The world of a woman.

[Creator Supreme]

Just now, Paulie Dangerously said:

You wave your hand in front of it and it opens automatically and then closes a few seconds later. It's just a way to make you pay £60 for a plastic bin 

Did you keep the receipt?

 

And I'm not talking about the receipt for the bin!

[A Red]

1 minute ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

You wave your hand in front of it and it opens automatically and then closes a few seconds later. It's just a way to make you pay £60 for a plastic bin 

Cheers, seriously never heard of it.

 

I am thinking though of all that effort and time it must save

[Dougie Do'ins]

24 minutes ago, A Red said:

Never heard of a mechanical bin, what sort of witchcraft is this?

I have only ever seen one of these twice.

 

The first time was in a food place on Castle St. The idea is the person wanting to dispose of their shite would move their hand over a senor and the handleless bin lid would automatically open and then close. Nobody had a fucking clue it was automatic and relentless manual opening and closing fucked it up.

 

The second time was when my dad bought the exact same one about three years ago because he liked the look of it. To this day, he has no idea it is battery operated and I can't be arsed to tell him.

 

[Bjornebye]

50 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

*plays the jingle of MrsD's Measurement Mishaps*

 

We needed a bin as our usually method of hanging a bag wasn't working with the puppy. Knowing that her measurement skills are mocked by strangers on a vfootball fan website she did everything right. She decided where she wanted the bin. She got a ruler out and measured the available space in CMs. She found a bin she liked, which matched the right size in the correct unit. Oh how she bragged, smugly unpacking the bin and placing it in it's correct place in the kitchen right by the back door. 

 

The fly in the ointment is that it's a sensor bin and she didn't factor in the range on the thing so now every time someone walks into the yard (which, with a puppy and a near 6 year old is often) it sets the fucking thing off. It's like the mechanical whirr is ridiculing her and the opening bin is a black hole of failure. 

 

It's turned off now. £30 more than a normal bin. 

 

Superb. Cheered me right up that. You should keep turning it on when she is in the garden. Just to laugh mockingly when it open as she walks past it. 

 

She'll have something planned for you. 

[Karl_b]

The wife watches more TV than I do which often leads to me suggesting to watch something she's already seen, particularly documentaries. There have been things that I explicitly said we could watch together that's she watched without me and given that I don't watch much TV on my own I inevitably end up not watching stuff. 

 

Given I'm currently off sick I thought this would be the perfect time to watch 'The Last Dance', especially as she has absolutely no interest or knowledge of basketball, I even said I was planning to do so. One episode in and it's "Well I really wanted to watch that, can't you find something else to watch." 

 

Are you fucking kidding me?! I've been waiting to find time to watch this for weeks and NOW you say you want to watch it when we could have done so together. Aye aye aye. It's a fucking good job Rick and Morty S4 starts today and that the football is back, I'll be watching more than ever!

[lifetime fan]

We did a zoom pub quiz earlier. It’s hosted by a mate of hers that isn’t the brightest to put it politely.
 

One of the questions was ‘how many sides have won the premier league? And for a bonus point can you name all

6’. 

[lifetime fan]

Her mum pissed me off too. 
 

What type of vitamin is ascorbic acid? 
 

Me: It’s vitamin C. 
Her mum: No it’s skin. 
Me: It’s vitamin C, it’s used as a placebo. 
Her mum: No it’s the skin. 
Me: Skin isn’t a vitamin. 
Her mum: It is the skin, I’m from Australia, I know this. 

[Trumo]

13 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Her mum pissed me off too. 
 

What type of vitamin is ascorbic acid? 
 

Me: It’s vitamin C. 
Her mum: No it’s skin. 
Me: It’s vitamin C, it’s used as a placebo. 
Her mum: No it’s the skin. 
Me: Skin isn’t a vitamin. 
Her mum: It is the skin, I’m from Australia, I know this. 

 

[Remmie]

2 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Her mum pissed me off too. 
 

What type of vitamin is ascorbic acid? 
 

Me: It’s vitamin C. 
Her mum: No it’s skin. 
Me: It’s vitamin C, it’s used as a placebo. 
Her mum: No it’s the skin. 
Me: Skin isn’t a vitamin. 
Her mum: It is the skin, I’m from Australia, I know this. 

You must have felt like a fool when she told you she was from Australia 

[lifetime fan]

19 minutes ago, Remmie said:

You must have felt like a fool when she told you she was from Australia 

She’s a fucking joy thief. 
Her old man is sound, but her mum? Wow. 

[Harry Squatter]

[Fowlers God]

I’ve bought you a steak for dinner, 

was on offer in Waitrose, only £1.20

 

well that will be one mouthful, which is what she said. 

 

 

[littletedwest]

Been stuck indoors with the Mrs for 13 weeks. Think I'd rather have been captured by isis 

[sir roger]

23 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Been stuck indoors with the Mrs for 13 weeks. Think I'd rather have been captured by isis 

We got our arguments out of the way early doors and now basically move around each other like satellites on valium.

[Pete]

This is fantastic

 

[Dr Nowt]

 

[Bjornebye]

 

 

 

[Harry Squatter]

Bought the Disney Plus firestick in March. Me, the Mrs and my daughter watched all the Star Wars films back to back over the course of a fortnight. The only one we didn't watch was Solo. 

 

Since then they have watched all the Marvel films again and started watching Shield the TV series as well as other films on Amazon Prime. 

 

Was bored on saturday after the Liverpool game so me and my daughter watched Solo while the Mrs was out. When I told her we had watched it she went off her head and said we were supposed to watch all the star wars films together and said I'd "ruined everything". She never spoke to me for 3 hours. I said we can all watch it again together but got told "it's too fucking late now"

 

This is despite us watching the last of the star wars films in March, her watching about another 60 Marvel films and showing absolutely no interest in Solo until after I had watched it on Saturday.

 

Women just turn everything into a fucking drama and your mind has to play 5D chess to limit the things they can flip or moan about. 

[johnsusername]

17 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

 

 

Women just turn everything into a fucking drama and your mind has to play 5D chess to limit the things they can flip or moan about. 

She'll be fuming that you've been playing chess without her. 

[Anubis]

Carole Baskin pranked, UK style.

 

 

 

[VladimirIlyich]

3 hours ago, Anubis said:

Carole Baskin pranked, UK style.

 

 

 

Never heard of the cunt.

[Elite]

4 hours ago, Anubis said:

Carole Baskin pranked, UK style.

 

 

 

Haha

[Remmie]

1 hour ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Never heard of the cunt.

Rolf Harris and Jimmy Savile are high profile celebrity Paedophiles Vlad

[lifetime fan]

Spent today rearranging my bosses office and our training room to ensure all desks in the office were spaced properly. 
 

Trying to explain chairs in the training room didn’t need to be spaced just sideways and you could then put a row of chairs 2 foot in front went on deaf ears for hours. 
 

I ended up just leaving and telling her I had a conference call. 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Woman in my work is fuming because the caretaker won't move everything from her classroom to another classroom. She's got a cupboard and a half full of shite. She pretty much ordered him to do it and dropped a, "well that's your job isn't it?" (It isn't) Every other teacher in school has just cracked on and done it. The caretaker is sound and does me loads of favours because I treat him like a human being and help him push the odd big wheelie bin about and is helping me move my stuff on Friday. 

 

Imagine treating people like humans?