Works Christmas Nights out

[Harry Squatter]

Fucking cunts, they need their hands smashed in with a hammer the robbing bastards

[Alan Sex]

Client's night out last night. Was pretty damn good. Much free booze, free meal in Puschka, that weird moment when you think its 11pm but its actually 3am.

 

Informed (after being asked) who in the company I would feel up, fondle and fuck.  I reckon I could have gotten my dick wet last night with either sex but I was too twatted from emptying Hannah's bar's bottle of Laphroaig.

 

Friend stayed over and he said I went to get changed then came downstairs for a spliff with no kecks or boxers on, wang hanging out.

 

Good times.

What was that about naked leapfrog?

[Alan Sex]

Champ - that's a cunt of a thing to happen before Xmas. Sorry luv.

 

People always say it's not the stuff, it's the sense of violation. Bullshit. It's the stuff too. I'm attached to my stuff.

 

Will your home insurance cover it?

[Lee909]

Champ , sorry to hear that news.Been there before years ago.At least nobody was in, , possessions are always replaceable even if its a nightmare doing it. Keep a eye on local Gumtree and ebay for the bikes if you have proof of serial numbers etc, even some of the local cash converters etc.They may turn up.

[stringvest]

Bloody hell that's shit news Champ.  Fucking twats.  Let's hope that someone can find out who's done it.  

[TheBitch]

Cunts.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

Thanks,guys.

 

Just shaken and angry. And for my daughter too.

Been through the house, taken all our laptops, cameras and the like. And a bottle of wine which was for my sister for Christmas. Utter utter bastards

Pretty cunty, the missus has never quite got over some fucker breaking into ours, they got nothing but scared the shite out of her as she got up when she heard a noise.

 

Hope you get a good payout early doors so you can capitalise on the sale season.

 

 

 

[The Guest]

It does make you think what is going through the mind of these fucking wankers.

 

About 5 years ago my girlfriend at the time was living in her mums.  The house got ransacked.  She's got 3 younger brothers 1 who was really young at the time.  The most disturbing thing was that they found the iron had been switched on.

[Carradona]

That's shit, Champ.

 

Got my work "12 pubs" night out tonight. There's a few cunts in my office who might just be on the receiving end of a tirade of insults by the time we reach the 5th or 6th pub.

[Stu Monty]

Popping out on mine later this afternoon. A few hand-picked lads from work are going to have a piss around at the virtual golf and then wander into the Northern Quarter for some more drinks. Lovely stuff.

[Tossed and blown]

An epic one again and some trouble in store - I have to visit the venue tomorrow to survey the damage.  Somebody turned a shower on and flooded the place, plus the stairlift was broken in the annual round of 'Stairlift Challenge'.  I Tsunami'd someone by slinging a bin full of water under a cubicle door because I thought they were doing a line when it turned out to be some old boy from another party who was breathing like a consumptive.  Foodfight, some random copping off and petty theft.

 

Nightclub after then after that, well, it was a bit* like last year...

 

 

 

 

 

*a lot

[Unrighteous]

An epic one again and some trouble in store - I have to visit the venue tomorrow to survey the damage.  Somebody turned a shower on and flooded the place, plus the stairlift was broken in the annual round of 'Stairlift Challenge'.  I Tsunami'd someone by slinging a bin full of water under a cubicle door because I thought they were doing a line when it turned out to be some old boy from another party who was breathing like a consumptive.  Foodfight, some random copping off and petty theft.

 

Nightclub after then after that, well, it was a bit* like last year...

 

 

 

 

 

*a lot

 

Damage Assessment: Total.

[Ted]

Went. Had sex. Cheers.

[lifetime fan]

An epic one again and some trouble in store - I have to visit the venue tomorrow to survey the damage. Somebody turned a shower on and flooded the place, plus the stairlift was broken in the annual round of 'Stairlift Challenge'. I Tsunami'd someone by slinging a bin full of water under a cubicle door because I thought they were doing a line when it turned out to be some old boy from another party who was breathing like a consumptive. Foodfight, some random copping off and petty theft.

 

Nightclub after then after that, well, it was a bit* like last year...

 

 

 

 

 

*a lot

Where's last years write up?

[Unrighteous]

Went. Had sex. Cheers.

 

What? That's it? Really? No details? Wtf

[Remmie]

I had a great time at mine, had 10 free drink vouchers and took with me a bottle of vodka shaped like a gun from Ukraine, which got drained. Afterwards went to a bar and a Casino in which I was gripped by twelvety bouncers and had the Police called on me. Seems I forgot I had put the gun bottle in the back of my suit trousers gangster style and they thought it was the real thing. Suffice to say I am barred from the Casino. Don't think the Police could do anything as I don't think I actually committed any crime.

[Unrighteous]

I had a great time at mine, had 10 free drink vouchers and took with me a bottle of vodka shaped like a gun from Ukraine, which got drained. Afterwards went to a bar and a Casino in which I was gripped by twelvety bouncers and had the Police called on me. Seems I forgot I had put the gun bottle in the back of my suit trousers gangster style and they thought it was the real thing. Suffice to say I am barred from the Casino. Don't think the Police could do anything as I don't think I actually committed any crime.

Attaboy.

[Liverpool lad]

Where's last years write up?

Last years is not allowed to be written up

[Tossed and blown]

Last years is not allowed to be written up

 

There was this 'thing' happened.  A very similar 'thing' happened again this year.

[VladimirIlyich]

Went. Had sex. Cheers.

We'd rather hear tales when somebody else was involved.

[Sugar Ape]

2005: Threw up on a colleague

2006: Called my superior a "weasel faced twat"

2007: Took the office chubster home and vowed never to do it againt

Last Night: Took said chubster home an declared to everyone that I wanted us to be an item.

 

Monday is going to be grim.

 

It's tradition to quote this post. You fucking animal, Paulie.

 

I'm just going out with a few of the lads this year to get smashed; the week after when the main night out is on with all the middle aged bores I'll be in Prague which keeps up my track record of avoiding the main night out for the last 3 years.

 

It sounds particularly grim this year; they're going to see Scouse of the Antarctic at the Royal Court theatre. I fucking hate all these scouse shows on there like Nightmare on Lime street. Always full of the same shite jokes.

 

" Oh look, there's a scary monster "

 

" It's not a monster love, they're just from Runcorn "

 

Fuck off.

[Major Tom]

When I worked in an office, I loved the festive period. December was a haze of free drink, late starts, long lunches and early finishes.

 

Working for yourself? Not so much.

[Paulie Dangerously]

It's my annual shame.

 

Ours was being "organised" this week by the woman who does it every year. She's shit at it though. Trying to please everyone. Endless emails 'where does everyone want to go?'

 

I emailed her and asked if we even know where we are going and she sent a cold one back basically saying if I thought I could sort it then I should.

 

Which I did. Group email "hey all, we will be at X pub from 4.30 onwards then probably move on to X Y and Z later on."

 

Job fucking done.

[Fowlers God]

Third year I've declined to attend mine! I couldn't think I of anything worse than socialising with the people I have to sit down next to every day. If I'm going to spend a fortune going out its gonna be on myself enjoying myself

[Hooch]

Same here mate, I'e taken the decision no to go this year. because I fucking hate all of the people I work with.