Shit that happens now that didn't happen when you were a kid

[Bjornebye]

Girls / Women with tattoos 

[Trumo]

You wake up with a groan, and not because you want an extra 5 or 10-minute lie-in.

[Rico1304]

4 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Girls / Women with tattoos 

Care homes in the future will be fun

 

Carer 1: Jordan needs her nappy changung

Carer 2: Which one is Jordan again?

Carer 1: She’s the one with a spiders web on her neck, a treble clef behind her ear and dolphin on her tit 

[Sugar Ape]

The hassle you have to go through to get tickets for anything. Not just the footy but concerts, stand up gigs etc... and also the amount you can resell tickets for instead of at, or near, face value like it seemed to be years ago. 

 

When Paul McCartney played Anfield in 2008 some woman I worked with queued up with her husband and kids to buy the maximum amount of tickets each to sell them on for profit and ended up with around 20 tickets, she could only sell about half of them and had to sell the rest for less than she paid and actually lost money overall, which pleased me. 
 

Now, if she could even get them after being in an internet queue for hours, she’d be selling them on stubhub for treble the value and getting it as well. 
 

I remember going the Auxerre game with my dad and just getting the tickets from the ticket office, now you have to have credits and all kinds of shit just to be eligible. Can’t be arsed with it all. 

[Trumo]

1 minute ago, Rico1304 said:

Care homes in the future will be fun

 

Carer 1: Jordan needs her nappy changung

Carer 2: Which one is Jordan again?

Carer 1: She’s the one with a spiders web on her neck, a treble clef behind her ear and dolphin on her tit 

 

It's on her tit? I thought it was on her knee.

[Section_31]

The police don't investigate crime, except for murder and bombs.

 

GPs won't see you unless you're old and have been queuing up since 6am.

 

Nobody is allowed to lift anything or do anything remotely risky in their jobs. When you used to get the ferry the blokes used to walk up the gangplank (while it was vertical) to get it to fall. Now it's all automated with exclusion zones. Bin men used to sling bins over their backs.

[Captain Howdy]

11 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Girls / Women with tattoos 

Massive turn off for me that, never ever seen one that looks good.

[Captain Howdy]

13 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Care homes in the future will be fun

 

Carer 1: Jordan needs her nappy changung

Carer 2: Which one is Jordan again?

Carer 1: She’s the one with a spiders web on her neck, a treble clef behind her ear and dolphin on her tit 

Carer 1: You know, the one who sits next to Chantelle with the sleeve tat

[easytoslip]

1 minute ago, Captain Howdy said:

Massive turn off for me that, never ever seen iPhone that looks good.

I don't think there's such a thing as a good tattoo, fair enough if you have one, but some go over the top. They don't look good on women especially women over 40 and beyond that have them on their feet and arms, ghastly. 

As for neck tattoos. 

[Edward.]

1 hour ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Clean fingernails and hair are the giveaway. I was homeless briefly in my teens and it’s very hard to keep your hands and hair clean. The streets are dirty with traffic grime, litter etc. With the absence of public toilets it’s probably impossible now. So if you see a beggar with clean fingernails, they’re not sleeping rough. Save your money for the genuine ones. 

What about someone living in a hostel with access to cleaning facilities, but no real access to getting a job, because as soon as they do they run the risk of becoming street homeless again.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

3 hours ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

People queueing to get into fast food joints.

KFC on West Derby Road had a fucking bouncer.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

53 minutes ago, Edward. said:

What about someone living in a hostel with access to cleaning facilities, but no real access to getting a job, because as soon as they do they run the risk of becoming street homeless again.

Hostel? With water?

 

Bloody luxury!

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Lads in their late teens/early twenties doing wheelies on their bikes.

 

It didn't impress anyone when you were 12; it really won't now.

[VladimirIlyich]

16 minutes ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

Lads in their late teens/early twenties doing wheelies on their bikes.

 

It didn't impress anyone when you were 12; it really won't now.

Least of all the doctors and nurses swamped with covid patients wasting their time setting broken wrists and arms from something unnecessary like a wheelie.

[Jennings]

4 hours ago, Section_31 said:

People getting their dogs stolen, fuck is that about?

That's shit...

 

...although...

 

..I wish some poor bastard would steal Monty!*

 

 

 

*not Stu.

[Bruce Spanner]

26 minutes ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

KFC on West Derby Road had a fucking bouncer.

Does the one in Speke still have reinforced/bullet proof glass?  

[VladimirIlyich]

Just now, Bruce Spanner said:

Does the one in Speke still have reinforced/bullet proof glass?  

Yep. Made out of British Rail Pork Pies. (One for the oldies.)

[Harry Squatter]

The internet has basically killed off bullshitters. 

 

"Shagged some bird last week, massive tits, gorgeous"

 

"What's her name, get her facebook, Instagram etc up"

 

"Erm, can't remember her name."

 

"I was on Liverpools books as a kid"

 

"No trace of you lad anywhere"

 

"Errrrr"

 

 

[Remmie]

4 hours ago, easytoslip said:

Cunts on the street begging, so called homeless, no shame, just fuckin' arseholes in their chosen lifestyle. 

You did get the odd one I suppose but not that I can remember any except the proper tramp and loony busker but these cunts I hate them with a vengeance the vile twats.

What a vile thing to say. Hate that expression: chosen lifestyle, fuck off. If someone has to lose all their dignity to beg for a tiny bit of change, that's enough evidence I need to think they are genuine. 

[Remmie]

59 minutes ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

KFC on West Derby Road had a fucking bouncer.

If anything they need them at the Otterspool KFC, straightener Mecca. 

[Remmie]

Back when I were a lad we didn't have thread after thread wallowing in nostalgia

[Edward.]

12 minutes ago, Remmie said:

What a vile thing to say. Hate that expression: chosen lifestyle, fuck off. If someone has to lose all their dignity to beg for a tiny bit of change, that's enough evidence I need to think they are genuine. 

Some people are so entrenched in the “lifestyle” that it would appear to be chosen. The main problem is there are very few services left to help them get out of it. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

27 minutes ago, Remmie said:

What a vile thing to say. Hate that expression: chosen lifestyle, fuck off. If someone has to lose all their dignity to beg for a tiny bit of change, that's enough evidence I need to think they are genuine. 

Imagine waking up in the morning, contemplating all the lifestyle choices available to you and then deciding that your best option is sitting in the doorway of a closed-down BHS watching a constant stream of indifference and contempt pass you by - punctuated only by the occasional embarrassed stranger mumbling "here you are, mate" as they drop you a quid - because any other "lifestyle choices" are less appealing.

[Harry Squatter]

People barely smoke as much as they used to. Basically people have to fuck off somewhere to smoke and a pack of ciggies now costs 57 quid. Factor in all these shit pointless vaping smoking dildos.

 

When I was a kid every pub or workplace was smoke filled. I went to Bootle Strand once and the fire brigade could have done their training in there. 

 

Can remember being summoned to the staff room once in school and I went in, it looked like just after kick off at a Galatasaray match.

[Harry Squatter]

3 minutes ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

Imagine waking up in the morning, contemplating all the lifestyle choices available to you and then deciding that your best option is sitting in the doorway of a closed-down BHS watching a constant stream of indifference and contempt pass you by - punctuated only by the occasional embarrassed stranger mumbling "here you are, mate" as they drop you a quid - because any other "lifestyle choices" are less appealing.

But then taking off your shit clothes and driving off at 5pm in your new top of the range BMW. 

 

I've heard a few people say this, albeit on the Pete Price show.