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How to Dump Your Bird?

bri

By bri,
in GF - General Forum

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bri Grand Master

bri

Posted
Posted

Whats the best line youve ever delivered to a bird to bin them off, or whats the best line theyve delivered to you cos your not worth it.

 

I managed to pull this really fit bird a few years back during my leaner years. Wed been out a few times and she gave me the line.

 

"I really like you but Im going to see other people as well" I have to say it hurt

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Nunavut Patrick Grand Master

Nunavut Patrick

Posted
Posted

In front of the Embassy of the Cameroons, my first high school love said,

"I think we should just be friends from now on"

 

After all the Tequila sunrises on the banks of the Rideau River.

When Roger Milla beat the Argies at Italia 90, the circle was complete.

 

Just before HS graduation, dumped again.

"My parents are getting a divorce and I can't have a relationship now."

Bitch shows up with the third string quaterback at the prom. Me and Jack Daniels got real close that night.

 

Then came two rebound girls, both 'one timers', both dumped by a fella wanting to 'sow his wild oats'. Best sex, though. Just don't get attached. Both of them didn't even have the decency to invite me to their weddings. I did love the look one of them gave me at the local when he came to check out who was shagging his ex.

 

And finaly, the wife, who I went to high school with but never was involved until later. She's always threatening to dump me- then comes out with feeble excuses-'I would but what about the affect on the kids'- 'Soon as we're debt free' - 'I only married you because you knocked me up.' Blah blah blah.

 

And she wonders why I love Liverpool more then women.

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DT Grand Master

DT

Posted
Posted
Whats the best line youve ever delivered to a bird to bin them off, or whats the best line theyve delivered to you cos your not worth it.

 

I managed to pull this really fit bird a few years back during my leaner years. Wed been out a few times and she gave me the line.

 

"I really like you but Im going to see other people as well" I have to say it hurt

 

I said to one once about 3-4 years ago "I'm moving so it's best if we stop seeing each other". I haven't moved yet.

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Aaron Miller Grand Master

Aaron Miller

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i once tried to date an ugly chick, mainly just cuz i started to believe that maybe a personality was more important than looks.

 

the chick was really cool, but at the end of the day, she just didn't really turn me on.

 

when i broke it off with her i decided that since she was cool so she deserved 100% honesty, so i just told her that she wasn't physically attractive to me that i wanted to be friends, but i didn't want to be her boyfriend any longer.

 

surprisingly, she said ok, and we stayed friends until i boned her hotter best friend.

 

good times.

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DT Grand Master

DT

Posted
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"Your tits are too small, you're fat and you bore me to death" produced a flood of tears from my first girl friend. I became more tactful with subsequent girlfriends.

 

Along with Aaron's that has got to be the best so far.

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Paul Grand Master

Paul

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"Your tits are too small, you're fat and you bore me to death" produced a flood of tears from my first girl friend. I became more tactful with subsequent girlfriends.

You smooth, sweet-talking charmer, you.

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Hermes Grand Master

Hermes

Posted
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"Your tits are too small, you're fat and you bore me to death"

 

you should do wedding speeches for a livin with that

 

If anybody is taking the plunge this summer I'm willing to supply a few lines, just hope that I haven't supplied the best man with a few as well. :whistle:

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Hermes Grand Master

Hermes

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I once got a slap from a mate's girlfriend when she tried on a new pair of jeans and asked me if she looked fat in them. I said "Well, I wouldn't like to insult you and I don't want to lie to you either. So I'd rather not answer that question".

 

I suppose I could have said "Of course you do, you are fat".

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bri Grand Master

bri

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just had a brief moment of clarity.

 

Was in a bar last night where i live and got talking to these two birds with a few mates was pretty hammered by this point, anyway as they got up and left i slurred to one of em did she have a number to which she replied youve already got it.

 

Ive been thinkning about this throughout the day. I had no clue who she was until i just realised i shagged her about a year ago on a very drunk one night stand. I had to laugh

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lifetime fan Grand Master

lifetime fan

Posted
Posted

Led in bed on the morning of my girlfriends 26 birthday and she's hinting at getting engaged. So I tell her she needs to settle down soon or she would get left on the shelf. At this point she gives me the puppy eyes and says I need some one whos marriage material, to which I replied 'Well you'll have to fucking look else where' She didnt find it funny!

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Mark P Grand Master

Mark P

Posted
Posted
Led in bed on the morning of my girlfriends 26 birthday and she's hinting at getting engaged. So I tell her she needs to settle down soon or she would get left on the shelf. At this point she gives me the puppy eyes and says I need some one whos marriage material, to which I replied 'Well you'll have to fucking look else where' She didnt find it funny!

 

You're still together, aren't you?!

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Anubis Grand Master

Anubis

Posted
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From http://www.soyouvebeendumped.com

 

NEW! " I can't see myself with you when I am eighty."

 

NEW! I want be able to see other women without hurting you"

 

NEW! "The two years that we've been together, a part of me has been lost, but I have now found myself so it's goodbye."

 

NEW! "This is MY gig, and if you CAN'T GET that it's MY gig, then there is no place for you in my life. There's NO more (me) and (you)."

 

NEW! "You given me your love and I have only given you my friendship, so I have been mulling it over for the last two years, and decided it is not fair to you. It is not your fault it is me."

 

NEW! "Well, I don't think just not talking to you is going to be enough space for me."

 

NEW! "I think you're a lovely woman, but I've just come out of a relationship, and the reason I did is because I didn't want to be in one. I want to free - if you know what I mean."

 

NEW! "You mean more to me than life itself - but I'm suicidal - so F**K off!"

 

"I've found someone else. I'm so sorry. Shall we go tell the kids?"

 

"I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me"

 

"We don't see each other that much anymore, and I'm content with the way things are right now."

 

" You've done nothing wrong. It's me...I've just lost interest. Take care of yourself."

 

"We have the perfect love at the wrong time...I'm so sorry."

 

" I miss being HAPPY!"

 

"Whatever feelings I had for you in the beginning, I have lost in the end."

 

"Something tells me you and I aren't right, and I have to act on that."

 

"I've decided I'm just not ready for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship."

 

"You talked about the future, and that freaked me out. It makes me sick to think about it."

 

"I have a lot of growing up to do."

 

"I moved things TOO fast between us which was NOT right."

 

"How will I know I want to spend the next 50 years with you unless I date other people?"

 

"Listen, these bloody scratches on my back weren't caused by another lover, it was my 3-year old son."

 

"I am breaking up with you now before you get too attached to me....so I am doing you a sort of favour, aren't I?"

 

"Because I am not in love, I don't think I can make love to you anymore."

 

"Don't bother coming over tomorrow night because I don't wanna see you anymore."

 

"You simply can't make the heart feel something it won't, and mine won't I am sorry."

 

"Actually, I think I see you more as a friend than anything else."

 

"I don't need the hassle any more than you do, so I'll say 'goodbye."

 

"I can't see you anymore. Your house is a tip and mine is spotless and I'm a bloke."

 

"You don't smile enough. Saying you are happy and looking it are two different things."

 

"I...um...just don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know what I want. I don't feel comfortable going forward with this."

 

"You're my best friend in the world, and I love you to death...but you're like a sister to me."

 

"I just don't think we could see other people and not fight."

 

"I care about you so much. I love you more then anyone, it's just hard to carry a commitment at this age."

 

"Anyone else you'd like to be having a relationship with at the moment?"

 

"I love you but I love me more."

 

"It isn't the other women. Hell, I wanted an open relationship, and I might have even enjoyed hearing about them! It's just that you didn't TELL me about them!"

 

"I don't think breaking up with you is the solution, but I'm feeling a lot of pressure to leave the country for a couple of months right now."

 

"I'm not dumping you. My feelings for you just changed."

 

"Sorry, I'm too busy to love."

 

"I function better as a single person".

 

"Um...I'm bored of you, you're dumped."

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