The world of a woman.

[Lee909]

[lifetime fan]

Marone.

 

I’m tempted to put that on fb as a wind up and see who bites...

[Remmie]

I’m tempted to put that on fb as a wind up and see who bites...

I'll share it on your page and tag Amy!

[lifetime fan]

I'll share it on your page and tag Amy!

 

Hahahaha

[Special K]

Came to bed earlier only for her to shout up the stairs that she couldn't find the house key. I shouted back where I thought it was, no joy. I then shouted that they must be in the car. No sign of movement outside. I get up and come downstairs, get the car key and have a look. There they are.

 

"It's not difficult to find them if you look properly". Now she's not taking to me and I've got the bed to myself

 

I feel like the 'Curb Your Enthusiasm" theme should be playing

[Champ]

Mrs Niallers just sent me this.

I'll not even bother responding.

They're all weird.

 

WOMAN

● changes her name

● changes her home

● leaves her family

● moves in with you

● builds a home with you

● gets pregnant for you

● pregnancy changes her body

● she gets fat

● almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pain

of child birth

● even the kids she delivers bear your name

Till the day she dies... everything she does... cooking, cleaning your

house, taking care of your parents, bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed,

maintaining all family relations, everything that benefits you.....

sometimes at the cost of her own health, hobbies and beauty.

So who is really doing whom a favour?

Dear men, appreciate the women in your lives always, because it is

not easy to be a woman.

*Being a woman is priceless*

Oh, shut up!

[Harry Squatter]

Came to bed earlier only for her to shout up the stairs that she couldn't find the house key. I shouted back where I thought it was, no joy. I then shouted that they must be in the car. No sign of movement outside. I get up and come downstairs, get the car key and have a look. There they are.

 

"It's not difficult to find them if you look properly". Now she's not taking to me and I've got the bed to myself

 

I feel like the 'Curb Your Enthusiasm" theme should be playing

Too late. You are married now.

[Mook]

There was one of those women on the train this morning who just can't shut up for a minute, she was telling some poor, bored looking bastard about her daughter's trip to a local farm...

 

"She loves to get stuck in with feeding the donkeys & the pigs in the mud, she's a real naturist."

 

I chuckled to myself.

[Special K]

Too late. You are married now.

Divorce is always an option!!!

[VladimirIlyich]

Women seem to refuse to write shopping lists so obviously end up missing out on stuff you actually need and buying stuff you don't. My missus and my mum are both like this and it's exactly the reason why shops lay out their products the way they do and make so much cash. I always write a list and I'm done shopping in five minutes.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

Yer missus is yer Mum? Proper Runcorn then Vlad!

[Harry Squatter]

Me and my Mrs have just been speaking to her mate at school. I have been off all day and spent a nice day out with my Mrs.

 

Her mate has an unbelievably annoying habit of turning every conversation into her by cutting across you and changing the subject to something about her.

 

She asked us how our day went and about halfway through my Mrs telling her she interrupted her and started going on about what she did.

 

My Mrs then starts telling her about our holiday plans and again halfway through it she just cuts across and starts telling us about where she wants to go next year. I have no worked with women before who try to direct the conversation to them but only when there is a pause or silence. This twat doesn't even bother with anything gets like that.

 

I then told her about my mates stag do in Barcelona then she just changed the subject to a hen party in Benidorm. I just said "fuck this" and walked off.

 

This woman is on about 5 dating sites but mysteriously never has a second date with any of the men she meets.

[Fowlers God]

Me and my Mrs have just been speaking to her mate at school. I have been off all day and spent a nice day out with my Mrs.

 

Her mate has an unbelievably annoying habit of turning every conversation into her by cutting across you and changing the subject to something about her.

 

She asked us how our day went and about halfway through my Mrs telling her she interrupted her and started going on about what she did.

 

My Mrs then starts telling her about our holiday plans and again halfway through it she just cuts across and starts telling us about where she wants to go next year. I have no worked with women before who try to direct the conversation to them but only when there is a pause or silence. This twat doesn't even bother with anything gets like that.

 

I then told her about my mates stag do in Barcelona then she just changed the subject to a hen party in Benidorm. I just said "fuck this" and walked off.

 

This woman is on about 5 dating sites but mysteriously never has a second date with any of the men she meets.

Shit shag?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that was a joke before Champ starts

[Harry Squatter]

Shit shag?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that was a joke before Champ starts

Probably. She'd be giving you a blow job then start talking about where she wants to go on holiday next year.

[Fowlers God]

Her: Dan, who’s Freddie Mercury?

Me: oh fuck off

[lifetime fan]

Not sure if I've mentioned this on here before, a bird I knew was vegi and had been cooking with Worcestershire sauce for years. 

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

Her: Dan, who’s Freddie Mercury?

Me: oh fuck off

Her: Dan, why do I have to wear this muzzy and white vest whenever I give you a blow job?

[General Dryness]

Her: Dan, why do I have to wear this muzzy and white vest whenever I give you a blow job?

Dan : Its a kind of magic.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

Dan : Its a kind of magic.

Gold man (not anti-semitic)

[VladimirIlyich]

Yer missus is yer Mum? Proper Runcorn then Vlad!

Its the personality disorder.

[Rico1304]

It’s our wedding anniversary on Tuesday, I’ve bought the wife a handbag she’s been looking at all year. My plan was to nip to Manchester this afternoon and collect it whilst she’s taken Izzy to a party. They left 5 mins ago so I phoned to make sure it’s there and put my coat on. The wife comes back home as she’s forgotten something to find me in the hall in my coat. “Oh, going the pub are you?” I had to say I was popping to my mums so have been given a shopping list too. So now I’m in the bad books as she doesn’t believe me and I’ve got to go the fucking supermarket.

[lifetime fan]

It’s our wedding anniversary on Tuesday, I’ve bought the wife a handbag she’s been looking at all year. My plan was to nip to Manchester this afternoon and collect it whilst she’s taken Izzy to a party. They left 5 mins ago so I phoned to make sure it’s there and put my coat on. The wife comes back home as she’s forgotten something to find me in the hall in my coat. “Oh, going the pub are you?” I had to say I was popping to my mums so have been given a shopping list too. So now I’m in the bad books as she doesn’t believe me and I’ve got to go the fucking supermarket.

 

 

If you're in the bad books might as well go for a pint now mate.

[tokyojoe]

If you're in the bad books might as well go for a pint now mate.

Sound advice.

[TheBitch]

Agree with lifetime fan 100%

[Rico1304]

I’m in the pub now.