The world of a woman.

[Bjornebye]

Me and her have just done a quiz. I asked "Who painted The Last Supper" ?

 

"I think it might be Michelangelo but he wasn't around then was he?"

 

It took me a good 5 minutes to compose myself during which she called me every cunt under the sun.  

 

Since then Ive been carrying it on "can you just get Judas to stay still please?" 

 

This was about half an hour ago I'm still pushing organs back in. 

[Jose Jones]

17 hours ago, sir roger said:

You guys should thank your lucky stars , my wife will usually forget 50% of what I ask her for , even if I give her a list. Has never once forgotten her wine funnily enough.

Are you married to a bloke?

[General Dryness]

11 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Me and her have just done a quiz. I asked "Who painted The Last Supper" ?

 

"I think it might be Michelangelo but he wasn't around then was he?"

 

It took me a good 5 minutes to compose myself during which she called me every cunt under the sun.  

 

Since then Ive been carrying it on "can you just get Judas to stay still please?" 

 

This was about half an hour ago I'm still pushing organs back in. 

Reminded me of this.

[Stouffer]

The Mrs. is watching a gameshow and one of the prizes is a dartboard. She said that the "clock" was actually quite nice. I told her the presenter had just said that it was a dartboard and as far I I knew there wasn't such a thing as a 20 hr clock.

 

I think she's finally starting to crack.

[Josef Svejk]

1 hour ago, Stouffer said:

The Mrs. is watching a gameshow and one of the prizes is a dartboard. She said that the "clock" was actually quite nice. I told her the presenter had just said that it was a dartboard and as far I I knew there wasn't such a thing as a 20 hr clock.

 

I think she's finally starting to crack.

Two day Jupiter clock...

[Josef Svejk]

On 11/04/2020 at 11:13, Remmie said:

Wife wanted to go to the supermarket for a change as I normally do the shopping while I look after the kids. Asks if I want anything, some beer I say.

 

She comes back with 3 X 330ml cans.

Almost a litre! But not quite, of course...

[Dougie Do'ins]

2 hours ago, Stouffer said:

The Mrs. is watching a gameshow and one of the prizes is a dartboard. She said that the "clock" was actually quite nice. I told her the presenter had just said that it was a dartboard and as far I I knew there wasn't such a thing as a 20 hr clock.

 

I think she's finally starting to crack.

[Paulie Dangerously]

On 11/04/2020 at 11:13, Remmie said:

Wife wanted to go to the supermarket for a change as I normally do the shopping while I look after the kids. Asks if I want anything, some beer I say.

 

She comes back with 3 X 330ml cans.

That is superb. 

 

I'm a messy sod and my side of the bedroom invariably has a pile of "not quite dirty enough to wash" clothes. She's been on on me for a few days to sort it out as it's my responsibility so I did and generally tidied my half of the room out of spite. She's just had a meltdown because we've a gas engineer coming to look at our boiler which is in the cupboard on her side of the room and the cupboard is overflowing with her clothes, toiletries and general mess. 

 

She tried to get me involved in tidying the cupboard and I said I'd fulfilled "my responsibility" on my side of the room. 

 

 

Lockdown is hard. 

[Remmie]

3 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

That is superb. 

 

I'm a messy sod and my side of the bedroom invariably has a pile of "not quite dirty enough to wash" clothes. She's been on on me for a few days to sort it out as it's my responsibility so I did and generally tidied my half of the room out of spite. She's just had a meltdown because we've a gas engineer coming to look at our boiler which is in the cupboard on her side of the room and the cupboard is overflowing with her clothes, toiletries and general mess. 

 

She tried to get me involved in tidying the cupboard and I said I'd fulfilled "my responsibility" on my side of the room. 

 

 

Lockdown is hard. 

Repped for tidying out of spite

[Trumo]

3 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

That is superb. 

 

I'm a messy sod and my side of the bedroom invariably has a pile of "not quite dirty enough to wash" clothes. She's been on on me for a few days to sort it out as it's my responsibility so I did and generally tidied my half of the room out of spite. She's just had a meltdown because we've a gas engineer coming to look at our boiler which is in the cupboard on her side of the room and the cupboard is overflowing with her clothes, toiletries and general mess. 

 

She tried to get me involved in tidying the cupboard and I said I'd fulfilled "my responsibility" on my side of the room. 

 

 

Lockdown is hard. 

 

I'm guessing that every day is like a lockdown once you actually manage to get IN your bedroom.

 

[Paulie Dangerously]

2 hours ago, Trumo said:

 

I'm guessing that every day is like a lockdown once you actually manage to get IN your bedroom.

 

The daily vault over the bedside cabinet keeps me fit 

[TheBitch]

8 hours ago, Remmie said:

Repped for tidying out of spite

Repped for repping spite. 

[Evelyn Tentions]

12 hours ago, Trumo said:

 

I'm guessing that every day is like a lockdown once you actually manage to get IN your bedroom.

 

One of the all time classics. Surpassed only by some of mooks ex-boss posts

[lifetime fan]

On ‎30‎/‎03‎/‎2020 at 20:53, lifetime fan said:

The woman who refuses to buy anything other than fairy washing up liquid as it’s a false economy has bought 54 rolls of bog paper for £4. 

 

This morning as I'm leaving for work...

 

Her: Can you pick up some loo roll when you're out?

Me: Haven't you ordered a load?

Her: Yes but it won't be delivered for a while (she starts mumbling and lowering her voice when she says this).

Me: When?

Her: When what?

Me: When will it be delivered?

Her: August.

[Trumo]

23 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

 

This morning as I'm leaving for work...

 

Her: Can you pick up some loo roll when you're out?

Me: Haven't you ordered a load?

Her: Yes but it won't be delivered for a while (she starts mumbling and lowering her voice when she says this).

Me: When?

Her: When what?

Me: When will it be delivered?

Her: August.

 

What year?

[lifetime fan]

5 minutes ago, Trumo said:

 

What year?

Her mumbling and lower tone had stopped by the time I’d got to the end of the garden and could clearly hear “you fucking love being right don’t you”? 

[Elite]

The waiting time for a built to order car is less.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

1 hour ago, lifetime fan said:

Her mumbling and lower tone had stopped by the time I’d got to the end of the garden and could clearly hear “you fucking love being right don’t you”? 

 

I hope your response was "You should try it some time, I bet you'd love it too!"

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

52 minutes ago, Elite said:

The waiting time for a built to order car is less.

 

Yes but a car is useless. What can you really do with it? I mean I guess you could drive to the shops and buy toilet roll, for one.

[Bjornebye]

30 minutes ago, Aw Geez said:

 

I hope your response was "You should try it some time, I bet you'd love it too!"

If she was in the kitchen she would have been within reach of his flame-thrower so for Lifeys sake I'm glad he didn't. 

[Sugar Ape]

On 03/04/2020 at 02:27, Sugar Ape said:

Just looking back through some old photos and found this classic one of some cheese on toast she made me. Of course, she then got a cob on and said I was selfish for complaining about it. How I haven’t divorced her I don’t know. 
 

 

This is actually the picture I was looking for when I found the cheese on toast one. My dinner in work that she made me. 
 

 

[Mudface]

Hahaha. Are you well insured?

 

 

[cloggypop]

Was cheese heavily rationed where she was brought up? 

[Sugar Ape]

She grew up just around the corner from Woolton cheese shop so I’ve no idea why she turned out this way. 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Sugar Ape said:

This is actually the picture I was looking for when I found the cheese on toast one. My dinner in work that she made me. 
 

 

She’s either a Blue or a Nazi