A Bad Arse May be Forthcoming

[Section_31]

Had some spicy a da meatballs before and one of them tasted funny, it was mushy and when I looked at it it was pink inside. The old girl put the rest back in the pan for a bit and I polished them off, but I reckon the damage has been done. My guts are groaning like a U-Boat which is well below its crush depth, and I've just done a floating shit which had the consistency of a mimetic polyalloy, and which can only be described as 'orange'. It's also refusing to flush.

[Nick Leeson]

At which point does the internet become filled with too much information?

[Anubis]

Should have stuck to the American Pancakes....

[Juniper]

Had some spicy a da meatballs before and one of them tasted funny, it was mushy and when I looked at it it was pink inside. The old girl put the rest back in the pan for a bit and I polished them off, but I reckon the damage has been done. My guts are groaning like a U-Boat which is well below its crush depth, and I've just done a floating shit which had the consistency of a mimetic polyalloy, and which can only be described as 'orange'. It's also refusing to flush.

 

You have bum aids, prepare to die. I give you 3 hours

[Red Phoenix]

Use a coathanger to unblock the bog.

[Nick Leeson]

what meat were the balls made of? If it was beef you'll be alright. If it was pork, heaven help you.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I had an awesome shit about 20 minutes ago. I had a few pints and a shit load of food a

t a noodle bar and came home and straight to the bog

 

It had everything; drama, tension, joy, agony, ecstacy, pain and ultimately pleasure. It was easily the best dump of my life and was almost orgasmic at the end

[Juniper]

Prepare

 

[Section_31]

I'm in 'Curry Worry' mode at the moment. It's kind of like Defcon 4 where you're thinking each fart could potentially lead to you following through.

 

The stages are:

 

 

3: Curry Worry

2: Curry Hurry

1: Curry Slurry

[Nick Leeson]

Havent you got your defcons the wrong way round there? Isn't 5 like world war 3 and defcon 1 is like a stare-down?

[Section_31]

Havent you got your defcons the wrong way round there? Isn't 5 like world war 3 and defcon 1 is like a stare-down?

 

Nah, Defcon 5 is standard peacetime and Defcon 1 is war.

[Section_31]

Would drinking a full bottle of vodka not kill the bugs before they kill you?

 

Just after I'd eaten it I thought about drinking some salt water like in Casino Royale to make myself spew, but I couldn't be arsed and just carried on eating the spagheti instead while the old girl warmed the meatballs up properly.

 

Woah, that was close, god bless dark jeans.

[King Emlyn]

Man, you know as i do, you're just gonna have to pay.

[Unrighteous]

The vodka idea is a good call, the ethanol in it should sort out your gut a bit.

[Anubis]

Use a coathanger to unblock the bog.

When I first started reading that sentence I thought you were going to suggest doing something else with the coathanger....

[ISeeRed]

I had an awesome shit about 20 minutes ago. I had a few pints and a shit load of food a

t a noodle bar and came home and straight to the bog

 

It had everything; drama, tension, joy, agony, ecstacy, pain and ultimately pleasure. It was easily the best dump of my life and was almost orgasmic at the end

 

I think there could be an idea for a new TV show there. How about 'Celebrity Come Dumping'? Perfect entertainment for a Sunday evening - a bunch of celebs each have a shit on stage, their performance is rated by a panel of experts & the winner is decided by a public phone-in. Lovely.

[Guest davelfc]

I think there could be an idea for a new TV show there. How about 'Celebrity Come Dumping'? Perfect entertainment for a Sunday evening - a bunch of celebs each have a shit on stage, their performance is rated by a panel of experts & the winner is decided by a public phone-in. Lovely.

 

Even better they could just get those two arse cheeks 'ant & dec' to stand close together and anything that comes out between them is shite.

 

Oh hang on, they're already doing that.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I think there could be an idea for a new TV show there. How about 'Celebrity Come Dumping'? Perfect entertainment for a Sunday evening - a bunch of celebs each have a shit on stage, their performance is rated by a panel of experts & the winner is decided by a public phone-in. Lovely.

 

It's got legs that. The two with the lowest amount of votes would have to have a "shit off" where they took laxatives and had to see how far they would squirt the remaining material in their bowels. It would be decided on distance, arc, splat factor. I propose that myself, davelfc and IseeRed are the judges. Hopefully one of you is a fit woman

[Hand Shandy]

We need an update.

[hamstrung]

I am experimenting http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/76789-whats-your-favourite-beer-7.html at the moment

 

These beers do strange things to your insides.

[Hand Shandy]

So true.

 

I used to be a Guinness man, and you know what you're getting after a night on the black stuff.

 

Have recently started to drink more real ale, and tend to move around trying different beers.

 

It's like playing the National Lottery every time you go in the khazi the morning after.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I had a few pints of cloudy cider from the Dispensary last night and my morning turd had the faint smell of apples. Was joyful

[Cardie]

I think there could be an idea for a new TV show there. How about 'Celebrity Come Dumping'? Perfect entertainment for a Sunday evening - a bunch of celebs each have a shit on stage, their performance is rated by a panel of experts & the winner is decided by a public phone-in. Lovely.

 

 

Celebrity Cum Dump?

[ReddOrDedd]

 

Celebrity Cum Dump?

 

 

 

 

"... a floating shit which had the consistency of a mimetic polyalloy, and which can only be described as 'orange'."

[Total Longo]

 

Celebrity Cum Dump?

 

I would.

 

That pic has made me want to go for a big turd now as well. Well done Jodie.