What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Elite]

4 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

I was at Heathrow at 6 am today. Never fails to amuse me to see blokes with wives and kids in tow ordering pints to accompany their breakfast. Only at airports is this acceptable, they wouldn’t crack open a can at home to go with their cornflakes. 

Dunno about you but I can only eat my Weetabix if they are soaked in Kestrel super.

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Elite said:

Dunno about you but I can only eat my Weetabix if they are soaked in Kestrel super.

I always suspected you and Fuge were the same person 

[Spy Bee]

I was going to go for breakfast in a place called Fuzi's in Wrexham on Saturday morning, but having just searched their reviews, I am not sure. It seems like the chef has sneezed on the eggs

 

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Spy Bee said:

I was going to go for breakfast in a place called Fuzi's in Wrexham on Saturday morning, but having just searched their reviews, I am not sure. It seems like the chef has sneezed on the eggs

 

Jesus christ 

[Jairzinho]

A glass of coke.

 

The country deserves another five years of Tories.

[YorkshireRed]

1 hour ago, Spy Bee said:

I was going to go for breakfast in a place called Fuzi's in Wrexham on Saturday morning, but having just searched their reviews, I am not sure. It seems like the chef has sneezed on the eggs

 

 
Just a few minor gripes with this one. 
 

The sausages.

The bacon.

The eggs.

The hash browns.

The black pudding.

The beans.

The triangular toast.

The non circular plate

The name of the establishment.

The person who cooked it.

The parents of the person who cooked it.

Anyone who knows the person who cooked it.

The law of the land that has enabled the person who cooked it to do so without fear of conviction.

Anyone involved in Welcome to Wrexham.

Other than these……..

 

it’s still appalling. 

 

 

[TheHowieLama]

Plate is pushing it - more of a shiny cafeteria tray.

[Dave D]

On 21/05/2024 at 11:24, Fugitive said:

This has to be one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. I’m fucking shaking with anger.

 

The have given me uncooked streaky fucking bacon, the sausage was cooked on an ice cube, the toast is literally only toasted on one side, the hash brown has been raped in transit and they added fucking beans.

 

 

Whoever put that in the box was pissing themselves

[Dave D]

4 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

I was at Heathrow at 6 am today. Never fails to amuse me to see blokes with wives and kids in tow ordering pints to accompany their breakfast. Only at airports is this acceptable, they wouldn’t crack open a can at home to go with their cornflakes. 

 

 

Once upon a time but my bladder wouldn't cope anymore       

[TheHowieLama]

5 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

 

 

5 hours ago, TheHowieLama said:

It is very flat.

 

 

[Barrington Womble]

On 21/05/2024 at 17:49, Vincent Vega said:

Might’ve known that prick would be an anti-beaner. He’s typical of their sort. 
 

I assume by "members" they mean cocks..

[Pidge]

5 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

I was at Heathrow at 6 am today. Never fails to amuse me to see blokes with wives and kids in tow ordering pints to accompany their breakfast. Only at airports is this acceptable, they wouldn’t crack open a can at home to go with their cornflakes. 

 

Getting to an airport and through security can be a stressful process, nothing wrong with a cool pint once the pressure is off. It's the "get on it" crew that need a slap.

[Curly]

16 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

A glass of coke.

 

The country deserves another five years of Tories.

A glass or can of coke with a brekkie when hungover is the one, you fucking heathen

[Curly]

18 hours ago, Spy Bee said:

I was going to go for breakfast in a place called Fuzi's in Wrexham on Saturday morning, but having just searched their reviews, I am not sure. It seems like the chef has sneezed on the eggs

 

That actually looks like something I would want to eat, but then I noticed the brown fucking toast, so I’m now furiously gathering kindling so I can burn my own house down

[Curly]

14 hours ago, Dave D said:

Whoever put that in the box was pissing themselves

“Throw it to me bit by bit and I’ll catch it in the box”

 

”We can’t do that - it’ll be ruined”

 

”Go on - it’ll be funny”

 

”Alright then. Shall I cook any of it?”

 

”Yeah, but so it’s inedible”

[Remmie]

13 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Yes but at 6 am is a bit much. 

Joy thief.

 

First pint of the holiday is sacred.

 

Also, all airlines, and by that I mean all the cheap shit ones I travel with, now fly before 6:30am, so what are you going to do, not getting hammered?

 

Wow that's a lot of commas.

[Fugitive]

1 hour ago, Curly said:

A glass or can of coke with a brekkie when hungover is the one, you fucking heathen

Yeah, that or Irn Bru.

 

I also vomit if I have tea or coffee so I’m pretty limited.

[Dave D]

15 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Yes but at 6 am is a bit much. 

I cant get my head round it now Ive got kids but each to their own I guess.   

[Curly]

45 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

Yeah, that or Irn Bru.

 

I also vomit if I have tea or coffee so I’m pretty limited.

Yeah, Irn Bru is a winner. Chicken and mushroom pot noodle and an irn bru is great hangover food

[Pidge]

17 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Yes but at 6 am is a bit much. 

 

I'd be after a coffee myself, but if you've been up since 3am it's technically a nightcap...

[Bjornebye]

3 hours ago, Remmie said:

Joy thief.

 

First pint of the holiday is sacred.

 

Also, all airlines, and by that I mean all the cheap shit ones I travel with, now fly before 6:30am, so what are you going to do, not getting hammered?

 

Wow that's a lot of commas.

Were you pissed writing this? 
 

Im a terrible flyer so it’s a few pints, a whisky chaser or two and a few kalms then a few more when the drinks trolley comes round so I can sleep through the inevitable crash into a mountain.
 

At least thats what I tell the missus 

 

 

[Dave D]

20 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Were you pissed writing this? 
 

Im a terrible flyer so it’s a few pints, a whisky chaser or two and a few kalms then a few more when the drinks trolley comes round so I can sleep through the inevitable crash into a mountain.
 

At least thats what I tell the missus 

 

 

 

Yeah but like the old saying goes- "you dont want to wake up in a wrecked fuselage with a hangover" 

 

Or something 

[Mudface]

4 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

I saw a young woman at Heathrow yesterday having a proper panic attack. Poor thing looked like there was no way she was getting on the plane despite having packed her bags and got up at 5 am. 

 

I've generally had to take Valium for flights- I'm not bothered about flying itself, it's just all the hassle that stresses me out- but my GP won't prescribe it anymore as there have been cases where people have been too zonked to react to an emergency landing. She will prescribe Propranolol- a beta blocker- but it's not really as effective.

[Bjornebye]

25 minutes ago, Dave D said:

 

Yeah but like the old saying goes- "you dont want to wake up in a wrecked fuselage with a hangover" 

 

Or something 

Nah I genuinely hate it. Well taking off then I’m fine. Never used to be it’s only as I’ve got a bit older. Flew out of Manchester a few days before New Year’s Eve a few years back with her dad, it was shite morning Manchester weather. Rain, clouds. He’s a bit square so I didn’t babe a bevvy. She turned to me about an hour into the flight and said you’ve done well I said I’ve had about 3 panic attacks, chose my records and typed I love you ready to send to about 20 people in my phone you mad cow 

[Dave D]

8 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Nah I genuinely hate it. Well taking off then I’m fine. Never used to be it’s only as I’ve got a bit older. Flew out of Manchester a few days before New Year’s Eve a few years back with her dad, it was shite morning Manchester weather. Rain, clouds. He’s a bit square so I didn’t babe a bevvy. She turned to me about an hour into the flight and said you’ve done well I said I’ve had about 3 panic attacks, chose my records and typed I love you ready to send to about 20 people in my phone you mad cow 

 

You being you, you would probably wake up after impact, check on your Mrs and then if you had a phone signal you wouldn't call for help, you would start a new thread on the GF titled Mountains are shit