What professions have you banged?

[Edward.]

A forensic scientist, but she did a shit on my face. A foot doctor who did wonders to my feet.

[s(k)aturation]

A forensic scientist, but she did a shit on my face. A foot doctor who did wonders to my feet.

 

Interesting.

[Edward.]

A nurse I had also came to the bar I was working poured her drink into a johnny not sure how she didn't wasn't real paying attention at that point started to suck it off like a cock and then burst it all over her face.

[Edward.]

Interesting.

 

It was runny too, didn't smell or taste very nice.

[Edward.]

Actually thinking about it, I'd probably do it again.

[TheBitch]

Hair dressers are my thing.

 

And barmaids. Yeah. Barmaids. Filthy bitches.

[RJ Fan club]

Hair dressers are my thing.

 

Once only once. Fucking nutters. Based on my sample of one.

 

She was a mate of my flatmates bird. Lovely looking, tad young for me and a mad thieving twat.

 

Her hairdresser mates were really slaggy and bad bitches. Too much hassle.

[BringbackBiscan]

My missus is a hairdresser, so yes she's off her tits.

[macc]

My wife is a nurse so I can tell you not all nurses are dirty filthy whores...

 

Which is a shame!

[The Flâneur]

I fucked a hairdresser from Manchester, and she had the most expansive vagina i've ever come across (fnaar), lovely hands though.

[lifetime fan]

My wife is a nurse so I can tell you not all nurses are dirty filthy whores...

 

Which is a shame!

 

They are mate, just not at home.

[sir roger]

I nobbed a bird who went to Holy Family.

 

One costly fucking taxi ride from West Derby that was.

 

Had an idiot mate who pulled a girl who lived in West Kirby & couldn't fathom why the taxi was going through the tunnel & not past the Copplehouse.

 

The most impressive performance in a leading role for me was a physiotherapist from Nelson & Colne who could have stood in for the Chinese State Circus.

[Harry Squatter]

At least 15 Civil Servants

Interpreter

Hotel Receptionist

Barmaid

Call centre staff

Teacher

Nursery worker

Solicitor

Nurse

Sales Assistant

Oxfam Shop Manager

Purchasing manager

Single unemployed Mothers

 

Me and my mate had a foursome with two 19 year old utter filthbags who were "Nail Technicians", massive utter slags, even my mate who has shagged tons of utter slags was shocked by them. We picked them up outside the Liver in South Road, Waterloo as we were about to go home after a shit night out. After they had fucked off we just sat there for 10 minutes silent shaking our heads at how filthy they were. Apparently they had only worked with each other for a month yet we got them doing all kinds to each other in his living room.

 

Some lad we worked with in a detention centre shagged one of the female security guards, there were only 3 and teh other 2 were butch lesbians who looked like Robbie Keane and Steven Gerrard. Luckily he did the 3rd one who was actually quite alright.

[Croque Monsieur]

1. A nurse (how cliched).

 

2. Some American bird in Munich who worked for Raytheon on US defence contracts.

 

That's about it really, the rest of them have not had any job you would traditionally call a 'profession'.

 

Jesus, my lash has been criminally underused.

[Harry Squatter]

I think if I'd never worked with a lot of women or had a job that I meet a lot of women in it I think I'd still be a virgin. Not really one to go and chat up tons of women when I'm out, the majority of women I've shagged are women through work or that I've known for quite a long time or their friends. The few I've managed to sleep with who I've met while I've been out are when I've been gassed out of my mind and wouldn't even remember being rejected.

[Croque Monsieur]

I think if I'd never worked with a lot of women or had a job that I meet a lot of women in it I think I'd still be a virgin. Not really one to go and chat up tons of women when I'm out, the majority of women I've shagged are women through work or that I've known for quite a long time or their friends. The few I've managed to sleep with who I've met while I've been out are when I've been gassed out of my mind and wouldn't even remember being rejected.

 

I'm the same mate. I'm a total fucking shitbag when I'm out; well nervous when it comes to talking to women. The few I have managed to pull when out weren't put off by my obvious inebriation. The majority of the ones I've shagged I've got to know well before any action happened.

 

The exception to this is American birds, they're fucking boss. Absolutely no fear in coming up to you and initiating conversation (and making it pretty clear they like you). For a milquetoast like me, that's a godsend.

[Harry Squatter]

I'm the same mate. I'm a total fucking shitbag when I'm out; well nervous when it comes to talking to women. The few I have managed to pull when out weren't put off by my obvious inebriation. The majority of the ones I've shagged I've got to know well before any action happened.

 

The exception to this is American birds, they're fucking boss. Absolutely no fear in coming up to you and initiating conversation (and making it pretty clear they like you). For a milquetoast like me, that's a godsend.

 

It's weird, some of the birds i've been with if I was out and tried chatting them up I think that I would have been laughed at. One woman I worked on for 6 months before she gave in, I think if I went up to her in the pub she wouldn't have even talked to me. It's almost liek a paedophile's "grooming" process!. One girl I worked with brought her mate out with us one night and she wouldn't give me the time of day yet she started in our place about 4 months later and I got to know her pretty well - 3 months after she had started I'd banged her!

 

Yes, American birds are boss, you can just be dead up front with them and your accent is a novelty to them, I'll get myself over there then!

[Croque Monsieur]

It's weird, some of the birds i've been with if I was out and tried chatting them up I think that I would have been laughed at. One woman I worked on for 6 months before she gave in, I think if I went up to her in the pub she wouldn't have even talked to me. It's almost liek a paedophile's "grooming" process!. One girl I worked with brought her mate out with us one night and she wouldn't give me the time of day yet she started in our place about 4 months later and I got to know her pretty well - 3 months after she had started I'd banged her!

 

Yes, American birds are boss, you can just be dead up front with them and your accent is a novelty to them, I'll get myself over there then![/QUOTE]

 

If work offered me the opportunity to work in the States I'd go at the drop of a hat. Our accent is a huge novelty, and once you've explained you're not Irish or Australian (the most common places they thought I was from), but from a little city called Liverpool it's pretty much plain sailing. I know the US comes in for a lot of stick, but I fucking love the place.

[Harry Squatter]

It's weird, some of the birds i've been with if I was out and tried chatting them up I think that I would have been laughed at. One woman I worked on for 6 months before she gave in, I think if I went up to her in the pub she wouldn't have even talked to me. It's almost liek a paedophile's "grooming" process!. One girl I worked with brought her mate out with us one night and she wouldn't give me the time of day yet she started in our place about 4 months later and I got to know her pretty well - 3 months after she had started I'd banged her!

 

Yes, American birds are boss, you can just be dead up front with them and your accent is a novelty to them, I'll get myself over there then![/QUOTE]

 

If work offered me the opportunity to work in the States I'd go at the drop of a hat. Our accent is a huge novelty, and once you've explained you're not Irish or Australian (the most common places they thought I was from), but from a little city called Liverpool it's pretty much plain sailing. I know the US comes in for a lot of stick, but I fucking love the place.

 

Me and my brother met 5 American birds in a pub in Rome and we just kept telling them stupid jokes and taking the piss - managed to convince them that Dublin was the world's biggest capital city as the population keeps "Dublin and Dublin". They just thought that the way we talked (and swore) was hilarious - I love American women.

[lifetime fan]

Having lived and worked in the states for a bit I agree yank birds are upfront, easy to pull and quite a laugh.

 

Sex wasn't that great though.

[Croque Monsieur]

 

Me and my brother met 5 American birds in a pub in Rome and we just kept telling them stupid jokes and taking the piss - managed to convince them that Dublin was the world's biggest capital city as the population keeps "Dublin and Dublin". They just thought that the way we talked (and swore) was hilarious - I love American women.

 

Yeah, their general lack of knowledge about the world at large can be endearing (and condescendingly amusing) and hugely worrying all at once.

[Harry Squatter]

 

Yeah, their general lack of knowledge about the world at large can be endearing (and condescendingly amusing) and hugely worrying all at once.

 

Me and mate who is black were in a bar in Lake Tahoe and started vhatting to two birds who were from Seattle. She said "If you two guys lived here you'd fucking hate each other as black people hate whites". She then wanted to buy me drink because I didn't differentiate between black and white friends.

[piscinin]

Having lived and worked in the states for a bit I agree yank birds are upfront, easy to pull and quite a laugh.

 

Sex wasn't that great though.

 

Weren't you in Miami? You can't not have mind-blowing sex there.

[lifetime fan]

Weren't you in Miami? You can't not have mind-blowing sex there.

 

Was based in new York mate but spent time in Miami.

 

Plenty of good fucking when I was out there but the yank birds were too tame for my liking.

[Croque Monsieur]

 

Me and mate who is black were in a bar in Lake Tahoe and started vhatting to two birds who were from Seattle. She said "If you two guys lived here you'd fucking hate each other as black people hate whites". She then wanted to buy me drink because I didn't differentiate between black and white friends.

 

Yeah, that's the US in a microcosm. Horribly divided. Also, if you haven't got money, you're fucked.

 

I've been to Tahoe on a skiing trip (I fucking hate skiing - the lads like it though). We stayed near the border between California and Nevada. When all the bars shut at 2am on the California side we merely crossed the aptly named State Street and continued to get wasted in Nevada. Now that's enlightened.