What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[YorkshireRed]

I followed immediately. We pro beaners need to stick together.

[Anubis]

The state of that bowl of beans. She must be educated with the taste of much correction. I volunteer.

[Curly]

7 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

I followed immediately. We pro beaners need to stick together.

Brown toast? Fucking wrongun.

[Chip Butty]

7 minutes ago, Curly said:

Brown toast? Fucking wrongun.

Fried bread isn’t it? 
 

There is no need for one of those potato thingys, let alone 5!

 

 

 

 

[Curly]

4 minutes ago, Chip Butty said:

Fried bread isn’t it? 
 

There is no need for one of those potato thingys, let alone 5!

 

 

 

 

Is it? Then I apologise to her for the name calling. It’ll mean a lot I bet

[Remmie]

A simple but tasty fried egg and rosti, I stabbed the yolk, hence the 'bleeding' 

 

[Bob]

5 hours ago, Remmie said:

A simple but tasty fried egg and rosti, I stabbed the yolk, hence the 'bleeding' 

 

Art

[Remmie]

40 minutes ago, Bob said:

Art

Are you referring to the concentric circles, because I definitely planned that, definitely 

[Bob]

10 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Are you referring to the concentric circles, because I definitely planned that, definitely 

It was initially the stark and striking perfection of the circular egg, but then like all good art there is more. The other circles, their not quite concentric position likely a  commentary on the uncertainty and imperfection of the universe.

[Bob]

There’s something about a fried egg…

 

 

[Bob]

Folded it up into a sandwich, and it was bloody great.

[Curly]

Made this fucking absolute beauty while I watched the first half of the thingio. You know.

 

Anyway - it was fucking unreal. 9 out of 10.

 

I am pro bean, but decided against them as we only had some shite beans and vegan sausage tins. And you know what - I may never go back. I think as delicious as they are, they make me feel a bit shit after them. Been noticing that they sit heavy with me and give me heartburn for a while now, so I might have reached an end with them. 
 

But that brekkie. Fuck me. There’s 2 toast, 2 bread and butter, cup of tea 1 sugar, orange cordial with ice, 2 bacon, 3 sausages, 2 eggs, 2 black pudding and 2 beef tomatoes. 
 

I know loads of you will be dead jealous and try to pretend you don’t like it, but I know the truth and that you’re either lying or wrong, and that’s enough for me

 

 

[TheHowieLama]

There’s 2 toast,

 

Where??

[Mudface]

1 hour ago, Bob said:

Folded it up into a sandwich, and it was bloody great.

 

That's an egg salad buttie. 

[Bob]

1 minute ago, Mudface said:

 

That's an egg salad buttie. 

It’s a bacon and egg salad butty

[Curly]

5 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

There’s 2 toast,

 

Where??

Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare.

 

(In all honesty I had left it to go cold with tending to the other bits and the butter didn’t actually melt in and has made it look quite the concoction)

[Curly]

1 hour ago, Bob said:

Folded it up into a sandwich, and it was bloody great.

That looks good - fresh and light. Bravo.

 

The peg and the 3 pronged sex toy on the other hand. You filthy, filthy bastard. On the kitchen side no less. You disgust me

[TheHowieLama]

Bob has a toaster in his picture there -- you see that thing?

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Curly said:

Made this fucking absolute beauty while I watched the first half of the thingio. You know.

 

Anyway - it was fucking unreal. 9 out of 10.

 

I am pro bean, but decided against them as we only had some shite beans and vegan sausage tins. And you know what - I may never go back. I think as delicious as they are, they make me feel a bit shit after them. Been noticing that they sit heavy with me and give me heartburn for a while now, so I might have reached an end with them. 
 

But that brekkie. Fuck me. There’s 2 toast, 2 bread and butter, cup of tea 1 sugar, orange cordial with ice, 2 bacon, 3 sausages, 2 eggs, 2 black pudding and 2 beef tomatoes. 
 

I know loads of you will be dead jealous and try to pretend you don’t like it, but I know the truth and that you’re either lying or wrong, and that’s enough for me

 

 

 

4 slices of bread? Everything ok? 

[Bjornebye]

13 minutes ago, Mudface said:

 

That's an egg salad buttie. 

 

Screams of someone who follows diet birds on instagram 

[Mudface]

15 minutes ago, Bob said:

It’s a bacon and egg salad butty

 

I must have been too horrified to notice the bacon.

[Curly]

21 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

 

4 slices of bread? Everything ok? 

 

[Jairzinho]

A plate of buttered bread and a plate of bread with hummus.

 

This is why people voted for Brexit. 

[Curly]

I think that the saddest thing about all this, isn’t the jealousy on display, nor the lack of respect, but more so that the OP @ISeeRed doesn’t still come on here. If he did, he would have finally been a delivered a breakfast fitting of the demanded quality of such a thread.

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Curly said:

I think that the saddest thing about all this, isn’t the jealousy on display, nor the lack of respect, but more so that the OP @ISeeRed doesn’t still come on here. If he did, he would have finally been a delivered a breakfast fitting of the demanded quality on such a thread.

 

"A scoop of baked beans"

 

He's married now. There he is on the right