What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Fugitive said:

Look at shit eggs getting all pissy.

 

 

Hahaha

 

However you taking piss out of someone else’s breakfast is like Jo Brand calling Margot Robbie a walrus 

[Fugitive]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Hahaha

 

However you taking piss out of someone else’s breakfast is like Jo Brand calling Margot Robbie a walrus 

The difference is that I know how shit the breakfast I post are and call the cunts who cooked it out.

 

He actually seems to be pleased with that fucking mess he is claiming to be an omelette. If anyone on here knows what a shitty breakfast looks like, it’s me.

[Bjornebye]

17 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

The difference is that I know how shit the breakfast I post are and call the cunts who cooked it out.

 

He actually seems to be pleased with that fucking mess he is claiming to be an omelette. If anyone on here knows what a shitty breakfast looks like, it’s me.

 

Yeah but you actively order them then we all have to wait for it then you post it then you fucking eat it. I’m just glad you don’t have beans. Unlike them nappy scranners

[Fugitive]

7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

 

Yeah but you actively order them then we all have to wait for it then you post it then you fucking eat it. I’m just glad you don’t have beans. Unlike them nappy scranners

I’m like those fellas from ‘The curse of Oak Island’.

 

They piss away all their money in the hope they find some treasure that almost certainly doesn’t exist and I waste money in pursuit of a decent delivered breakfast that is just as likely not to exist but I can’t give up the chase.

 

We are dreamers.

[Bjornebye]

29 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

I’m like those fellas from ‘The curse of Oak Island’.

 

They piss away all their money in the hope they find some treasure that almost certainly doesn’t exist and I waste money in pursuit of a decent delivered breakfast that is just as likely not to exist but I can’t give up the chase.

 

We are dreamers.

Calm down Robinson Crusoe. Tom Hanks in Castaway wouldn’t have fed Wilson one of your efforts 

 

Edit: Maybe he did that’s why Wilson fucked off 

[Anubis]

10 hours ago, Spy Bee said:

Apple Juice is for 5 year olds. Unless it's got alcohol in, then it's for pisscans. It's most definitely not for breakfast.

Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here. Apple juice will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me.

[Anubis]

If anyone wants to replicate Lurtzy’s patented omelette making, here’s how.

 

[lifetime fan]

1 hour ago, Anubis said:

If anyone wants to replicate Lurtzy’s patented omelette making, here’s how.

 

The fuck you doing with CCTV in my kitchen? 

[lifetime fan]

5 hours ago, Redder Lurtz said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'd quite like every single one of you omelette-mocking cunts to make one and post a picture of it on here. Let's see if your efforts resemble Michelin Star scran shall we? This isn't BBC Good Food magazine. David fucking Bailey wouldn't have been able to create a decent image of an omelette if he took the photo on a smartphone either. Twats. 

I can’t think of a single poster that would make an omelette that looked worse! 
 

It looked like you just used out of date eggs to deglaze the filthiest frying pan you own for fucks sake. 

[lifetime fan]

6 hours ago, Redder Lurtz said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'd quite like every single one of you omelette-mocking cunts to make one and post a picture of it on here. Let's see if your efforts resemble Michelin Star scran shall we? This isn't BBC Good Food magazine. David fucking Bailey wouldn't have been able to create a decent image of an omelette if he took the photo on a smartphone either. Twats. 

4 o’clock in the morning with only 2 eggs in the house and I don’t even eat the fucking things! 
 

 

[DalyanPete]

2 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

4 o’clock in the morning with only 2 eggs in the house and I don’t even eat the fucking things! 
 

 

Masterclass, now that is an omelette.

[DalyanPete]

8 hours ago, Redder Lurtz said:

I'd quite like every single one of you omelette-mocking cunts to make one and post a picture of it on here. Let's see if your efforts resemble Michelin Star scran shall we? This isn't BBC Good Food magazine. David fucking Bailey wouldn't have been able to create a decent image of an omelette if he took the photo on a smartphone either. Twats. 

There's nothing better than someone getting a cob on on this thread. Mockery on here has inspired death threats and justification of not being a nonce.

Its what makes this thread the funniest on here.

Nice blame attached to the smartphone though.

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

4 o’clock in the morning with only 2 eggs in the house and I don’t even eat the fucking things! 
 

 

What in the stolen cod before it’s been dipped is that 

[Bjornebye]

4 hours ago, Anubis said:

Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here. Apple juice will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me.

Was everyone on the ale last night then? 

[Bjornebye]

On 29/04/2024 at 11:55, Redder Lurtz said:

 

 

 

On 28/04/2024 at 13:12, Redder Lurtz said:

2nd week on low carbs. Threw this together today. Black pudding, low fat sausages from my butcher, plain 3 egg omelette (with mixed herbs and chilli flakes, I'm not an animal). I'm missing toast but it's tasty anyway. 

 

 

 

[Lurtz]

3 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

4 o’clock in the morning with only 2 eggs in the house and I don’t even eat the fucking things! 
 

 

 

Smoked haddock at 4am? Pervert. 

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Redder Lurtz said:

 

Smoked haddock at 4am? Pervert. 

It’s a banana fritter with a broken pepper mill thrown at it. 

[Captain Willard]

6 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

4 o’clock in the morning with only 2 eggs in the house and I don’t even eat the fucking things! 
 

 

This is brilliant. You got up at 4 am to make an omelette you won’t even eat just to win a pissing competition with a complete stranger on the internet. This is peak GF behaviour 

 

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

This is brilliant. You got up at 4 am to make an omelette you won’t even eat just to win a pissing competition with a complete stranger on the internet. This is peak GF behaviour 

 

Says the OAP hammer batterrer hypocrite Tory wank loufre who sends pictures of steak tartare and onion whip sauce and pretends he’s a Labour man. Take your head for a shit baldilocks you look like a sober Alan Brazil 

[Captain Willard]

8 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Says the OAP hammer batterrer hypocrite Tory wank loufre who sends pictures of steak tartare and onion whip sauce and pretends he’s a Labour man. Take your head for a shit baldilocks you look like a sober Alan Brazil 

What the fuck is a “Loufre” or “onion whip sauce” ? 

[TheHowieLama]

7 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

4 o’clock in the morning with only 2 eggs in the house and I don’t even eat the fucking things! 
 

 

 

 

in the voice of Jacques Pepin - "ze classic french om-uh-lette"

[TheHowieLama]

3 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

What the fuck is a “Loufre” or “onion whip sauce” ? 

Think you are actually a loofah - an oddly shaped sponge.

The Louvre is a museum and you are old - maybe it is a new word.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

What the fuck is a “Loufre” or “onion whip sauce” ? 

The names of the last two old women you hammered to death 

[Captain Willard]

3 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

Think you are actually a loofah - an oddly shaped sponge.

The Louvre is a museum and you are old - maybe it is a new word.

 I’m being insulted by being called a middle class personal hygiene product. That stings. I’m no wiser as to what “onion whip sauce” is. 

[TheHowieLama]

You forgot old.

It happens.