Rate the last film you watched...

[Tom R]

Dumb and Dumber - An all time classic.

 

Still amazing - I score it 9 IQ's out of idiot.

[JohnnyH]

Hancock - 6/10. Probably a good film in there somewhere. Just that it's buried under a pile of shit.

 

Watched it last night and it that's exactly what I thought. Although I gave it 4/10

[RedKnight]

Star Trek: First Contact - Charles Xavier takes on Cybermen rip-offs; 7 out of 10.

[Mendoza]

Strange Days- 8.5/10.

 

Kathryn Bigelow=ace.

[dirty_sanchez]

Bram Stoker's Dracula -2 bites out of 10. Really shit. Keanu Reeves is a terrible actor, and this is a terrible film, although it's an ambitious attempt. It gets the 2 for it's scale and grandeur, but it's an awful film.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Has anybody seen 'Fanboys'? Is it any good?

[Thants]

Defiance - fucking shit. Couldn't finish it. 2/10

[Ted]

I still can't believe Copely improvised all his lines. What a focken' leg!

[GJM]

'In the Loop'. Is this stuff really funny to anybody that hasn't worked in a UK Govt Dept? I have and so appreciated the in-jokiness of it all, but I would think it has limited appeal beyond this rather narrow catchment. Watching it, I could almost hear the writer chuckling smugly to himself at another 'well observed' set piece.

[Unrighteous]

I still can't believe Copely improvised all his lines. What a focken' leg!

 

Yup. I'd give District 9 a higher score if I knew that earlier... In fact, add one to my D9 score.

[Section_31]

Defiance - fucking shit. Couldn't finish it. 2/10

 

Yeah it's turd, so much potential too.

 

District 9, 9-10, good idea and some class action scenes.

[Section_31]

Star Trek: First Contact - Charles Xavier takes on Cybermen rip-offs; 7 out of 10.

 

The Borg in that are shit compared to in the series itself, even though the makeup and costume budget was far higher. The scowling, frowning crusty-skinned cyber zombie look wasn't a patch on the pale skinned open mouthed, brain-dead creatures of The Best of Both Worlds.

 

 

[YOUTUBE]6CkqTKNrDEM[/YOUTUBE]

 

 

* wanks

[Steve Holt]

I honestly wasn't bashing his accent. I'm aware that he is an authentic South African (and ad libbed basically every line in the film - hence the reason it seems like Murray from Flight of the Conchords is showing us around D9, kudos) it's just his pronunciation of fuck made me laugh.

 

Yeah me and my mate both thought he was a lot like Murray :D

 

I watched The Moguls last night. Its a fantastic little gem of a film. Jeff Bridges is a legend but Ted Danson really takes the film with his performance as the uber-manly closeted gay Moose. 8/10 Really a brilliant film. Reminds me a lot of the feel of Little Miss Sunshine.

 

Also watched Return of the Pink Panther. Fucking classic. 8/10

[RedinSweden]

South african accents are very varied. I work with one from Cape Town and he sounds practically british.

[Mendoza]

Surely all South Africans sound like this?

 

[YOUTUBE]SiXNUaSjXRY[/YOUTUBE]

[El Rojo]

'In the Loop'. Is this stuff really funny to anybody that hasn't worked in a UK Govt Dept? I have and so appreciated the in-jokiness of it all, but I would think it has limited appeal beyond this rather narrow catchment. Watching it, I could almost hear the writer chuckling smugly to himself at another 'well observed' set piece.

 

It's not a patch on the series, which I thought was brilliantly done and a lot more accessible.

 

The film got really tedious after a while. And James Gandolfini was completely wasted in it.

[Mendoza]

Observe And Report- i laughed, quite a lot- 6.5/10.

[Tom R]

Step Brothers - funny. That's it really.

 

7 partridges out of pear tree.

[Rex Banner]

Funny People 7.5/10

Pretty funny, a little bit long near the end but overall I liked it and had quite a few chuckles.

[Ted]

Surely all South Africans sound like this?

 

[YOUTUBE]SiXNUaSjXRY[/YOUTUBE]

 

No, they should all sound like this:

 

[YOUTUBE]isHZcy0RKEE[/YOUTUBE]

[Lucky Pierre]

Inglourious Basterds - Absolutely amazing. From the bit with the Strudel and Milk to the bit where

Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal.

Hitler's brains get blown apart

.

 

8/10, but will probably rise to 9/10 when I watch it again.

[Thants]

Three miles north of molkom - 9/10

 

Please all go and see this film, you won't be disappointed. A brilliant documentary to go alongside Man on Wire, Grizzly Man and Touching the Void.

Released tomorrow

Three miles north of Molkom Film

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Extract **********

 

From the writer and producer of shows like King of the Hill and Beavis and Butthead, amongst other funny things, I was expecting to, at the very least, have a few belly laughs whilst watching this movie. You'd think a writer who can take two grunting animations and make you laugh would be able to write a film that at least raises an eyebrow with its humour. Alas, not in this case.

 

It's a shame because it has a good cast, with Jason Batman, Mila Kunis, J.K. Simmons and Ben Affleck all making appearances. Mila Kunis, who plays a petty but pretty fraudster, just disappears for much of the film, despite a large portion of the plot hinging on her character's actions. This results in the viewer having to take leaps of faith in order for her dull criminal sub-plot to work. You need to believe that Bateman's character falls for her in one brief encounter and that she can con the ball-less wonder character by just showing up; none of the necessary scenes to make you believe this could happen is actually played out in the script, in any way other than showing the audience that the ball-less wonder is a stupid moron and Bateman is under-sexed. There are huge jumps required to piece the script together, just so it runs smoothly. That isn't great for any film, let alone one where the target audience is... well, you'll have to take a leap of faith and trust that the insult I was going to use was really bad.

 

The only good, nay, passable thing about this film is Affleck's performance. He nails this sort of role because he doesn't over perform and won't just throw the jokes at you like a brick. He just rolls the lines out.

 

Sure, it isn't your typical Hollywood blockbuster, and it tries to make a story out of the mundane routines of life, but it was predictable, lacked laughs and any sort of enticing story. It seems like a load of scenes slammed together to lengthen the film's running time and when it reached that point, the book was slammed shut without any acceptable ending.

 

It tries to make the mudane funny, but ultimately it just ends up being plain Jane mundane. It's why this has slumped at the box office and it is why it won't sell many DVDs. It isn't worthy of posting a freshly curled shit, as with my 'goods' review, but it is worth ignoring and perhaps, just perhaps, that is the worse fate of all.

 

Adventureland **********

 

As this was written and directed by Greg Mottola, a link dislocated from the Judd 'I'm a total fucking weapon' Apatow chain, this movie had the warning lights flashing as soon as I looked at it on IMDB. Not the camp swirly ones that with no sound to back them up; the ones with epilepsy inducing flashes that are paired with the horn shaped sirens with sounds that ride roughshod over your ear drums, causing you to look like a spasticated breakdancer whilst you're writhing in pain and doing back spins on the floor. Those ones. You know the sort.

 

So, to say I was apprehensive would have been an understatement. Mottola also directed Superbad (directed by Judd 'I'm responsible for film abortions' Apatow) which is puerile, inane filth (a little like my review of it...). So, I was expecting more of the same Judd 'acting like a prick is funny' Apatow style sweary, juvenile, thoughtless attempt at comedy, but what I found was a heartfelt, awkward look at teenage love, and teenage lust, and teenage emotion, and teenage angst.

 

Each character had their place and role in the film; nothing and nobody was extraneous, and I really like that about a film. Nothing seemed false and everybody and every scene steadily chaperoned the film to its conclusion. For the most part, aside from one gripe that I'll come onto in a moment, the acting was genuine, subtle and never forced. Jesse Eisenberg plays the lead male and, despite having quite a long CV, I've never seen him in anything else, but was perfect for this role. He masterfully fumbles awkwardly through his summer job and his summer relationships. He would have completely stolen the show if it wasn't for Kristen Stewart, with whom I'm now infatuated. She was every bit as angsty and displayed every bit as much teenage awkwardness as Eisenberg. They just clicked on screen and the film, together with the actors, really pulled off the uncertainty of blossoming teenage love.

 

My only major criticism of the film is the casting of Ryan Reynolds. I think he was a poor choice to play the 'other guy'. I'm not saying the character was unnecessary; it wasn't. Having a Hollywood stud play that part was an error, in my opinion. It wasn't even that he acted poorly, he just irked me. A minor issue, at worst. At the beginning of this film he was billed as 'and' Ryan Reynolds which is code for 'and playing the ''I'm too good for this film''' cameo role is...'

 

This is a film that I will likely watch again, if only for the spectacular cinematography in the final few scenes. The ending, though every bit as obvious as all love stories, was even more enchanting than the rest of the film as the tones changed, which allowed it to punch home the moment with grace and emotion.

 

As for the rating, I flipped between 7/10 and 8/10. It probably deserves 7.51 so, as my stars won't separate, I just rounded up because I'm a thoroughly nice bloke.

 

---------

 

I apologise for my lack of succinctly. It was burning a hole into my soul, so I had to unleash. I also apologise to Judd 'let me off because I made 40 Year Old Virgin' Apatow. I've got another four films I've seen lately (Year One, The Hurt Locker, Pelham 123 and Punch Drunk Love) that I'll throw down at some point. I promise to keep them short.

[hamstrung]

Why are you putting film reviews in your signature and stuff?

 

Reviews should read

 

"Was shit 1/10"

 

"Was not shit 7/10"

 

etc

 

You'll break the new server with all your words.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Why are you putting film reviews in your signature and stuff?

 

Want to.