What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Remmie]

1 hour ago, Pete said:

 

Egg a little over done but apart from that really nice.  Perfect remedy after last night. 

The eggs have been cooked in a trouser press, mushrooms cooked in a deep fat fryer, they'll taste of pure grease, tomatoes have been milked, cunt beans, cunt plate, dry cunt toast. 

 

Pen a welcomed random object though would prefer something a bit more bizarre. 

[TheHowieLama]

Pete's offering looks quite good except for the eggs done in forms - hate.

 

At first I thought Stig's was at table 15 until I realized that was the age of his escort.

[Barrington Womble]

3 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

It was self service and the scrambled egg looked too fit to ignore. 

I've never had a good scrambled egg on a buffet. It looks shit in that picture. And it needs beans. And the sausages not burnt. 

[ZonkoVille77]

1 hour ago, Fugitive said:

I got fucking ruined on here because I put brown sauce on my roast potatoes.

 

You put kiddy bait all over your breakfast and not a word is spoken. This site is like Epstein’s give.

 

Brown sauce on a roast is delicious. 

[Fugitive]

2 minutes ago, ZonkoVille77 said:

 

Brown sauce on a roast is delicious. 

Good man

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Zonk & Fuge wear NAMBLA badges.

[Fugitive]

19 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Zonk & Fuge wear NAMBLA badges.

You wear little girls underwear

[AngryOfTuebrook]

42 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

You wear little girls underwear

When you've got tackle like mine it's the only thing that fits.

[Pete]

5 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Did you ask for the Sahara toast? 

It was buttered. Just melted already. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

On 27/09/2022 at 19:32, lifetime fan said:

Following yesterday’s breakfast this morning I watched a fat cunt with a Bolton accent put 4 slices of toast on a plate, 2 fried eggs on each slice of toast, cover the eggs in beans and then use about a third of a bottle of ketchup on top the beans. 
 

Fuck I wish I’d had my phone on my to get a photo. 

I'm not from Bolton you cheeky cunt.

[Fugitive]

5 hours ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

When you've got tackle like mine it's the only thing that fits.

Don’t tell Rico 

[Bjornebye]

14 hours ago, Pete said:

It was buttered. Just melted already. 

Nah mate I’ve zoomed in no chance 

[Captain Willard]

This is a British painting from the 1920s. The wife is buttering the bread before slicing it. Apparently this used to be socially acceptable along with hanging and badger baiting. Times have changed. 

[YorkshireRed]

19 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

This is a British painting from the 1920s. The wife is buttering the bread before slicing it. Apparently this used to be socially acceptable along with hanging and badger baiting. Times have changed. 

The bloke on the bottom left, with the switchblade in his right hand, is well known to have put a stop to the practice. 
 

He also escaped the hangman’s noose by deploying a ‘fuck that shit’ defence. 

[Bob]

@DalyanPete we’re bloody waiting…

[Atticus Finch]

Corner house café in Grassington. £9.50 includes a tea or coffee. 
The bean juice overflowing on to the plate will tip a few on here over the edge but overall a 6/10 effort. Loses a point for a slightly over cooked egg. 
 

[Bob]

6 minutes ago, Atticus Finch said:

Corner house café in Grassington. £9.50 includes a tea or coffee. 
The bean juice overflowing on to the plate will tip a few on here over the edge but overall a 6/10 effort. Loses a point for a slightly over cooked egg. 
 

Lovely spot for breakfast. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

Has to be tinned plum tomatoes for me at a push chopped. That half tomato shite added like an after thought no thanks. 

 

Tomatoes when you go abroad are as good as sweets, I could just buy a bag and eat them like m&ms.

[Pidge]

Not a fan of tinned tomatoes, would rather have nothing at all. A fried fresh tom is lovely.

[YorkshireRed]

24 minutes ago, Atticus Finch said:

Corner house café in Grassington. £9.50 includes a tea or coffee. 
The bean juice overflowing on to the plate will tip a few on here over the edge but overall a 6/10 effort. Loses a point for a slightly over cooked egg. 
 

A point back on for being in beautiful Grassington. A point off for the triangular toast. 
 

As you were.

[Fugitive]

Bensons of Glasgow…

 

 

[Fugitive]

Bensons you utter utter cunts. You didn’t even bother to cook the bacon or sausage, just threw the raw ingredients in a tray and volleyed it out the door to the delivery driver.

 

 

[lifetime fan]

Why not have a go at cooking your own Fug? 
 

There’s no way it could be worse. 

[TheHowieLama]

I don't see how a delivered brekkie could be anty good. Lukewarm, slightly congealed, wet. Yuck.

[Fugitive]

11 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Why not have a go at cooking your own Fug? 
 

There’s no way it could be worse. 

Because I’m on a mission to find one place in Glasgow that can cook a breakfast properly. 
 

It has to be the worst place in Britain for fry ups but I’m a dreamer and I’ve not given up hope that there is one place to save them.

 

Bensons can go and fucking set themselves on fire though, the fucking shit cunts.