the roof down. In March.

 

Maybe 'men who drive convertibles' full stop?

[Russ Atmosphere]

Men who drive around in convertibles with the roof down. In March.

On the motorway.

[Liverpool lad]

I seen one in February. Edge Lane Liverpool. Couldn't believe it

[Champ]

I seen one in February. Edge Lane Liverpool. Couldn't believe it

Your February is our March.

 

I can't be the only one who wishes that it would start pissing rain when you see these chumps

[Hades]

Anyone who refers to themselves as a taxpayer as if it's a special category only they belong to.

[A_S]

People who say arvo!

 

Hahaha. Yeah, as has been said already, don't live here then! 

[bouncebrigade]

Hades was up early worrying about an absolute load of bollocks.

[A Red]

"Hi, alright?"

 

"Not 3 bad"

 

"Fuck off then"

[magicrat]

"Hi, alright?"

 

"Not 3 bad"

 

"Fuck off then"

or "Sound as a pound"

[Liverpool lad]

When you hear somebody trying too hard to be Scouse

[Harry Squatter]

2 lads on my train the other day having a big massive scouse off, both from Whiston.

[manwiththestick]

When you hear somebody trying too hard to be Scouse

Also known as Runcornitis.

[Furmedge]

When you hear somebody trying too hard to be Scouse

Top to toe in black, obligatory North Face jacket.

[General Dryness]

When you hear somebody trying too hard to be Scouse

 

 

Also known as Runcornitis.

 

I believe the proper medical term is "John Bishops Disease".

[VladimirIlyich]

Also known as Runcornitis.

.

[Bjornebye]

People who come back to work after every weekend still fucked from hitting it too hard, zero productivity and a face like a smacked arse all day. Prick in our work then just said out loud "I'm having a brain melt here, how do I do such and such again?" and scowled when someone took the piss out of him for getting others to do his work for him all the time.

 

In other words he has been hammering it all weekend to the point where it has physically impaired his ability to do his job.

But instead of being a bit humble about it all (im sure he is not the only bank holiday causality in the UK) he has taken an aggressive and defiant stance, oozing out a vile aura of anti-everythingness and blaming the birds in the sky for his liver damage and empty bank account.  

[Section_31]

People who say can I get, instead of can I have.

[Remmie]

It should be may I have...

[Bjornebye]

Even worse than that, we have a girl in our work who says "I know right" like some sort of wannabe American cunt fuck.

[Jairzinho]

"Let me go ahead and get..."

 

Kill yourself?

[Section_31]

"Let me go ahead and get..."

 

Kill yourself?

Fucking hell.

 

Anyone who uses more words than they have to is a stupid cunt, for me, 1984 was a feel good book.

 

All coffees would be known as 'coffee'.

 

Eventually it would be just 'want coffee'.

[Oh Buoy]

People who are "assistant managers" when they just work behind a bar. 

[Harry Squatter]

Twats who go on a night out with the specific intention of causing shit wherever they go. You have the moronic scally shitheads who have nothing better to do with their lives but then there are lads who think its part of banter of amusement to piss off other people in nights out. Usually people who look like they won't fight back.

 

Went to a wedding last year , knew the girl who was getting married but not her husband. Anyway the best man tells this "hilarious" story of him and 5 of his mates who were out in town. Some fella by the bar was minding his own business on his phone waiting for his bird. This lad decides to throw a pint over him for no apparent reason apart from "seeing what his reaction was". Obviously this lad wasn't a meathead or looked like he would be able to fill him and five of his mates in so he fucked off to clean his shirt while they all thought it was hilarious.

 

Used to go to school with some lad who always fancied himself as a hard case and met up with him when he came home from University in Sheffield, basically said how hilarious it was that him and three of his bouncer mates would go out "student bashing" and thought it was great that they broke some lads eye socket once. Again he sounded like a small, meek and mild mannered lad who was minding his own business.

 

Was at a leaving party at a pub in town and I was talking to my mate, then started talking about some lad who we hadn't seen for ages. Some tit walks over saying we were slagging this lad off who is his mate and wants to know why we were calling him a cunt. Both of us tell him he's a tit and to fuck off but all he does is give us daggers for the next half hour. When we are leaving he decides to pick a fight with someone who can twat him and we saw him getting launched into the toilet door.

[Liverpool lad]

People who lie about how much they drink

 

'good night last night?'

 

'had 12 pints'

 

Nearly as bad as sex liars

[Pidge]

Describes themself as a "classical liberal".

 

It's the new "libertarian"