Definitely true things you've heard about Footballers

[VladimirIlyich]

Marcel Desailly usually hires Jim Davidson to make after dinner speeches at parties he hosts.

Ron Atkinson often does a story or two.

[SlugTrail]

Adam Bogdan is Tony Moanero in a wig, the worst thing is Tony is ginger as well.

 

taps nose, you heard it here first.

[TheHowieLama]

The wig is inside out.

[SlugTrail]

Luis Van Gaal actually coined the phrase "cornholio".

[SlugTrail]

cesc fabregas was once caught by an Arsenal team mate fingering a squirel a week before he got transferred to barcelona, turned out it was arsene's squirel.

[VladimirIlyich]

cesc fabregas was once caught by an Arsenal team mate fingering a squirel a week before he got transferred to barcelona, turned out it was arsene's squirel.

He said it was a birthday squeasant.

[Trumo]

Leon Osman can confirm that the word 'Hello' echoes 71 times in the Everton trophy room, having accidentally been locked in overnight once as part of a hazing ritual for youth trainees.

[Trumo]

Adam Johnson groomed a 15 year old for sex.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Simon Mignolet and Christian Benteke were brought up on a diet of Belgian Waffles and Stella Artois. They both were avid viewers of Poirot and Tintin growing up. Spent hours in front of the TV and developed agoraphobia and stigmatiisms in their eyes.

 

Kevin De Bruyne and Edin Hazard had Hippy parents who banned Tv and were vegetarians. They led an outdoor life. Draw your own conclusions.

[Bjornebye]

Howard Kendall once got so annoyed with Gordon Strachan for calling a napkin a napkin and not a serviette that he covered the outspoken scotsman in oxtail soup.

[Trumo]

Asamoah Gyan plays in China but refuses to celebrate the Chinese New Year because he was born in the year of the aardvark.

[waddy78]

Christian Benteke is not worth £32.5m

[Trumo]

Every time Shola Ameobi moves house, he takes the front door with him.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Tomas Rosicky has never seen a duck.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Lucy Bronze played the baby in the 1992 film "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle."

[thegreatelephant]

Millionaire footballer Adam Johnson's girlfriend is standing by him because she loves him. It's a tale of loyalty that brings a tear to ones eye. They are like a modern day Romeo and Juliet and there rumours of a Hollywood screenplay in the offing.

[moof]

She's clearly a vapid joke of a human being

 

Edit: wrong thread

[RED Tezza]

John Fashanu was successfully sued by Kriss Akabusi in the early 2000's over Fashanu's useage of Akabusi's catchphrase of Awooga! 

 

a court ordered Fashanu to pay Akabusi in cod fillets. due to Fashanu decalring bankrupcy and a lack of liquid assets.

 

unable to acquire the requisite number of fillets means that Fashanu now has to live in Nigeria 11 months of the year 

[Mathewbet1]

Joe Allen has a black mans willy

[RED Tezza]

David N'gog is considering legal action over Joe Allen having his willy 

[Trumo]

Joel Campbell is Tory wannabe Sol Campbell's son.

[Trumo]

Wes Hoolahan couldn't pick Dave out of a line-up of slapheads..

[RED Tezza]

Peter Beardsley is not related to Russell Beardsmore but is a cousin of Alice Beard formerly of Watchdog 

[littletedwest]

Adam Johnson once had sex with someone over the age of 16

[Trumo]

Jason Roberts doesn't believe that all those Kris Akabusi stories are true.