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Definitely true things you've heard about Footballers

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#3. Former Scotland centre back Colin Hendry travels the U.S. selling hair extensions to African American women and calls himself The Bouffantanator.

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#4. Once world renowned Arsenal midfield Anders Limpar now works as a petrol station attendant in Solihull, where he has been accused of eating all the Walnut Whips on two separate occasions by the franchise holder.

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Danny invincible is vulnerable to insette hairspray. He inherited his family name which derives from a time one of his ancestors ate half a sandwhich before realizing the bread was mouldy.. He finished the sandwhich.

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#7. Gary Linakers love of Walkers crisps led him to surgically replace his inner ear drums with crisps during the 2010 World Cup. This has the added benefit of being unable to hear Alan Shearer.

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Hilariously' date=' race-card specialist Clarke Carlisle has never actually been to the sleepy borders hamlet of Carlisle.[/quote']

 

City hombre, city.

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Rod Fanni of Olympique de Marseille is the official "Best Comedy Footballer Name Ever", narrowly beating off the challenge of Brian Pinas.

 

Honourable mention goes to former Portuguese international goalkeeper Quim.

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Legendary Dutch midfield tyro Ruud Gullit bought a machine off Dinsdale Piranha, in the Tap Room of the Duck & Drake, that allows you to reseal packets of Reveals; only noticeable to the most astute of observers.

 

Mrs Gullit has been convinced that orange Revels have been discontinued for three years now, poor bastard.

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Marouanne Fellaini breeds Zebra Finches and likes to keep them in his hair. On match days he ofcourse removes them, they are looked after by Bill Kenwright in his Wool shop.

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    • Isn't that exactly what VAR is supposed to do, pick up on the shit the onfield referee misses? 
    • Wrong. 
        Not with a fucking breakfast. 
    • Good hope we get a butcher's at him tomorrow 
    • Your energy supplier has gone bust This advice applies to England  Print You’ll still have gas and electricity if your energy supplier goes out of business.  The gas and electricity regulator, Ofgem, will move you to a new supplier. This usually takes a few weeks. Wait for your new supplier to contact you. They’ll explain what will happen with your account. Contact your new supplier if you don’t hear from them within 2 weeks. You can check who’s taken over your energy supply if you’re not sure who your new supplier is. If your energy supplier goes out of business Don’t switch tariff or supplier until your account is moved to the new supplier. You might find it harder to get any money you’re owed if you switch before this happens. If your account is in credit If your account is in credit your money is protected, unless you’re a small business customer. Your new supplier will tell you how you’ll be paid back. If you’re a small business customer If you’re a small business customer, Ofgem will try to choose a supplier that can refund some or all of your credit, but this is not guaranteed. Wait for your new supplier to contact you. They’ll tell you what will happen to your credit. If your new supplier can’t refund your credit, contact your old supplier’s administrator. The administrator will take control of your old supplier and handle their debts. You can find their details on your old supplier’s website. Contact the administrator to register as a creditor - this is someone who is owed money. You’ll need to prove your account with the old supplier was in credit.  You can do this with past bills or statements. If you have an online account, it’s also a good idea to log into it to check your balance and download any bills or statements. The administrator may be able to repay some of your credit. This can take a long time - sometimes more than a year. The amount you get depends on how much the old supplier owes to all of its creditors. While you’re waiting to hear from your new supplier If you have an online account, it’s a good idea to log into it, check your balance and download any bills.  Before your new supplier contacts you, you should: take meter readings - it’s useful to take a photo of your meter readings too keep any old bills you have - these can help prove your payment history, credit balance or debt make a note of your account balance - you’ll find this on your most recent statement If you pay by direct debit, don’t cancel it straight away. Wait until your new account is set up before you cancel it. When you know who your new supplier is Your new supplier will write to tell you when your new account has been set up. This should happen within a few weeks. Your new tariff might be more expensive than the old one. You should contact your new supplier to make sure you’re on the best tariff for you. You can switch if you’re not happy with your new supplier or tariff. You can do this without paying an exit fee.  Don’t switch tariff or supplier until your account is moved to the new supplier. You might find it harder to get any money you’re owed if you switch before this happens.  Read our advice about switching to a different supplier. If you made a complaint to your old supplier that hasn't been resolved, you should raise it again with your new supplier. If you get the Warm Home Discount If you're on the priority services register If you have a smart meter If you have a prepayment meter If you were in debt to your old supplier If you were paying a debt to your old supplier you’ll still have to pay this back.  Wait for your new supplier to contact you. If they’re taking on your debt, they’ll let you know.  If the new supplier isn’t taking on your debt, you’ll have to pay an administrator instead - this is an organisation that takes over a company that goes bust. If your new supplier takes on your debt Your new supplier will usually contact you to arrange a payment plan. If you’re struggling to pay, they have to help you find a way to pay.  You should try to negotiate a deal that works for both of you. Find out what to do if you’re struggling to pay your energy bills if you need help with this. If you have to pay an administrator The administrator will collect debts for your old supplier. You might get a bill from the administrator instead of your old supplier.  If you were using a prepayment meter to pay off your debt, you might not be able to use the meter to pay the administrator. They’ll tell you how to pay. You might be asked to pay all of your debt back at once. This is because administrators don’t have to follow the same payment rules as energy companies.  You should still try to negotiate a payment plan with the administrator. They should consider this even if they do not agree to it. Speak to your new supplier if your debt means you’re struggling to pay your energy bills.  If you get a large bill you didn’t expect, you should check it against your old bills and statements. If you’re not able to pay, contact the administrator that sent you the bill to discuss your options. Get more help If you need more help, contact the Citizens Advice consumer helpline. You can also contact the consumer helpline if you think an administrator has treated you unfairly or aggressively
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