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Rate the last film you watched...


Elite

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2 hours ago, Anubis said:

Rebel Moon - 2/10. All shot using Snyder’s trademark sepia toned hues and slowed/normal speed action sequences. 
 

Things I stole from other films, by Zack Snyder, aged 57. 
 

1. Orcs from LotR. Just give them blue skin. Nobody will notice.

 

2. South Africans as bad guys. Just having a South African accent clearly makes somebody an evil, rapist murderer.

 

3. Back to LotR to steal Bree. A rain soaked, mud infested shithole full of questionable characters.

 

4. while we’re in Bree, let’s style Charlie Hunnam’s character on Aragorn.

 

6. Gladiator. Let’s just steal Djimon Hounsou full stop.

 

7. Star Wars. We’ll just use the Gungans as a template for King Levitica. Right down to the way they speak.

 

8. MCU. Levitica needs a royal guard. Love those Skrulls.

 

9.  Next up we’ll Nick The Empress of the Racnoss from Dr Who. We won’t even attempt to disguise it. We’ll just hope the BBC don’t notice.

 

10. What do you get if you cross Immorton Joe’s boys from Mad Max, with The Ravagers from the MCU. Why, it’s the Bloodaxe twins and their merry men.

 

11. This is basically the plot of Seven Samurai. Just with a shit script. Shit actors. And boring action sequences. Kurosawa will be turning in his grave.

 

A risible effort, on every level. God knows how much money Netflix have allowed him to chuck away here.

 

There's a reason every studio prior to Netflix turned down Snyder's script. I don't know how he persuades people to pony up hundreds of millions for his guff. 

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Dream Scenario 

 

Nicholas Cage really good in a role I thought would be not his kind of fare. A quirky, horror, with some comedy moments. The premise being a guy who appears in everyone's dreams. Kind of predictable how it panned out, but none the less a solid watch.

 

7 David Byrne suits out of 10 Bald Heeds. 

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44 minutes ago, Chip Butty said:

Dream Scenario 

 

Nicholas Cage really good in a role I thought would be not his kind of fare. A quirky, horror, with some comedy moments. The premise being a guy who appears in everyone's dreams. Kind of predictable how it panned out, but none the less a solid watch.

 

7 David Byrne suits out of 10 Bald Heeds. 

 

That streaming anywhere, mate? Or do I need to take to the high seas?

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Just now, Anubis said:


Apparently there is an R rated version which Netflix are holding back. No idea why. It’s not going to make it any better.


Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, Charlie Hunnam has just turned up doing an Oirish accent. 

 

This really isn’t very good.

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2 minutes ago, Scott_M said:


Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, Charlie Hunnam has just turned up doing an Oirish accent. 

 

This really isn’t very good.


I’ve no idea what was going on with the attempted Irish accent thing.

 

I hope you’re drinking alcohol while watching it. I wasn’t, unfortunately.

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4 minutes ago, Anubis said:


I’ve no idea what was going on with the attempted Irish accent thing.

 

I hope you’re drinking alcohol while watching it. I wasn’t, unfortunately.


Considering it’s the most expensive film of the year, I’m struggling to say what the money has been spent on so far.

 

The effects are nothing great, the script is a turkey and it’s mostly C-list actors.

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Life of Brian.

 

Haven’t seen this since I was a kid sniggering at the sweating and looking wide eyed at Judith’s hairy fanny.

 

Anyway, I digress. Absolute genius now I understand it more. Palin & Cleese sensational in every scene they’re in.

 

10/10 still sniggered at the swearing and Judith’s big hairy fanny is still a joy to behold.

 

Ultimate Xmas movie 

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22 minutes ago, Anubis said:


Apparently there is an R rated version which Netflix are holding back. No idea why. It’s not going to make it any better.

 

It his new thing, put out a film, it get's panned, say there's a better version and get fans to build up the demand, release the new version and get it hailed a masterpiece by his fans and more of the same shit by everyone else, studio is happy regardless because they get a second bite of the income and he get's to point to the total income for the film when pitching his next project.

 

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7 minutes ago, Red74 said:

Life of Brian.

 

Haven’t seen this since I was a kid sniggering at the sweating and looking wide eyed at Judith’s hairy fanny.

 

Anyway, I digress. Absolute genius now I understand it more. Palin & Cleese sensational in every scene they’re in.

 

10/10 still sniggered at the swearing and Judith’s big hairy fanny is still a joy to behold.

 

Ultimate Xmas movie 

 

Funniest film of all time and it's not even close. Is it an Xmas film though? 

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10 minutes ago, Red74 said:

Life of Brian.

 

Haven’t seen this since I was a kid sniggering at the sweating and looking wide eyed at Judith’s hairy fanny.

 

Anyway, I digress. Absolute genius now I understand it more. Palin & Cleese sensational in every scene they’re in.

 

10/10 still sniggered at the swearing and Judith’s big hairy fanny is still a joy to behold.

 

Ultimate Xmas movie 

It's just outstanding, so many brilliant lines, the whole Biggus Dickus scene just kills me.

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9 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

It's just outstanding, so many brilliant lines, the whole Biggus Dickus scene just kills me.

When Biggus speaks and he’s got a speech impediment as well. The layers of intelligence in the writing are just off the scale. Every scene still has relevance to the modern day. The bit when Brian gets thrown in the cell and Palins laying into him while he’s chained up but still worshipping the Romans is the modern day Tory / royalist. 

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3 minutes ago, Red74 said:

When Biggus speaks and he’s got a speech impediment as well. The layers of intelligence in the writing are just off the scale. Every scene still has relevance to the modern day. The bit when Brian gets thrown in the cell and Palins laying into him while he’s chained up but still worshipping the Romans is the modern day Tory / royalist. 

 

"Up yer go Big Nose" is a belter line at the end "I'll get you for this you bastard" 

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1 minute ago, Lee909 said:

 

Fk_M5HfXgAMJuIy.jpg

Later on when Judith comes back to tell them Brian’s been nicked, she runs out screaming  cos they want to hold another meeting. Reg turns round laughing saying the feminists are upset again and Idle goes Oi. Cleese holds his hand saying sorry Loretta had me creased up

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2 minutes ago, Red74 said:

Later on when Judith comes back to tell them Brian’s been nicked, she runs out screaming  cos they want to hold another meeting. Reg turns round laughing saying the feminists are upset again and Idle goes Oi. Cleese holds his hand saying sorry Loretta had me creased up

 

"Could be worse?"

":Could be worse?"

"Yeah, could be stabbed" 

"Crucifiction's a slow, horrible death"

"Crucifixions a doddle"

"Weirdo" 

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NISUS: Good. Out of the door. Line on the left. One cross each. Next. Crucifixion?

 

MR. CHEEKY: Ah, no. Freedom.

 

JAILER: Hmm?

 

NISUS: What?

 

MR. CHEEKY: Eh, freedom for me. They said I hadn't done anything, so I could go free and live on an island somewhere.

 

NISUS: Oh. Oh, well, that's jolly good. Well, off you go, then.

 

MR. CHEEKY: Naa, I'm only pulling your leg. It's crucifixion, really

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