Corporate bellendary at work.

[TheHowieLama]

1 minute ago, Mook said:

We get our bonus at the end of February so everyone was looking at their payslips this morning, I had a quick look at mine to see how much I'd been taxed on it (it's usually only a couple of hundred quid anyway) only to find there was nothing about any bonus. 

 

I had a bit of a rough year last year, some of it of my own making, some of it not really my fault at all & knew from speaking with my manager that I had to have a better year in 2021 but neither him nor his manager (who I had a meeting with yesterday) thought to tell me that I wasn't getting a bonus.

 

Cowardly fucking cunts. That is the last time I'll bother working my bollocks off for them that's for sure.

What finally happened with the lady?

 

 

And isn't it belledary?

[Mook]

1 minute ago, TheHowieLama said:

What finally happened with the lady?

 

 

And isn't it belledary?

The French bird? She's still off looking after her ill daughter as far as I'm aware.

[littletedwest]

35 minutes ago, Mook said:

We get our bonus at the end of February so everyone was looking at their payslips this morning, I had a quick look at mine to see how much I'd been taxed on it (it's usually only a couple of hundred quid anyway) only to find there was nothing about any bonus. 

 

I had a bit of a rough year last year, some of it of my own making, some of it not really my fault at all & knew from speaking with my manager that I had to have a better year in 2021 but neither him nor his manager (who I had a meeting with yesterday) thought to tell me that I wasn't getting a bonus.

 

Cowardly fucking cunts. That is the last time I'll bother working my bollocks off for them that's for sure.

I had that other year. Annual payrise used to be automatic, they then moved it to performance based. My boss didn't tell me I'd not got it. Hated that twat 

[Rico1304]

1 minute ago, littletedwest said:

I had that other year. Annual payrise used to be automatic, they then moved it to performance based. My boss didn't tell me I'd not got it. Hated that twat 

I had a 0.6% pay rise this year.  I’m determined not to let it change me.  

[Elite]

It's the overly nice people you've got to keep your eye on. Usually two-faced as fuck.

[littletedwest]

This guy was ridiculously sound. Until you worked for him. 

[Rico1304]

We were also a PLC for the first time

so the remuneration committee kindly decided to reduce our bonus pot. It’s now been sold back into private ownership so reducing the bonus has no impact other than leaving more cash in the bank for the new owner.  Why would you do that?  

[Mook]

10 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

I had that other year. Annual payrise used to be automatic, they then moved it to performance based. My boss didn't tell me I'd not got it. Hated that twat 

Aye, that's the other thing I found out, no pay rise.

 

I'm meant to have a 1:1 with him tomorrow & I'm going to have to bite my tongue.

[littletedwest]

Our was performance rated but only a certain % of managers got it. I finished 5th from 21 and didn't get it though. 

[Rico1304]

6 minutes ago, Mook said:

Aye, that's the other thing I found out, no pay rise.

 

I'm meant to have a 1:1 with him tomorrow & I'm going to have to bite my tongue.

Bite his tongue 

[Mook]

4 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Bite his tongue 

There's been enough of that in Edinburgh recently...

 

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/crime/edinburgh-woman-bit-off-mans-tongue-in-street-brawl-before-seagull-swooped-down-and-ate-it-3141625

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

28 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I had a 0.6% pay rise this year.  I’m determined not to let it change me.  

I’ve just bought a diet dust company, cutting edge in the sector. You could be the type of investor I need.

[Rico1304]

10 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

I’ve just bought a diet dust company, cutting edge in the sector. You could be the type of investor I need.

Remember I buy high and sell low.  

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

27 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Remember I buy high and sell low.  

So like me you’re a pro.

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, littletedwest said:

I had that other year. Annual payrise used to be automatic, they then moved it to performance based. My boss didn't tell me I'd not got it. Hated that twat 

They'll blame a thing called the ' Bellend Curve ' that's what they did in our place.

[General Dryness]

2 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

We were also a PLC for the first time

so the remuneration committee kindly decided to reduce our bonus pot. It’s now been sold back into private ownership so reducing the bonus has no impact other than leaving more cash in the bank for the new owner.  Why would you do that?  

Because the rich get richer and the rest of us can go and fuck ourselves?

[Rico1304]

9 hours ago, General Dryness said:

Because the rich get richer and the rest of us can go and fuck ourselves?

Probably. All the board have moved house this year.  They now blur the background on zoom meetings.  

[Section_31]

People in my mate's place have been told to stop saying hi guys and start saying hi team.

[Clem H Fandango]

Try working for the police. its standard to become more of a cunt the higher up you go on the food chain, but bear in mind the cunts at the bottom are right cunts.

[Section_31]

9 minutes ago, TheBigGreenBastard said:

Try working for the police. its standard to become more of a cunt the higher up you go on the food chain, but bear in mind the cunts at the bottom are right cunts.

@Charles Penrose told a story on here years ago about how he'd not long become a copper and someone held a door open for him, he said 'thanks mate' and said other said 'I'm not your mate'.

 

Which was nice. 

[Elite]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

@Charles Penrose told a story on here years ago about how he'd not long become a copper and someone held a door open for him, he said 'thanks mate' and said other said 'I'm not your mate'.

 

Which was nice. 

 

 

 

[Clem H Fandango]

41 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

@Charles Penrose told a story on here years ago about how he'd not long become a copper and someone held a door open for him, he said 'thanks mate' and said other said 'I'm not your mate'.

 

Which was nice. 

Thats polite of the other copper to actually speak!

[tokyojoe]

2 hours ago, Section_31 said:

People in my mate's place have been told to stop saying hi guys and start saying hi team.

I used to just say Morning Campers. Fuck all this politically correct bollocks.

[Jose Jones]

6 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

I used to just say Morning Campers. Fuck all this politically correct bollocks.

“Alright my lovers?” In a West Country accent is also good.

 

The CEO at my missus’ work has recently read a management consulting article which used the analogy that the company is like a disco, and leaders need to sometimes leave the dance floor and spend time on the balcony, watching the action from on high. Then decided that it was so good they shared it with the whole staff.

 

So now all the exec team are saying things like “I can’t fit that in, as I’ve scheduled some balcony time on Wednesday afternoon”.
 

And the lame middle managers are all making “hilarious” jokes about each other’s disco dancing skills and calling people glitterballs when they’ve done something good.

[Qwikage]

2 hours ago, Section_31 said:

People in my mate's place have been told to stop saying hi guys and start saying hi team.

"Morning tossers. Did anyone order a cunt?"