Instant cunt identifiers

[AngryOfTuebrook]

People who use memes instead of facts and reasoned arguments.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

On 21/11/2021 at 00:37, Bjornebye said:

, you used to be a decent poster 

I've now got a mental image of TK in a tennis dress, scratching his bare arse.

 

Works for me.

[Oh Buoy]

Cunts who park in the parent & child spaces and then proceed to take their invisible child into the shops with them. 

 

Should be widely accepted to volley the lazy cunts back into their mothers muff. 

[manwiththestick]

1 hour ago, Oh, Buoy! said:

Cunts who park in the parent & child spaces and then proceed to take their invisible child into the shops with them. 

 

Should be widely accepted to volley the lazy cunts back into their mothers muff. 

And the ones who park in the disabled bay and do a Usain Bolt into the shop.

[Section_31]

People who talk into their phones the way they do on the apprentice, even though it's only them talking so doesn't need to be on speakerphone. See this more and more now. 

 

[Arniepie]

13 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

People who talk into their phones the way they do on the apprentice, even though it's only them talking so doesn't need to be on speakerphone. See this more and more now. 

 

Or these people who appear to be talking to themselves but I'm presuming have some mobile/ ear piece thing going on.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

1 minute ago, manwiththestick said:

And the ones who park in the disabled bay and do a Usain Bolt into the shop.

I saw a massive American RV - proper Canyonero fucker, with steps up to the driver's seat about three feet off the ground - straddling two disabled bays outside Tesco.

 

That's a benchmark for other wannabe cunts to aspire to.

[Oh Buoy]

2 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I saw a massive American RV - proper Canyonero fucker, with steps up to the driver's seat about three feet off the ground - straddling two disabled bays outside Tesco.

 

That's a benchmark for other wannabe cunts to aspire to.

 

There's a debate about making these spaces a bit away from the store (at least parent and child) as I wonder whether these cunts are doing it out of laziness. The Tesco in Litherland has them to the side of the car park (P&C) and they're often always space.

[Section_31]

8 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I saw a massive American RV - proper Canyonero fucker, with steps up to the driver's seat about three feet off the ground - straddling two disabled bays outside Tesco.

 

That's a benchmark for other wannabe cunts to aspire to.

 

Spotted this in Speke retail a few months back, blue badges and all yet it's about two inches off the floor.

 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

Spotted this in Speke retail a few months back, blue badges and all yet it's about two inches off the floor.

 

Meh

 

 

 

[Mudface]

On 07/12/2021 at 09:13, AngryOfTuebrook said:

People who use memes instead of facts and reasoned arguments.

4/8Chan and the edgelords who celebrated that orange bellend at r/TheDonald should all fucking hang for their pollution of the internet and culture. At least Something Awful goons could be amusing.

[General Dryness]

On 07/12/2021 at 22:13, AngryOfTuebrook said:

People who use memes instead of facts and reasoned arguments.

 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

People on zoom calls who deliberately position the camera to show off a guitar in the background.

 

Ooh, look at me, I'm dead musical. Pathetic.

[Arniepie]

People who pull out on front of you, forcing you to slam in,then proceed to drive at about 6 mph.

[Harry Squatter]

On 09/12/2021 at 20:17, Section_31 said:

People who talk into their phones the way they do on the apprentice, even though it's only them talking so doesn't need to be on speakerphone. See this more and more now. 

 

This is particularly common behaviour on buses. No one wants to listen to your petty dramas or talking to your ma about what you want for tea. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

People who don't hold records by the edges, but put their greasy thumb-prints all over the tracks.

 

 

[Shitty Arse]

Fitness instructors. Ooh I’m going to take this spin class dressed as a  Christmas Elf because I’m dead wacky. I’ll play all Christmas songs as well because you don’t hear these same songs enough at this time of year on a constant loop in every shop you go in. I’ll put some glitter on me face. Exercise is a relentlessly grim joyless battle against middle age. Fuck off with all the enforced jollity you cunts.

 

Also anyone who “goes live” on Facebook. No one’s arsed. 

[Section_31]

18 minutes ago, Shitty Arse said:

Fitness instructors. Ooh I’m going to take this spin class dressed as a  Christmas Elf because I’m dead wacky. I’ll play all Christmas songs as well because you don’t hear these same songs enough at this time of year on a constant loop in every shop you go in. I’ll put some glitter on me face. Exercise is a relentlessly grim joyless battle against middle age. Fuck off with all the enforced jollity you cunts.

 

Also anyone who “goes live” on Facebook. No one’s arsed. 

 

I always think people who enjoy fitness are fucked up, it goes against all the primal urges of your brain and most people only do it under extreme sufferance.

 

Hats off to people who are genuinely into it like, they'll no doubt live longer and so forth, but fucking hell.

 

I've seen some really wacky shit in gyms, it's David Attenborough material some of it.

 

Went circuit training once with a proper mix of ages and abilities and there were these two lads competing with each other, had that smell of recruitment consultants about them. The instructor would have us all jogging slowly around cones and would explicitly state 'don't overtake', so you can imagine what they did. But they'd smile while they did it, like they'd achieved something in life. Imagine getting self affirmation from shit like that?

 

Used to be this meathead who used to leave his water bottle on people's machines while they were exercising, like he owned the gym, and make loads of noise when he was lifting, shouting and dropping weights deliberately, which any genuine lifter knows is a sign of bad form.

 

There's one in the gym now like that yet he's skinny as fuck and in his 40s, he walks around like he owns the place, on his phone (which is a way of basically shitting on the floor and claiming ownership of the communal space), talking loudly and doing small weights, badly, but screaming as he goes. Never takes his rain coat off either. Serious oddball.

[nimrod]

On 11/12/2021 at 19:09, Babb'sBurstNad said:

People on zoom calls who deliberately position the camera to show off a guitar in the background.

 

Ooh, look at me, I'm dead musical. Pathetic.

Erm 'sour grapes'? I'm in my 'den' Ive got 3 guitars right behind me, if someone video calls me they will see them, but that's where they live, I never stash them away, too much trouble.
plus, ideal for my hats.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Just Eat bike riders. 
 

Take a cycle proficiency test you absolute helmets. 
 

 

[Bjornebye]

9 hours ago, Shitty Arse said:

 

Also anyone who “goes live” on Facebook. No one’s arsed. 

Except this fella 

 

 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

36 minutes ago, Skidfingers McGonical said:

Just Eat bike riders. 
 

Take a cycle proficiency test you absolute helmets. 
 

 

Nah.

 

Just Eat/Deliveroo etc. employers, who pay people so little that they have to risk their neck to make enough dough.

[A Red]

54 minutes ago, Skidfingers McGonical said:

Just Eat bike riders. 

Only in Hungary

[Dr Nowt]

Turned on the telly last night and Masterchef appeared. Immediately presented with that sex pest greengrocer cunt, Sue Pollard and Neil Ruddock.

 

That is one seriously competitive cunt trifecta. My fucking eyes.

 

Reflexes of a cat were invoked to instinctively get them straight on mute then a nanosecond later have the channel changed. 

[Bjornebye]

6 minutes ago, Dr Nowt said:

Turned on the telly last night and Masterchef appeared. Immediately presented with that sex pest greengrocer cunt, Sue Pollard and Neil Ruddock.

 

That is one seriously competitive cunt trifecta. My fucking eyes.

 

Reflexes of a cat were invoked to instinctively get them straight on mute then a nanosecond later have the channel changed. 

Yep, I do exactly the same. The channel takes a millisecond longer to stop hearing them and that tiny space of time has the potential to ruin your mood.