January Transfer Window 2015

[Furmedge]

Fuck it, I'll say it.  Torres on a free if we can't get anyone else*.  We've got nothing to lose on the deal, give him a 6 month contract with the option of a further year.  Play him from the bench to replace Sturridge when he needs a breather.  Neg away, I still think it's a win-win from both sides. 

 

*I'd much rather we buy someone who can lead the line for the next 5 years but you ain't getting that this January.

[Russ Atmosphere]

Nah let's just get a pacy, intelligent, unjiggered striker that scores goals at a good rate in a good league for the last three seasons or so... and pay them what it takes.

[Tyler Durden]

I don't think Torres had got the hunger to play anymore so would be a waste of wages

[Paco]

torres?

[Gym Beglin]

Agree, I think Torres is holding out for an MLS or Saudi move.

 

Speaking of which, what's David Villa doing these days? Same boat as LAmpard, signed up to New York, so obviously there's a chance...

[etho]

I would take Torres on a free. He can't be shitter than what we have, can he? Also it would make me very excited to take him back and watch him score goals for us for free, after we got 50 million out of Chelsea for his shit twin brother

[Gym Beglin]

Moussa Sow - age 28

Lille - 54 (31 goals)

Fenerbahce - 81 (40 goals)

 

Emmanuel Emenike - age 27

Karabükspor 51 (54 goals)

Fenerbahçe 7 (8 goals)

Spartak Moscow 42 (45 goals)

Fenerbahçe 38 (46 goals)

 

Jonatan Soriano - age 29

Red Bull Salzberg 88 (79 goals)

 

Alexandre Lacazette - age 23

Last two seasons - Lyon 75 (37 goals)

 

Carlos Bacca - age 28

Club Brugges 45 (31 goals)

Seville 49 (24 goals)

 

Cheick Diabate - age 26

Bordeaux 85 (40 goals) in last two seasons.

 

Jackson Martinez - age 28

Porto 111 (77 goals)

 

Wilfried Bony - age 26

We should have bought him when he scored 83 goals in 148 games for Sparta Prague and Vitesse.

Now has 32 goals in 62 for Swansea.

Is apparently shit according to many knowledgeable posters.

 

Andrey Yarmolenko - age 25

In the last five years has scored 75 goals in 182 appearances for Dynamo Kiev.

 

Hulk - age 28

Scored 121 goals in 252 games for Porto and Zenit.

 

Memphis Depay - age 20

Very young but has stats to back it up already, just oozes quality and strength

For PSV in the last 18 months he has 29 goals in 58 games, and a bunch of assists.

 

Luc Castaignos - age 22

I remember when we were linked with this lad under Rafa, very young back then, still young now.

Last three seasons at Twente has yielded 40 goals in 93 games.

 

Seydou Doumbia - age 26

For Young Boys and CSKA Moscow he's scored 141 goals in 206 games. It's mental he's not in a top division.

 

Luiz Adriano - age 27

Has scored 121 goals in 249 games for Shakhtar Donetsk.

 

Mario Gomez - age 29

Was imperious at Bayern, and still young enough to make a mark in the PL.

118 goals in 199 games for Bayern and Fiorentina.

 

Notes:

Khouma Babacar - Fiorentina - age 20

Arkadiusz Milik - Leverkeusen (ajax loan) - age 20

I'm not sold on Kramaric as he plays for Rijeka (Exactly), and takes pens as well, which boosts that tally up.

I like the look of Icardi at Inter but he seems a massive unknown and would cost a lot.

Would love Higuain, not sure he'd come without CL football.

 

 

Other than that, this research I’ve undertaken over the last hour, no, there were no other options out there other than Balotelli for £16m.

[Jairzinho]

- We couldn't attract any of those players.

- None of those players are good enough.

- They were all playing for clubs where there is no pressure.

- They all want to move to London.

- If we'd signed any of those players you'd all have bemoaned the fact they weren't big names.

- Could they do it on a sleety Tuesday morning in Sunderland?

- This isn't Football Manager.

- Do you even lift?

[Boss]

Good post Funnneeeee but Soriano is not good enough for us. Gomez is past it and doesn't fit our style of play. Castaignos will be like Van Wolfwinkel for Norwich. Depay is a real talent and we should definately sign him. Sow is a no-no. Hulk's past it and the wages are crazy. 

 

Yarmolenko would be great as a right winger but it's basically impossible to get him to leave Kiev. Doumbia, Lacazette, Bony, Martinez would all be good for us, but some of them are more Balotelli in style of play than Sturridge.

[Gym Beglin]

What's our style of play again?

[Gym Beglin]

I'm being a little prick, but I've got a fucking point, it's really difficult to put our 'style' down on paper other than drawing a massive spunking cock and balls.

[cloggypop]

I'm being a little prick, but I've got a fucking point, it's really difficult to put our 'style' down on paper other than drawing a massive spunking cock and balls.

Not sure about the spunking bit.

[Red Banjo]

Would any of those manage to play more than 3 out of 25 games?

 

That's what Sturridge has managed this season, so if the answer is yes then we should sign any of them, and we'd automatically be better off.

[Grinch]

Torres.  Yeah lets sign a washed up non goalscoring forward cause he might be better than the shite options we're lumbered with.

 

Here's a idea...sign a forward capable of scoring regularly.  It's crazy but it might just improve us.

[cloggypop]

Cheaper to buy Kramaric than pay Torres his wage. Even if he cuts it in half.

 

Depay is not a striker by the way. He is more like a left winger forward sort of thing. He is scoring about a goal a game right now though.

[johnsusername]

Lambert

Torres

Borini

Balotelli

 

I didn't think we could get any worse than now, but there's the proof.

[Tyler Durden]

Torres.  Yeah lets sign a washed up non goalscoring forward cause he might be better than the shite options we're lumbered with.

 

Here's a idea...sign a forward capable of scoring regularly.  It's crazy but it might just improve us.

Your gonna get sectioned with that crazy talk

[JaminKibbler]

Emenike's stats are way way off, I think they're about half that of each club he's been at.

 

Doumbia, Odegaard and a GK would be a pleasing month

[Boss]

We've got nothing to lose by going for Kramaric, he'd be cheap with a huge potential up swing if he proves to be a success. Players like Dybala, Kramaric and Depay could all be great for us without warranting crazy fees. 

[RoboRiise]

I saw that story on the back page of the Mirror about Torres being available on loan for just his wages and nearly dropped my arse on the tram.  I'd love to tell myself we couldn't possibly be that stupid but based on recent evidence, it's actually exactly the level of stupidity that I would expect.

 

 

I would take Torres on a free. He can't be shitter than what we have, can he?

 

Yes. Yes he can.

[dennis tooth]

I'm being a little prick, but I've got a fucking point, it's really difficult to put our 'style' down on paper other than drawing a massive spunking cock and balls.

Which would be much more eloquent than your posts.

[dennis tooth]

I saw that story on the back page of the Mirror about Torres being available on loan for just his wages and nearly dropped my arse on the tram. I'd love to tell myself we couldn't possibly be that stupid but based on recent evidence, it's actually exactly the level of stupidity that I would expect.

Its actually less mad than splurging 16m on mario.

Why not go full retard again and offer a 5 year deal?

[Gym Beglin]

We've got nothing to lose by going for Kramaric, he'd be cheap with a huge potential up swing if he proves to be a success. Players like Dybala, Kramaric and Depay could all be great for us without warranting crazy fees.

I YT'd Kramaric, he doesn't look all that to me. Pens, close range finishes, all for a club that I've never heard of, in a country I'm slightly aware of.

[Josef Svejk]

I YT'd Kramaric, he doesn't look all that to me. Pens, close range finishes, all for a club that I've never heard of, in a country I'm slightly aware of.

 

Our last Croatian player was a God among men. So, I say go for it...

 

Rijeka's a nice enough city, by the way. Good food, too.

[RoboRiise]

Its actually less mad than splurging 16m on mario.

Why not go full retard again and offer a 5 year deal?

 

It would be less mad than the Mario deal with hindsight I agree; however I think that serves to highlight just how barking mad that deal was more than it recommends anything about bringing Torres back.

 

I've been thinking about this some more during the afternoon and I would honestly rather Brendan raided his butcher's bins for a pig's head, trotters, some lamb leg bones and a pile of assorted offal, spent a couple of evenings in his garage lashing them together into a crude simulacrum of a human figure, then used the cash we would spend on Torres's wages to fly Adebayor's mum over so that she could utilise her voodoo skills to animate the ghastly thing and imbue it with dark enchantments before playing it up front for the remainder of the season, than sign Torres.

 

Torres is the one deal we've done in recent times that was basically perfect; he was world class when we signed him yet someow we didn't end up paying a stupid fee for him, we got some great football out of him until he got broken, then somehow managed to get the biggest shower of cunts in the league to pay us over double what he cost us.

 

Since we sold him he's been woeful, his scoring rate for Chelsea was around 1 in 5 and he's scored 1 for Milan since the start of the season.  Do not want.

 

Worst of it is I loved the lad when he was here too, at least up to the point when he started moping around and then showed his cunt colours with the Chelsea transfer request.  It's tragic really what happened to him because at his best he he was mesmerising.