Lying to strippers...

[Trumo]

That'd be fucking brilliant, actually. You know it'd get viewers. Guaranteed titties and tomfoolery.

 

In the words of the Sugarhill Gang, jump on it kemosabe.

[Bjornebye]

fuck them the little rats. they make out like they are gonna bounce on your cock but all they do is blag money out of you.

 

if i wanna say i am captain of NASA's table tennis team then i fucking well will.

[Harry Squatter]

Went into one in London a few years back after playing in a spherical tournament, my mate was skint and said he could only afford 2 drinks, when some bird kept asking why he didn't want a dance he just said "I'm gay". The stripper found this fascinating and started talking to him about sucking cocks and being bummed, my mate kept up the pretence and went along with it pretending to have a boyfriend. She even stroked his cock and said "you sure I can't turn you to the dark side?".

 

Me and my other mate spent 70 quid on dances but I think he got turned on more than us without spending anything apart from his ale money.

[cochyn]

A mate had a dance once that was a fucking shambles: Got talking to this delightful black girl, did the deal and she took him to this dark little booth. Basically, she fucked it up by switching a lamp on behind her so she was backlit. Said it was like watching the opening titles to

', but with a little orange g-string bouncing around about two feet from his nose. Must have been Amateur Hour. Never been back. Edited March 20, 2013 by cochyn
To preserve 'my mate's' identity

[Harry Squatter]

Has the Shittest lap dance ever in some weird place called the Purple Lounge in Leeds, the bird was some dodgy eastern European and she checked her watch about 5 times during the dance then knocked my drink over. My mate went to some room upstairs and ended up getting stung for about 80 quid. When we came out completely underwhelmed my mate realised how much money he'd wasted and how shite his "special dance" was and he dropped to his knees in the street doing a Charlton Heston shouting "damn you, damn you all to heeeelll" the bouncers told us to fuck off.

[Rico1304]

I don't go often, usually stag dos etc, but whenever I do I always pretend to be innocent and shy. It's worked a treat a few times.

 

Think I've mentioned before that one of my exes danced her way through Uni - it turned her into a real man-hater. She said that all the dancers just see a walking wallet and do their best to empty that wallet (of it's cash, nothing else) as quickly as possible. This kind of ruined my first point.

[Bjornebye]

Hell no... I'm in L1ish... the fact you assume I did the deed is saying more about you than me!... she works abroad now still doing her ting... beak whore that she is... knew a lad that used to have his cousin rotten.. dirty business that.. but then I seen his cousin :drool: .. but then could ya?

 

judging by the above i'm unsure you are old enough to frequent a lap dancing bar?

[Magic Sponge]

 

And after reading your posts in slapper stories who the feck are you to judge! #bjornegone

 

What the fucks with the hash tag?

 

Negged obviously.

[Bjornebye]

And after reading your posts in slapper stories who the feck are you to judge! #bjornegone

 

Oh god. hashtag? bjornegone doesn't even make any sense you fucking birthday balloon.

[Bjornebye]

doesn't it?

 

jesus wept. you are fucking dim.

 

anyway someone on the FF pointed out that it is in reference to the abba tribute band... bjorn again. How 'bjorn gone' is funny or makes any real sense is beyond me, especially when I clearly haven't gone.

 

any cunt who posts on here using hashtags and smileys is a cunt of epic proportions. istvan kosma = the peoples cunt.

[TheHowieLama]

any cunt who posts on here using smileys is a cunt of epic proportions.

 

Hashtags maybe but....

 

[Bjornebye]

are you kidding? I'll fuck you up with a poll you cunt. hahaha

[TheHowieLama]

are you kidding? I'll fuck you up with a poll you cunt. hahaha

 

Bring it.