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Have you come across Aristide by Michael Tibber?

It’s the story of a young French boy on a boring holiday with his grandmother who is playing on his lilo at the seaside and then floats out to sea and ends up on a beach in England. My kids loved it. Well, I loved it

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I wasn't going to post about this because I feel like such a cunt about it might be therapeutic. I took our toddler to Marks & Spencer yesterday to pick up a couple of things to eat, I was standing at the cooked meats section & he was about 8 yards away giving me a cheeky wee look. I started saying, "Tommy, come here, come here & stand with Dad.", I was giving him my full attention at the time & he just done a Scooby Do-style exit stage left, I dropped my basket & sprinted after him only when I get to the bottom of the aisle (this was only 8 or 9 yards by the way) he was nowhere to be seen, I completely panicked & couldn't find him anywhere.

 

I was running about the shop shouting his name at the top of my voice & a couple of women came over to ask how old he was & what he looked like, this went on for what felt like a month (probably about 40 seconds) when a shop assistant grabbed me & said, "Are you looking for a wee boy, I think he's over here.". She took me towards the front of the shop & another assistant had stopped him on his way out the door, of course he comes over with her with a massive grin on his face. I was nearly in fucking tears when I saw the wee bastard but couldn't even give him a row I was that relieved. His Mum managed that when we got in though & lesson learned for me, he'll be getting his hand held tightly when we're out until he's about 30.

 

We found out last night that his cousin had done practically the same thing yesterday only she'd been hit by a car when she legged it (she's fine, it was just a bump), that actually made me feel a bit better if that makes any sense. Heart attack stuff.

My cousin's wee lad, about 3 or 4, disappeared in a supermarket a while back. I think he'd been missing nearly half an hour, it had got to the stage where there were tears involved from her and her other kids. Then a member of the public found him.... He'd somehow got himself in behind the bog rolls on the bottom shelf down an aisle and was just hiding in there for a laugh. Unbelievable...

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Have you come across Aristide by Michael Tibber?

It’s the story of a young French boy on a boring holiday with his grandmother who is playing on his lilo at the seaside and then floats out to sea and ends up on a beach in England. My kids loved it. Well, I loved it

I was well up for reading that but you've completely spoilt the storyline now! Spoiler alert

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I was well up for reading that but you've completely spoilt the storyline now! Spoiler alert

You should. And Flat Stanley

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The Box of Delights, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, Tom’s Midnight Garden, The Witches, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Wind in the Willows, The Children of Green Knowe, The Little Vampire books.

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And on a WW2 theme Goodnight Mister Tom, Carrie’s War, When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit.

 

 

 

 

 

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. Way too traumatic

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They've advised to avoid Dahl after a recent report said schools were overusing his work and ignoring more contemporary books. At least 8 or the 10 need to be in the past 10 years.

 

I'm starting with "The Loneliest Robot" https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B072B97BGJ/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 which is a good one for those of us who probably spend too much time on our devices and phones around our kids. 

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They've advised to avoid Dahl after a recent report said schools were overusing his work and ignoring more contemporary books. At least 8 or the 10 need to be in the past 10 years.

 

I'm starting with "The Loneliest Robot" https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B072B97BGJ/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 which is a good one for those of us who probably spend too much time on our devices and phones around our kids.

Living in the present bastards.

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They've advised to avoid Dahl after a recent report said schools were overusing his work and ignoring more contemporary books. At least 8 or the 10 need to be in the past 10 years.

 

I'm starting with "The Loneliest Robot" https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B072B97BGJ/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 which is a good one for those of us who probably spend too much time on our devices and phones around our kids.

Great books are great books. If Dahl is being overused then the modern writers need to up their game.

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This is probably useless for what you need Paulie, but this site...

 

https://www.storyberries.com

 

... has dug me out of a hole a couple of times when I haven’t gotten around to going to the library to swap my girl’s books for new ones. It’s definitely worth bookmarking for any dads with kids that are of an age where they still expect a bedtime story.

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Great books are great books. If Dahl is being overused then the modern writers need to up their game.

 

The phrase they used was "Dahl saturation" and a concern that teachers were not advancing their own knowledge sufficiently as they were using the same books year after year.

 

For the record I love Dahl. 

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I was initially on White van man levels of outrage when I read about Dahl saturation, but good parents should be reading Dahl to their kids anyway, I'm already halfway through reading BFG to Yara and she's not even 8 months.

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I was initially on White van man levels of outrage when I read about Dahl saturation, but good parents should be reading Dahl to their kids anyway, I'm already halfway through reading BFG to Yara and she's not even 8 months.

 

Repped for reading to your kid.

 

We did it pretty much from day one.  The benefits will see her through the rest of her life.  ToddleDs teachers have repeatedly told us that her intelligence and aptitude is down to being read to and stimulated.  Keep it up. 

 

Whenever a baby is born in my circles their first birthday present is the Dahl box set for when they're over.

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Great books are great books. If Dahl is being overused then the modern writers need to up their game.

Think the point is that teachers aren’t seeking out these books rather than they’re not there. There’s loads of great contemporary fiction for kids listed above.

 

However I think this idea of saturation is bullshit. If it’s great, it’s great - otherwise why have Shakespeare, Dickens et al on the national curriculum?

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My little girl has arranged for her friend to come round for tea tonight. This kid was born in America and moved here a couple of years ago. Her mum has now fucked off back to America, leaving the kid with her nan and grandad. 

 

We arranged this play date last Wednesday. The grandad said at the time “Yeah, sure, we’ve got no plans for Monday”

 

My missus got to the school this morning and the girl came running over shouting about it being her birthday today. Now if it was my kid/granddaughter I’d want to do something to celebrate her birthday. She’s only little. Mrs Turdseye asked if he wanted to rearrange and he said no.

 

Then when they were discussing what time he’d come and pick her up, he suggested 9pm because he had to drive into our town for something else at that time anyway. Erm, no, Turdsette is five, she’s got a 7:30 bedtime on school nights. So he said he’d come pick her up at 7 instead. 

 

How fucking callous is that? The kid’s got no mum or dad around and on her 6th birthday instead of doing something/treating her, the grandad wanted to drop her off at school in the morning and not see her until 9pm because that was a convenient time for him to drive the 15 minutes each way it would take to pick her up. 

 

Snide as fuck. Pissed me right off, it has. Now we’ve had to buy a last minute card, present, cake, etc so at least the kid has some kind of birthday. 

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