Greatest Opening lines.

[King Emlyn]

"I left by the back door...with my wife's lover's smoking gun..."

 

[YOUTUBE]ZDczwroSayU[/YOUTUBE]

Funny you should say that, mine would be " I thought I'd take a walk today.... it's a mistake I sometimes make" which is from "Oh My Lord" from the same album obviously. What a fucking album that is.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Evelyn Waugh's A Handful of Dust starts with somebody asking

"Was anyone hurt?"

 

How can you not continue reading after that?

 

Same goes for Ken Kesey's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

They're out there.

[Guest TK-421]

They pulled her from a ditch last night

Somewhere down I-95

On the wrong side of the road

Found a needle and a pipe

She had hidden by her side

Cos it must have been so

Difficult to deal

I used to know her face

Broken on the steering wheel

 

Scud Mountain Boys "In a Ditch", the opener to the LP "Massachusetts".

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Some previous opening lines of tunes me and my mates have out together over the years.

 

Looking in the mirror at my minge last night, looking kind of hairy I got such a fright. Gonna shave it off and stick it on my kite. Gonna wash it hear coz it's full of shite.

 

I could reach if I tried, I want to reach out and find myself inside.

 

Dick Van Dyke is doing a dance in his underpants, hairy nipples he likes skittles, JD dribbles on his underpants.

 

Monkey's been out swinging round town, monkeys been out putting it about.

[King Emlyn]

Great thread this, there are loads of great opening lines.

 

Beach Boys, "God Only Knows":..... "I may not always love you...but as long as there are stars above you, you never need to doubt it"

 

Cave again..... " I am tall and I am thin, of an enviable height, and I've been known to be quite handsome from a certain angle and a certain light"

 

Bowies' "Always crashing In the same car"...... "Every chance.....every chance that I take"

[King Emlyn]

They pulled her from a ditch last night

Somewhere down I-95

On the wrong side of the road

Found a needle and a pipe

She had hidden by her side

Cos it must have been so

Difficult to deal

I used to know her face

Broken on the steering wheel

 

Scud Mountain Boys "In a Ditch", the opener to the LP "Massachusetts".

In fairness that's a bit long for an opening line.

[Mendoza]

[YOUTUBE]gd3C9aAupQI[/YOUTUBE]

[Stu Monty]

"It's in there all the time, waiting to get out".

 

Fever Pitch.

 

"My desert-island, all time, top five most memorable split ups, in chronological order:"

 

High Fidelity

 

 

You don't realise at the time but not only are they great starts to books but they also wonderfully capture the nature of the books too.

Edited March 21, 2012 by Stu Monty

[Guest TK-421]

In fairness that's a bit long for an opening line.

 

True, but it says "lines".

 

It's the opening verse setting a cheerful tone for what's to come.

[Carvalho Diablo]

"Call me Jonah, my parent's did. Or almost did."

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut

[Dr.Filth]

Pushing through the market square, so many mothers sighing

news had just come over we had 5 years left to cry in

News man wept and told us, Earth was really dying

Cried so much his face was wet, then I knew he was not lying

 

[YOUTUBE]Zq3EZhT3G7U[/YOUTUBE]

[King Emlyn]

Smoking Popes....."That's settles it...this is my lucky day"

[Stu Monty]

Last night these two bouncers, one of 'ems alright the other one's a scary 'un, his way or no way, totalitarian.

 

One of the greatest rhymes ever.

Edited March 22, 2012 by Stu Monty

[TE-23]

"Son I'm 30, I only went with your mother cos she's dirty."

[ChrisM]

On those cloudy days, Robert Neville was never sure when the sunset came, and sometimes they were in the street before he could get back.

 

 

---

 

 

When he woke in the woods in the dark and the cold of the night he’d reach out to touch the child sleeping beside him. Nights dark beyond darkness and the days more gray each one than what had gone before. Like the onset of some cold glaucoma dimming away the world. His hand rose and fell softly with each precious breath. He pushed away the plastic tarpaulin and raised himself in the stinking robes and blankets and looked toward the east for any light but there was none.

[Chairman Meow]

The tequila sun is rising

and the Harvey's Bristol moon is sinking

Put the Binatone on snooze

open up some Special Brews

and start drinking

[brucespanner]

[YOUTUBE]WUEuz0SFCtE[/YOUTUBE]

 

'You're looking for the one who fucked your mum, it's not me, it's not me'

[Son of L8]

"Call me Jonah, my parent's did. Or almost did."

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut

 

He wrote some brilliant openers in his time did Mr Vonnegut. Although technically it's not the opening line of the novel, the opening line of the story (which starts in chapter two) of Slaughterhouse Five:

 

Listen:

Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time.

 

That line, and the bit that follows, still gives me a chill even years after reading it the first time.

 

For a song, I would nominate Leonard Cohen for First We Take Manhattan:

 

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom

For trying to change the system from within;

I'm coming now, coming to reward them...

First, we take Manhattan. Then we take Berlin.

 

yA16lsLbwU0

 

Also, sidebar, but -- 79 years old, and on the form of his life as a performer. Saw him live recently as he was touring Canada, and you just know you're in the presence of greatness.

[Pony Princess]

"I am not Jesus, though I have the same initials.

I am the man who stays home and does the dishes."

 

Pulp, Dishes

 

[YOUTUBE]tlfeSs6GSuU[/YOUTUBE]

[Pony Princess]

"You couldn't afford college so you took a night class,

You made a clay dildo and shoved it up your ass"

 

Pottery is gay - Anal Cunt

 

[YOUTUBE]5E3IAQftzLM[/YOUTUBE]

[Pony Princess]

"Now and then... I get horny. At night you do. At night you do."

 

David Byrne - Independence Day (Cumbria)

 

[YOUTUBE]rvSztrNpukk[/YOUTUBE]

[SCOUSE TAPAS]

She was a girl from Birmingham she just had a abortion.

She was a case of insanity

Her name was Pauline, she lived in a tree. Bodies Sex Pistols

[Teflon Don]

"I've had relations with girls from many nations

I've made passes at women of all classes

And just because you're gay, I won't turn you away

If you stick around, I'm sure that we can find some common ground"

 

Billy Bragg - Sexuality

 

[YOUTUBE]IC-KCiLCDv4[/YOUTUBE]

[SCOUSE TAPAS]

I ve been mad for years fucking years. First spoken words at the start of the darkside of the moon album.

[brucespanner]

"You couldn't afford college so you took a night class,

You made a clay dildo and shoved it up your ass"

 

Pottery is gay - Anal Cunt

 

Do you ever listen to Impaled Northern Moonforest?

 

[YOUTUBE]D8cPTlFpx9o[/YOUTUBE]

 

It's a couple of the guys from Anal Cunt, it's fucking fruitloop stuff, brilliant in other words!