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George Osborne’s Impending Wedding

Anubis

By Anubis,
in GF - General Forum

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Anubis Grand Master

Anubis

Posted
Posted

So, looks like somebody has sent the guests a little hors d'oeuvre.

 

 

 

  1. From: To Tell The Truth <totellthetruth0719@gmail.com>
  2. Date: Thursday, 6 July 2023 at 15:23
  3. To:<>
  4. Subject: URGENT: George And Thea Wedding!
  5.  
  6. There’s rather a wide variety of people who’ll get this email. If you’re one of the lucky ones, then you’re either: one of George Osborne and Thea Rogers’ wedding guests, one of their close friends, their family, someone working for those people or someone in the profession of journalism, someone hosting the wedding or someone for whom the information in this email might prove useful.
  7.  
  8. If you’re a Spad reading this email meant for your boss, do them a favour and chuck it their way. They’ll want to see if their dirty little secrets are aired in it after all.
  9.  
  10. If you're a priest or whoever's meant to be carrying out the happy service: you might want to know this before you go ahead with the holy oil.
  11.  
  12. And if you’re a journalist-or indeed, a politico for whom this information may come in handy-reading this? Pull up a chair, make a brew and get the popcorn. This email is being sent to every one of George Osborne and Thea Rogers’ wedding guests it’s possible to get hold of-and it's being shared with your eyes too.
  13.  
  14. Have fun.
  15.  
  16. Don’t worry: some screenshots are included at the end so you can see a little hint of just how many other lucky names got this email from the number of drafts waiting to be sent-lots and lots and lots of you (your email addresses leave much to be desired, some of you)-and there are plenty of sources linked here, all of whom got their words past their well-remunerated lawyers, so you don't have to take this email's word for it. Journos, take a look around your offices-it's likely at least someone else will have made the cut. Spads, you know from a little glance at the addresses at the top that your whole offices will have been graced with this. And family-well. It won't take long for you to find out just how many of you made the list. Time to start wondering which of your circle would know all your email addresses...
  17.  
  18. Feel free to share far and wide, my friends...
  19.  
  20. If one of the former categories-we’re sure you’re looking forward to attending the wedding of George and Thea this weekend. Couldn't be a better love story.
  21.  
  22. Except for the fact he’s been cheating on her, of course.
  23.  
  24. Remember Sir James Goldsmith-“When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy”? You can’t be that stupid, Matthea-someone will send this to you, it’s inevitable.
  25.  
  26. So. Who is it? Who’s the lucky girl?
  27.  
  28. Come on, you all know. SamCam’s little sister didn’t follow him into that job for no reason, after all.
  29.  
  30. Word of advice, George and Emily…maybe the Chiltern Firehouse isn’t the best place for a public shag. Or at least grind on each other a little less in the back room.
  31.  
  33.  
  35.  
  36. Of course, it isn’t a shock for Sasha Swire-oh, you’ll be loving this, Sasha, every inch of it. You knew all about it, didn’t you? Remember when you called Emily out on it a while back? Pretty public. Right over that nice big photo of George and Emily together.
  37.  
  39.  
  40. That picture was taken in February 2020, wasn’t it, George? When you and Thea were already dating? Because you were up at the Fife Arms with Thea in January….
  41.  
  42. And it was February 2020 that you were spotted at the Chiltern Firehouse with Emily…
  43.  
  44. But that isn’t the worst of it, is it, George?
  45.  
  46. Remember that night abroad? Your son Luke does. Charlotte Griffiths does, too. She’s tried to hint at it quite a few times.
  47.  
  49.  
  51.  
  53.  
  54. Interesting, that little comment-about that little rift between Luke and yourself. Why’d that happen, George?
  55.  
  56. Because Luke’s been telling everyone what happened that night in 2019. With you and that girl in a toilet cubicle. That girl who couldn’t even stand up. Remember her?
  57.  
  58. Of course, it’s not just that girl, is it?
  59.  
  60. How about that little girl in Bruton you came across that night? Remember that? Did you know she’d only just turned 16? How old were you then, George, 49? Thea was pregnant at the time, wasn’t she? November 2020, wasn’t it? That girl made some very interesting posts about it....
  61.  
  62. Same age as your daughter Liberty, just about. The one who worked at At The Chapel? Was it just a coincidence that your baby ended up with the same name?
  63.  
  65.  
  66.  
  67.  
  68. And what about that dinner party back in July 2021? A few days before Beau was born, in fact. Thea wasn’t with you. You were very interested in one young girl in particular, do you remember? Very young. Made no mention of your pregnant fiancée waiting at home for you, did you?
  69.  
  70. Is that why you had that big fight on the day Beau was born?
  71.  
  72. Speaking of which, what else have you kept from your guests, George? What other complaints about you? You’ve been keeping lots of secrets, haven’t you?
  73.  
  74. Now, surely you’ll be telling everyone right now that that’s not true, that there’ve been no complaints about your-let's say your behaviour whatsoever.
  75.  
  76. But you know there have been. And you know why. And it’s only a matter of time before everyone else knows too.
  77.  
  78. So sorry to shock you all. But honestly, you really shouldn’t be. After all, you’re all reading this pretending not to know that George and Thea started off as an affair, aren’t you?
  79.  
  80. Come on, now. You all know that. You just ignore it because it’s convenient. And because it makes you all feel a little less guilty about wanting to brush it under the carpet. After all, what does it matter to you what the two of them did to Frances over it?
  81.  
  82. You all knew what she was struggling with, after all. But that didn’t bother you. It was easier to brush under the carpet, wasn’t it?
  83.  
  84. (Remember that holiday to Turkey, by the way, back in 2013? School Easter holidays. Lovely trip. One of the kids was on crutches and you swanned off to business class and left Frances to take care of them alone? Or when you had the nerve to claim that you worried you’d “missed out on their childhood” through being Chancellor?
  85.  
  86. Of course, there were other treats. Like that time in Italy with Frances when you spent the whole dinner conversation ranting about Brexit when even the other tables got fed up with you. That nice photo of you and Luke on the beach with your cocktails-he's got rid of it now. Those Dads4Daughters days you used to turn up at at SPGS, going skating at Somerset House, taking them to Nicki's art classes, or that time in that pink camper van you took them in one summer so you could convince yourself you were a good daddy, even as you were texting your mistress on the side. How nice of you to give them a crumb of your attention. All the nice little stories to tell the press about your budgie and your hamster and helping with Mandarin homework-you'd almost think you loved your family.
  87.  
  88. And when Frances was having to hold things together while George was telling the world he’d “never been happier” with his lovely new do-over children and upgraded mistress, why would you care? It’s not like most of you haven’t done worse. And even then, she managed better than him. While George was gushing over his first do-over baby to the press, she and Sarah got themselves together and took their kids off to Ibiza for a holiday. Well, someone had to be good parents.
  89.  
  90. Don’t worry-a couple of you aren’t as shy behind closed doors. We all know you were leaking their affair to the press for months when it was going on. How else would they have known things like this:
  91.  
  93.  
  95.  
  97.  
  99.  
  100. (Nice one, Guido. Really owe you guys.)
  101.  
  102.  
  103.  
  104. Don’t worry, though-in case there’s any doubt left, Fraser Nelson confirmed it (thanks, Fraser). Skip to 5:35, for the bit George doesn’t want you to hear:
  105.  
  107.  
  108.  
  109.  
  110. And to make things really clear, so did Kate Fall’s BFF:
  111.  
  112.  
  113.  
  115.  
  116.  
  117.  
  118. Of course, Sarah Vine wasn’t shy about telling everyone. Thanks for that, Sarah. You really made life easier there:
  119.  
  121.  
  122.  
  123.  
  124. Steve Back was pretty helpful too. Remember him, George? The one who managed to get photos of you and Thea returning from your little overnight trips together? He has lots of stories to tell-and not just about you and Thea, either-he knew all about you and Emily too:
  125.  
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  159.  
  161.  
  163.  
  165.  
  167.  
  169.  
  171.  
  172.  
  173.  
  174. He was right about that hush money for Thea too, wasn’t he? Of course, you were breaking the ministerial code, but you weren’t going to care about that. You didn’t care about breaking up your family, after all (very church-like-imagine the priest will be reaching for the communion wine at this point):
  175.  
  176.  
  177.  
  179.  
  180.  
  181.  
  182.  
  183.  
  184.  
  185.  
  186. So much for worrying about being a good dad. Missing out on their childhoods didn’t seem to bother you when you were having those little overnight trips away with Thea, did you?
  187.  
  188. It wasn’t a surprise, though, that it was Thea. Breaking up James Purnell’s engagement, that’s old news.
  189.  
  190. But breaking up Craig Oliver’s marriage as well?
  191.  
  192.  
  193.  
  194.  
  196.  
  197.  
  199.  
  200. Yes, it’s not just Luke and Liberty she doesn’t care about-Maya, Iona and Honor were, what-10, 8 and 4 when you were holding hands with Craig and heading off to his hotel room at the Hyatt at that conference, Thea?
  201.  
  202. Did you not fancy being a stepmummy yet? Did you think you’d be able to get George’s kids out the way a bit more easily for the second-chance family?
  203.  
  204. Except you're not quite as kind a mummy figure to everyone as you'd like people to believe, are you? You’ve been keeping that quiet too.
  205.  
  206.  
  207.  
  209.  
  211.  
  212.  
  213.  
  214. Of course, it isn’t just Thea, George. Or Emily. (Tamara, George, really? You must have been pinching yourself. She was so out of your league.)
  215.  
  216. Then there’s Kate. Now, of course, Kate says nothing ever happened between you-but that’s not quite true, is it? After all, there’s a reason her and Thea don’t get on.
  217.  
  218. She’s another one Sarah mentioned a couple of weeks ago-thanks, Sarah, your work really has been invaluable:
  219.  
  221.  
  222.  
  223.  
  224. Honestly, you’d have been better off choosing Kate, George.
  225.  
  226. No wonder things haven’t been all sweetness and light between the two of you. How many times have you split up again? Few times while she was pregnant, wasn’t it?
  227.  
  229.  
  231.  
  233.  
  234.  
  235.  
  236. But then who could blame her? Everyone knows what they walk in on backstage with you, don’t they, George? Everyone knows what you get up to in the green rooms with those girls. Just get younger and younger, don’t they? No need to take this word for it-take a look at the screenshots at the end.
  237.  
  239.  
  240.  
  241.  
  242. Now, Thea’s temper’s old news-we all know she’s a bully. But did Thea know about your friends asking you to cancel the wedding, George? Because of that temper of hers’? Did you tell her? Because everyone else knows about it.
  243.  
  244. Don’t worry….just because it’s George and Thea’s turn today doesn’t mean the rest of your circle have been forgotten about. There are a LOT of skeletons dancing in all your closets….Just got to choose who’s next.
  245.  
  246. So, congratulations, George and Thea. It was thought your wedding guests deserved to know the real truth about you-all nicely sourced and backed up. Now, Thea, you get to walk up the aisle knowing that every single person in there knows the truth about how your relationship started-that you were only ever the second-choice mistress who got upgraded. But now every one of them knows George has cheated on you the whole time-and you’ve put up with it. So much for that pitbull reputation of yours. So much for you being the love of his life.
  247.  
  248. But more importantly than that-they know that you know just what he’s done. And you’re prepared to put up with it because you’re too scared to throw away what you’ve waited ten years for. One day, your children will know too. Everything you've lied about, everyone you've hurt to get what you want.
  249.  
  250. George-everyone knows what you’ve done. But more than that-they know the only reason you’re going through with this wedding is to save face. And it doesn’t matter if you call up every journalist that this gets sent to and stop it from ending up in the gossip pages of the papers-they still all know. Everyone knows what you've done and who you've hurt. Ironically, if you’d just cancelled the wedding the way you said you wanted to, you’d probably have come out of this looking much better.
  251.  
  252. So much for you never having been happier. Now you’ll have to walk through that wedding knowing that every single person there and beyond knows the truth about you and what you've done.
  253.  
  254. Congratulations
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sir roger
sir roger

Just stop oily bastards

Anubis
Anubis

I was joking when I initially posted that, but fair play to her. Dressed like the retired head of the local Conservative Association going to a wedding, kept her orange confetti in a Union Jack bag to

Remmie
Remmie

That was horrendous to read, not the list of hugely shocking misdemeanours but the way it was written like it was by a salty14 year old. 

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Trumo Grand Master

Trumo

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Remmie said:

That was horrendous to read, not the list of hugely shocking misdemeanours but the way it was written like it was by a salty14 year old. 

 

Brings to mind that fucking loon blackberryway and his/her obsession with Jonathan Shalit.

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Moctezuma Mentor

Moctezuma

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Remmie said:

That was horrendous to read, not the list of hugely shocking misdemeanours but the way it was written like it was by a salty14 year old. 

 

Agreed, I'll let others do the summarising, I'm not reading anymore of that

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Section_31 Grand Master

Section_31

Posted
Posted

I just hate these people, all of them. Petty, trivial halfwits whome fate has for some reason deigned to give both wealth and opportunity despite the fact they're all thick as fuck. Like a fungal infection that spreads out from the hallowed halls of Harrow and their donated-by-daddy soft furnishings in the headmaster's study.

 

"Oooh remember what you said at Sarah Vine's barbecue." 

 

In an ideal world Jesse Ventura would have been there with a minigun.

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