Christmas presents

[Carvalho Diablo]

Let me tell you a little story about the Christmas Day on which I received both my best and worst ever Christmas presents.

 

Christmas 1981, I was 11 and it was the first ever Christmas after my mum had left home. My dad was a violent, womanising drunken bully and my little ma had finally had enough and plucked up the courage to flee from the horrible cunt some months earlier.

 

My dad already had a fancy piece on the go, a right scrubber from Port Clarence, and she had a young daughter of her own, several years younger than me and my younger brother.

 

In the run up to Christmas we'd had a rummage through the house but the only presents we found were a fur jacket for my dad's scrubber and a little BMX bike for her daughter.

 

Christmas Day comes and my dad's pretending to be asleep on the couch, just so he could avoid having any interaction with my and my brother, whilst my maternal nana made the Christmas dinner.

 

Anyway, as soon as the dinner is ready my dad springs into life and wolfs his dinner down before getting his jacket on and getting the BMX into his car.

 

When he came back to get the fur coat, my poor nan says to him, "Allen, aren't you forgetting something?", motioning towards me and my brother.

 

My shame faced father comes over and pulls out a small present from his jacket, (it hadn't even been wrapped properly, no sellotape, just loosely in some cheapo wrapping paper), but me and our Stevie were overjoyed and quickly unwrapped it.

 

It was a VHS video cassette of Quadrophenia...which my dad had rented from the video shop.

 

As my heart sank and face dropped I heard the door slam as my dad legged it down the path and into his car to fuck off to his fancy piece's. We didn't see him again for several weeks after.

 

My best present arrived moments later when my nana give us a properly wrapped gift, a little remote controlled car which both she and my mam had bought for us together.

 

That little car was nothing flash, nothing special really, but it meant the world to me and my little brother.

 

41 years later and my family had our Christmas get together on Tuesday night. Sadly neither my mam or my nana are with us any longer but we all spoke about them with love and fondness and laughter. My dad, who is still with us though, well he couldn't even be arsed to come. He didn't send anyone a Christmas card, a gift, he didn't even phone the kids to wish them a happy Christmas, and not a single fuck was given by any one of us.

 

I love my dad but he really doesn't deserve it, he'll die soon as a miserable horrible selfish lonely man, in much the same way as he lived most of his life.

[Captain Turdseye]

… and a happy new year!

[Carvalho Diablo]

15 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

… and a happy new year!

 

[John102]

1. A SNES. My mum made me open the stand for it first, which had a picture of a SNES on it. She made out that she thought that was a SNES and that this was my main present. That old chestnut.

 

2. A cassette for the board game atmosphere. She really did mess up this time as there was no board game with it. I used to play the video every now and again out of curiosity.

 

3. Probably given loads out in my time but not by design, so no idea.

[Harry's Lad]

2 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Let me tell you a little story about the Christmas Day on which I received both my best and worst ever Christmas presents.

 

Christmas 1981, I was 11 and it was the first ever Christmas after my mum had left home. My dad was a violent, womanising drunken bully and my little ma had finally had enough and plucked up the courage to flee from the horrible cunt some months earlier.

 

My dad already had a fancy piece on the go, a right scrubber from Port Clarence, and she had a young daughter of her own, several years younger than me and my younger brother.

 

In the run up to Christmas we'd had a rummage through the house but the only presents we found were a fur jacket for my dad's scrubber and a little BMX bike for her daughter.

 

Christmas Day comes and my dad's pretending to be asleep on the couch, just so he could avoid having any interaction with my and my brother, whilst my maternal nana made the Christmas dinner.

 

Anyway, as soon as the dinner is ready my dad springs into life and wolfs his dinner down before getting his jacket on and getting the BMX into his car.

 

When he came back to get the fur coat, my poor nan says to him, "Allen, aren't you forgetting something?", motioning towards me and my brother.

 

My shame faced father comes over and pulls out a small present from his jacket, (it hadn't even been wrapped properly, no sellotape, just loosely in some cheapo wrapping paper), but me and our Stevie were overjoyed and quickly unwrapped it.

 

It was a VHS video cassette of Quadrophenia...which my dad had rented from the video shop.

 

As my heart sank and face dropped I heard the door slam as my dad legged it down the path and into his car to fuck off to his fancy piece's. We didn't see him again for several weeks after.

 

My best present arrived moments later when my nana give us a properly wrapped gift, a little remote controlled car which both she and my mam had bought for us together.

 

That little car was nothing flash, nothing special really, but it meant the world to me and my little brother.

 

41 years later and my family had our Christmas get together on Tuesday night. Sadly neither my mam or my nana are with us any longer but we all spoke about them with love and fondness and laughter. My dad, who is still with us though, well he couldn't even be arsed to come. He didn't send anyone a Christmas card, a gift, he didn't even phone the kids to wish them a happy Christmas, and not a single fuck was given by any one of us.

 

I love my dad but he really doesn't deserve it, he'll die soon as a miserable horrible selfish lonely man, in much the same way as he lived most of his life.

No child should have to endure mental cruelty like that and I'm sorry you and your brother had to go through it.

Makes me realise how lucky I was and still am.

Shames me for my feelings towards Christmas tbh.

 

[Carvalho Diablo]

12 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

No child should have to endure mental cruelty like that and I'm sorry you and your brother had to go through it.

Makes me realise how lucky I was and still am.

Shames me for my feelings towards Christmas tbh.

 

Thanks mate but you shouldn't feel any shame for enjoying your Christmas.

 

Looking back I consider myself blessed tbh, blessed to have such a wonderful mam and grandmother. Couldn't have wished for anything more.

[Harry's Lad]

40 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Thanks mate but you shouldn't feel any shame for enjoying your Christmas.

 

Looking back I consider myself blessed tbh, blessed to have such a wonderful mam and grandmother. Couldn't have wished for anything more.

I don't enjoy Christmas, not for 30 years. I find it a real chore and something I dread more every year.

 

I'm not a misery arse, I have my reasons but they're difficult to explain.

Some may seem trivial but bundled together, add my health issues and it just fucks me up.

 

I was lucky with my family, my dad was amazing my mum too to a certain degree considering her upbringing so it shouldn't make me feel like it does, but it does.

The rest of the time I'm fine, it's just Christmas.

 

 

 

[John102]

On 23/12/2022 at 17:03, Bjornebye said:

Best - Game Boy in 93. 

 

Worst - My auntie bought me an Adidas r*ngers football because they'd ran out of Celtic ones. She was from me mums side of the family so didn't quite get why I swore in-front of my grandad for the first time in my life. 

 

Worst I've ever given - I broke up with an ex on Boxing Day in about 2008 because I'd fallen for another girl, that was pretty shitty. 

Come again?

 

Youd what now?

[Babb'sBurstNad]

2 hours ago, John102 said:

1. A SNES. My mum made me open the stand for it first, which had a picture of a SNES on it. She made out that she thought that was a SNES and that this was my main present. That old chestnut.

 

Mine tried a similar trick. Waited until the end, when everyone was clearing up, leaving me to supposedly think the few little gifts I'd had were it, and no SNES. Then the big reveal.

 

It would have had more impact had I not squirreled through every cupboard to find my presents, as I did every year. Still, I pretended for their benefit. They seemed pleased with their ruse.

[VladimirIlyich]

5 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Let me tell you a little story about the Christmas Day on which I received both my best and worst ever Christmas presents.

 

Christmas 1981, I was 11 and it was the first ever Christmas after my mum had left home. My dad was a violent, womanising drunken bully and my little ma had finally had enough and plucked up the courage to flee from the horrible cunt some months earlier.

 

My dad already had a fancy piece on the go, a right scrubber from Port Clarence, and she had a young daughter of her own, several years younger than me and my younger brother.

 

In the run up to Christmas we'd had a rummage through the house but the only presents we found were a fur jacket for my dad's scrubber and a little BMX bike for her daughter.

 

Christmas Day comes and my dad's pretending to be asleep on the couch, just so he could avoid having any interaction with my and my brother, whilst my maternal nana made the Christmas dinner.

 

Anyway, as soon as the dinner is ready my dad springs into life and wolfs his dinner down before getting his jacket on and getting the BMX into his car.

 

When he came back to get the fur coat, my poor nan says to him, "Allen, aren't you forgetting something?", motioning towards me and my brother.

 

My shame faced father comes over and pulls out a small present from his jacket, (it hadn't even been wrapped properly, no sellotape, just loosely in some cheapo wrapping paper), but me and our Stevie were overjoyed and quickly unwrapped it.

 

It was a VHS video cassette of Quadrophenia...which my dad had rented from the video shop.

 

As my heart sank and face dropped I heard the door slam as my dad legged it down the path and into his car to fuck off to his fancy piece's. We didn't see him again for several weeks after.

 

My best present arrived moments later when my nana give us a properly wrapped gift, a little remote controlled car which both she and my mam had bought for us together.

 

That little car was nothing flash, nothing special really, but it meant the world to me and my little brother.

 

41 years later and my family had our Christmas get together on Tuesday night. Sadly neither my mam or my nana are with us any longer but we all spoke about them with love and fondness and laughter. My dad, who is still with us though, well he couldn't even be arsed to come. He didn't send anyone a Christmas card, a gift, he didn't even phone the kids to wish them a happy Christmas, and not a single fuck was given by any one of us.

 

I love my dad but he really doesn't deserve it, he'll die soon as a miserable horrible selfish lonely man, in much the same way as he lived most of his life.

Anybody else have to look up where Port Clarence is?

Your Dad sounds a right cunt but your Mum and Nan especially,were good'uns.

[No2]

1) I've a shit memory, as the 5th child I never got new bikes or computers, best gift I can remember is the home kit from 1990. Loved that, wore it as many days a week as my mam would allow.

 

2) Asked Santa for an Ireland jersey, got an Northern Ireland one.

 

3) I bought a scrimper last week to fix a broadband wire, didn't need it in the end so rather than change it I'm giving it to my nephew tomorrow, he's an apprentice sparks. Could well be the shittest pressie he gets.

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, John102 said:

Come again?

 

Youd what now?

Sorry I’ll rephrase it, I was shagging a finer filly from work 

[sir roger]

6 hours ago, John102 said:

1. A SNES. My mum made me open the stand for it first, which had a picture of a SNES on it. She made out that she thought that was a SNES and that this was my main present. That old chestnut.

 

 

When the mrs was 8 or 9 she was desperate for a watch for Xmas. When she opened her few presents and there was no watch she was gutted and couldn't be bothered to pull a cracker her dad kept going on about, but eventually did and out popped a timex watch, which proceeded to somersault its way onto the grate and smash itself into smithereens. 

[Red_or_Dead]

1. Optimus Prime, never got any of the big Star Wars toys, so that was a surprise.

 

2.  The Mrs bought me a hamster about ten years ago, I have no idea why. 

 

3.  I did buy my mum a bog brush one year.  In my defence, she did need one and I wasn't working.

 

 

[Mudface]

19 minutes ago, sir roger said:

 

When the mrs was 8 or 9 she was desperate for a watch for Xmas. When she opened her few presents and there was no watch she was gutted and couldn't be bothered to pull a cracker her dad kept going on about, but eventually did and out popped a timex watch, which proceeded to somersault its way onto the grate and smash itself into smithereens. 

 

The modern equivalent. She could have been a minor internet sensation and got sponsored by a shonky case firm.