Instant cunt identifiers

[Jairzinho]

A Fjallraven Kanken (yeah, I had to search the name) backpack.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Anyone wearing a 'Canadian Goose Down' Jacket.

The majority you see are blag ones as well I'll lead to believe. Manchester market is full of copies for £80 rather than £400+

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

A Fjallraven Kanken (yeah, I had to search the name) backpack.

My daughter has had one for years, I know, I paid £75 for it. Little hipster. Her not me.

[Tony Moanero]

Anyone wearing a 'Canadian Goose Down' Jacket.

I've disliked Canada Goose for donkey's years, ever since I saw David Moores wearing it.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I highly doubt the Canada Goose jackets knocking about Bootle have been purchased for the £800 retail, its more Bootle Rat at 40 quid a pop.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I highly doubt the Canada Goose jackets knocking about Bootle have been purchased for the £800 retail, its more Bootle Rat at 40 quid a pop.

 

Canada Pigeon 

[cloggypop]

The proper ones are probably way too hot for Liverpool anyway. Supposed to be -5 here today before wind chill and it's still too warm for my big Fjallraven coat.

[Alan Sex]

Can’t fault people for wearing them round here when it’s -20 or so.

 

Then again, they are made for this - not -2 and a bit of a breeze.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Clients I have who will only see a female Doctor, fuck off.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

What’s the fucking point of a 2 slice toaster. If you have one then cl army you are a cunt. Toast should be eaten 3 slice minimum.

[Section_31]

Anyone who studies or teaches sports science.

[ZonkoVille77]

New lad started in the office on another team from me, web UI developer or some other poncy thing.

Anyhow I said good morning to him when I was grabbing a cuppa and within 5 mins I found out how many kids he had, where he travels from, where he used to work, how he was a team lead in his last 3 places and this role is a step down, how he could earn more if he wanted to, how he used to work from home whilst juggling the management of his teams, what car he has now and how it's not as good as his last 3 cos the missus wants a smaller engine for insurance purposes, when he plans to retire, how he doesn't like to buy lottery tickets cos, ye know, life is what you make it and winning would leave him feeling empty.

 

A 100 carrot cunt. I'm giving this gobshite a massive swerve. I'm already making a mental note now to avoid the spaz at the next Christmas party.

 

EDIT: I've just heard him say good morning to some bloke in Spanish. Wanker.

[Jairzinho]

Superb, that, Zonko. 

 

It's like he has a cunt checklist.

[s(k)aturation]

New lad started in the office on another team from me, web UI developer or some other poncy thing.

Anyhow I said good morning to him when I was grabbing a cuppa and within 5 mins I found out how many kids he had, where he travels from, where he used to work, how he was a team lead in his last 3 places and this role is a step down, how he could earn more if he wanted to, how he used to work from home whilst juggling the management of his teams, what car he has now and how it's not as good as his last 3 cos the missus wants a smaller engine for insurance purposes, when he plans to retire, how he doesn't like to buy lottery tickets cos, ye know, life is what you make it and winning would leave him feeling empty.

 

A 100 carrot cunt. I'm giving this gobshite a massive swerve. I'm already making a mental note now to avoid the spaz at the next Christmas party.

 

EDIT: I've just heard him say good morning to some bloke in Spanish. Wanker.

 

 

Beautiful.

[General Dryness]

New lad started in the office on another team from me, web UI developer or some other poncy thing.

Anyhow I said good morning to him when I was grabbing a cuppa and within 5 mins I found out how many kids he had, where he travels from, where he used to work, how he was a team lead in his last 3 places and this role is a step down, how he could earn more if he wanted to, how he used to work from home whilst juggling the management of his teams, what car he has now and how it's not as good as his last 3 cos the missus wants a smaller engine for insurance purposes, when he plans to retire, how he doesn't like to buy lottery tickets cos, ye know, life is what you make it and winning would leave him feeling empty.

 

A 100 carrot cunt. I'm giving this gobshite a massive swerve. I'm already making a mental note now to avoid the spaz at the next Christmas party.

 

EDIT: I've just heard him say good morning to some bloke in Spanish. Wanker.

Keep in touch. If I ever find out I've got something incurable, I'll pay this cunt a visit and make him cry. And put the video on YouTube.

[Trumo]

New lad started in the office on another team from me, web UI developer or some other poncy thing.

Anyhow I said good morning to him when I was grabbing a cuppa and within 5 mins I found out how many kids he had, where he travels from, where he used to work, how he was a team lead in his last 3 places and this role is a step down, how he could earn more if he wanted to, how he used to work from home whilst juggling the management of his teams, what car he has now and how it's not as good as his last 3 cos the missus wants a smaller engine for insurance purposes, when he plans to retire, how he doesn't like to buy lottery tickets cos, ye know, life is what you make it and winning would leave him feeling empty.

 

A 100 carrot cunt. I'm giving this gobshite a massive swerve. I'm already making a mental note now to avoid the spaz at the next Christmas party.

 

EDIT: I've just heard him say good morning to some bloke in Spanish. Wanker.

 

I bet he never mentioned any of that in his interview.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Worked with a lad nearly 30 years ago who looked, dressed and acted like Gareth from the Office. Hair and suit identical, in the TA, wore Para gloves and had imitation firearms, also thought he was gods gift.

[Trumo]

Random House, for publishing absolutely any old shite by wannabe (geddit?) celebrities.

[lifetime fan]

Some fucking twat at the bottom of the road is washing his car and throwing buckets of water over it.

 

The water is freezing almost as soon as it’s hitting the road and it’s going to be like an ice rink.

 

Fucking idiot.

[Dr Nowt]

"'Ola, Compadres."

[Trumo]

Some fucking twat at the bottom of the road is washing his car and throwing buckets of water over it.

 

The water is freezing almost as soon as it’s hitting the road and it’s going to be like an ice rink.

 

Fucking idiot.

 

That silly bint with the cleaning business will be zooming along at 60mph any minute now.

[King Emlyn]

Nearly 8 years old this thread and still the biggest cunt identifier is people who begin a sentence with the word So

[Harry Squatter]

Fellas who make out they are Jimmy the Greek or Ace Rothstein because they bet tons of cash on dead certs that win them virtually fuck all back. One fella my mates know was making out he'd had the bookies off with some ace gambling strategy by betting £140 and getting £167 back.

[lifetime fan]

Anyone that brags about being up with the bookies is usually bullshitting.

[Harry Squatter]

Yep. Defo.

 

People who excessively use hashtags for everything are usually cunts too.