Little Things That Brighten Your Day

[Dr Nowt]

Sat in the local gardens enjoying the late afternoon sun yesterday. Pissed group of middle-aged couples approach, the harmlessly if tediously intrusive type, thinking they’re far wackier than they are and loudly tearing the arse out of any joke.
 

They started trying to involve us in how one of the husbands reckoned he could jump the river. I was enjoying the peace and quiet so idly said to him a couple of times this is the widest point and there’s a collapsed bank, you’d be best moving up a little way over there. Undeterred, he took a huge run-up but approached it at barely jogging pace.
 

She said you could hear my evil cackle ringing out the second I saw him come back past us, there was no way he was making it at that pace. He landed on said collapsed bank flat-footed, given he’d more or less gone from a standing start having done a Fernandes penalty-style check at the last minute, and pogoed backwards into the river.

 

Went down like a bag of shit flat on his back and it dropped off quite sharply right where he was into a deeper shelf filled with various stones and rocks. Did his best to put a brave face on it, coming up boisterously with both arms aloft cheering, but you could see he’d both properly twatted himself and was incredibly sheepish. The wife was all eye rolls and this isn’t the first time seethe. She then announced they had to get the train home and it would take them more than an hour. It’s not a short hop to the station from there.
 

Seconds later, one of his mates who’d been silent throughout sprinted at the bank further up where I’d been pointing and threw himself over head first, making it with plenty to spare and face-planting on the other side. The wife of matey in the drink had been videoing him at his insistence so I asked if there’s any chance of sharing it with me, but she wasn’t game, otherwise I’d be posting it in here. They then moped off with him soaked to the skin and head down while the other one strutted like Foghorn Leghorn.
 

One pound tins of gin and tonic, previously notable only for their metallic aftertaste, have never gone down so pleasantly.

[Anubis]

Always nice to see Rentool get a pummelling.

 

 

[Gnasher]

Mad Yanks, they're normally just fucking annoying but in very small doses...

 

 

[Chairman Meow]

Discovering that the previous owner of a recently acquired car was aware that grease and copaslip exist. 

[Redder Lurtz]

Out on the road. Stopping overnight in a hotel just outside Hook in Hampshire. The pub 5 mins walk down the road, The Hogget, specialise in awesome burgers. Yeaaaasssssssss!

[manwiththestick]

26 minutes ago, Chairman Meow said:

Discovering that the previous owner of a recently acquired car was aware that grease and copaslip exist. 

The joy of doing brakes on old cars and finding them not seized.

[Chairman Meow]

23 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

The joy of doing brakes on old cars and finding them not seized.

Exactly what I have been doing, every bolt that should have copaslip on them did, sliders all greased properly, wheel nuts actually torqued on and not tightened until the gun has smoke coming out of them. 

 

Makes a change from what normally happens when I get a car that is new to me of every job turning into me undoing the full service history that nowadays appears to involve everything other than actually servicing things. 

 

As a guy I watch on youtube who does engineering videos often says "make it easier for the next guy, because the next guy is probably you". 

[Harry's Lad]

We bought bikes for two of our Grandkids yesterday neither of whom had ridden without stabilisers. Today, they both learned how to ride.

Although I couldn't teach them myself, it brought back happy memories of when I taught our kids.

A proud, bittersweet moment.

[Preston Red]

Still being safe in the knowledge that Thatcher is dead. Not just dead but totally fucking rotten dead.

 

The fucking old cunt.

[Harry's Lad]

55 minutes ago, Preston Red said:

Still being safe in the knowledge that Thatcher is dead. Not just dead but totally fucking rotten dead.

 

The fucking old cunt.

That evil old bitch was rotten to the core long before she croaked.

A horrific example of a human being.

 

[Carvalho Diablo]

I've just interviewed a guy with the best name ever - OLD WANKY MCMILLAN.

 

I asked him if Old was his proper name or a nickname, he told me it's his real first name but everybody just calls him Wanky.

 

Hahahaha, thank fuck it was a telephone interview.

[Bjornebye]

6 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

I've just interviewed a guy with the best name ever - OLD WANKY MCMILLAN.

 

I asked him if Old was his proper name or a nickname, he told me it's his real first name but everybody just calls him Wanky.

 

Hahahaha, thank fuck it was a telephone interview.

Do you work at Viz? 

[Carvalho Diablo]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Do you work at Viz? 

Years ago I interviewed a guy called Tito Tit and a woman called Janet Satan.

[Bjornebye]

7 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Years ago I interviewed a guy called Tito Tit and a woman called Janet Satan.

Yes then haha

[Dr Nowt]

19 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

I've just interviewed a guy with the best name ever - OLD WANKY MCMILLAN.

 

I asked him if Old was his proper name or a nickname, he told me it's his real first name but everybody just calls him Wanky.

 

Hahahaha, thank fuck it was a telephone interview.

Haha. Me and some mates I worked with compiled a document with some of the gems over the years.

 

Wanka Burgess and Shakya Muff being some of the best I can remember. Deepak Dave and Benny Bender also good.

 

My favourite ever was Tom Amato though. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

2 minutes ago, Dr Nowt said:

Haha. Me and some mates I worked with compiled a document with some of the gems over the years.

 

Wanka Burgess and Shakya Muff being some of the best I can remember. Deepak Dave and Benny Bender also good.

 

My favourite ever was Tom Amato though. 

Once had a young lass in with her new baby daughter, heading next door to the Registrar's, was going to call the bairn Chlamydia.

[Carvalho Diablo]

My mate Kristian used to work in this factory with a fella called Tommy Watt. On his hard hat it read : T:WATT

[Dr Nowt]

46 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

My mate Kristian used to work in this factory with a fella called Tommy Watt. On his hard hat it read : T:WATT

 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Meeting complete strangers and having a pleasant conversation. Took my pup out for the first times this week, and loads of people were dead nice and eager to chat. Hard not to end the day beaming from ear-to-ear.

[General Dryness]

16 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

I've just interviewed a guy with the best name ever - OLD WANKY MCMILLAN.

 

I asked him if Old was his proper name or a nickname, he told me it's his real first name but everybody just calls him Wanky.

 

Hahahaha, thank fuck it was a telephone interview.

Disappointed that he doesn't show up under a google search. 

[General Dryness]

15 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

My mate Kristian used to work in this factory with a fella called Tommy Watt. On his hard hat it read : T:WATT

I used to communicate with a guy called Tony Watkins. His company email format was first initial and surname, so his was twatkins. I used to say it all as one word. Not directly to him, obviously. 

[Jairzinho]

 

7:43 - 7:48.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

On 13/08/2021 at 12:37, Carvalho Diablo said:

My mate Kristian used to work in this factory with a fella called Tommy Watt. On his hard hat it read : T:WATT

My brother went to school with a lad called Tony Hatton, who was always just To 'At.

[Remmie]

An end user at an old job was called Sedat Kunt. I also worked with a Saddam Hussein. One of the clients complained about Saddam obviously taking the piss by signing off an email with his name. The client got pulled into a disciplinary! 

[Dr Nowt]

Not really little in the scheme of things, but these stories of other people getting more of their lives back after fighting an un-winnable fight every day since birth never fail to get to me.
 

https://www.cysticfibrosis.org.uk/news/dancing-golfing-and-hiking-the-ochil-hills-one-year-of-kaftrio-0?fbclid=IwAR1JWNRolhiARJ3ZzDakO7dONRumEYyc4WpQZ_-gEHe__bpVLTtzkJ4fLmg