little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Could just use a dog poo bag. They're biodegradable.

[Poor Scouser T]

Is this not what showers are for?

I shit, wipe my arse with bog roll, then have a shower at some point. Like normal people.

I can cope with a dirty arse for a few hours at least.

Fuck carrying shitty wipes to the wheelie bin. My arse is miles away from my nose and hands. i can deal with it.

[Preston Red]

Sainsbury's used to do a bog roll spritz(!). I got some around the tail end of last year. A few sprays on the bog roll and you have a wet wipe. I do end up using a few sheets wrapped up as I don't fancy a DIY prostate exam, but eliminates the use of baby/wet wipes.

 

If it's an extra mucky one then I jump in the shower and use my "arse sponge" to shift any stubborn shite. The sponge is known as the "Exfoliating Sponge of a Thousand Horrors" in our house, too.

[Bjornebye]

 

 

[Dave D]

1 hour ago, Champ said:

Colds and flu were much less prevalent during Covid restrictions but was that just because people weren’t mixing as much? I’m not sure that was the case now. And besides

colds and flu, like Covid, are airborne diseases and thrive in poorly ventilated places and that’s expensive to change.

The sanitiser is a cheap way of giving the impression they care about you.

 

For the avoidance of doubt, I always wash my hands after I’ve been to the loo and before and after preparing food

 These germs do live on surfaces- so when Doreen in Aldi flobs her guts up all over the front of her trolley the next person that uses it (likely to be within 5 mins of her putting it back) will get that on their hands- and so on.

 

   

[Poor Scouser T]

Happy to be exposed to all sorts of stuff. It's how we build immunity. Won't seek it out or touch nasty stuff but life is hard enough without cleaning fucking trolleys.

[Dave D]

Each to their own. Id take a clean trolley over a fucking minging one every day    

[Bjornebye]

What Dave's trolley see's 

 

 

 

[Captain Turdseye]

16 hours ago, John102 said:

When i buys spuds and get a bag full of big ones, to avoid the fiddly peeling of smaller ones, what really annoys me is when half of the spud is rotten, so i end up with a spud that's half the size i was expecting and then have to do twice the peeling.

I got this bad boy out of a bag the other day. 
 

 

[Captain Turdseye]

1 hour ago, Preston Red said:

Sainsbury's used to do a bog roll spritz(!). I got some around the tail end of last year. A few sprays on the bog roll and you have a wet wipe. I do end up using a few sheets wrapped up as I don't fancy a DIY prostate exam, but eliminates the use of baby/wet wipes.

 

If it's an extra mucky one then I jump in the shower and use my "arse sponge" to shift any stubborn shite. The sponge is known as the "Exfoliating Sponge of a Thousand Horrors" in our house, too.

I’ve got this stuff and always have the flushable wipes. My missus makes sure I look after my arsehole. 

[Bjornebye]

8 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I got this bad boy out of a bag the other day. 
 

 

 

No prizes for guessing where that went right away 

[Preston Red]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I’ve got this stuff and always have the flushable wipes. My missus makes sure I look after my arsehole. 

 

I swear by leaving my house with a clean arsehole or taking steps to make sure my leather doughnut is wiped properly. There's nothing worse than being stuck somewhere with a scruffy bastard who smells of arse.

[Poor Scouser T]

If I was to get a shower or wet wipe my arse every time i got a sweat on it would be 3 or 4 times a day. Not practical.

Sometimes you are minging. It happens.

I get a shower after the gym. Probably shit 2 or 3 times after but put up with it till next gym/shower. If I have a horror i'll take steps. If I'm meeting someone likewise. Sweaty arse and smelly nob is normal. I'm not going to explode. I'm not a fucking celeb or influencer. Who cares. The paps are not at my door waiting. If I smell an arse whiff Im straight for a shower, otherwise who gives a fuck.

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Poor Scouser T said:

Sweaty arse and smelly nob is normal. I'm not going to explode. I'm not a fucking celeb or influencer. Who cares. The paps are not at my door waiting. If I smell an arse whiff Im straight for a shower, otherwise who gives a fuck.

 

 

Gold. 

[Poor Scouser T]

5 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

 

 

Gold. 

Who you trying to impress/win over? Its not like being stig of the fucking dump. Its normal. Bit sweaty, need a wash ok but you will not die. Those who come into contact with you will not ever forgive you. You are active, a man get over it. 20 odd hours will not be the end of you. I'm not showering 3 times a day or carrying wet wipes to the wheelie bin. Fuck that.

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Poor Scouser T said:

Who you trying to impress/win over? Its not like being stig of the fucking dump. Its normal. Bit sweaty, need a wash ok but you will not die. Those who come into contact with you will not ever forgive you. You are active, a man get over it. 20 odd hours will not be the end of you. I'm not showering 3 times a day or carrying wet wipes to the wheelie bin. Fuck that.

 

I'm not trying to impress or win over anyone. I just like to give my arse a good wipe after I've had a shit. But that's just me. 

[Preston Red]

2 minutes ago, Poor Scouser T said:

Who you trying to impress/win over? Its not like being stig of the fucking dump. Its normal. Bit sweaty, need a wash ok but you will not die. Those who come into contact with you will not ever forgive you. You are active, a man get over it. 20 odd hours will not be the end of you. I'm not showering 3 times a day or carrying wet wipes to the wheelie bin. Fuck that.

 

Generally speaking, I like to leave my house knowing I'm clean but if I'm out and I have to park my breakfast then I can deal with having to use what's available to me. The bog roll spritz gets used at work and before I go to the gym if I've had a mucky one but a trip to the supermarket or anywhere not so relevant I can deal with wiping until the bog roll appears clean. Having a hairy arse, however, does mean there's a high chance of shit flakes even if there's none on the paper. 

[Elite]

Ball sweat is by far the most annoying thing. I bought some of that Fresh Balls which helps.

[Poor Scouser T]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

 

I'm not trying to impress or win over anyone. I just like to give my arse a good wipe after I've had a shit. But that's just me. 

Me too. But I'm not devoted enough to the cause to be carrying shitty wet wipes around the place. Have a shit, wipe my arse with bog roll and shower regular. Sometimes a bit more attention is necessary. So be it. Not top of my priority list. Not 'Gold'

[John102]

My wife is always on my case to stop flushing the baby's wipes down the toilet. In my defense, i dont want to be doing the fatberg man out of a job, so cant with good conscience start putting them in the neighbors wheelie bins. 

[Mook]

27 minutes ago, Poor Scouser T said:

Sweaty arse and smelly nob is normal.

 

 

 

[Poor Scouser T]

2 minutes ago, John102 said:

My wife is always on my case to stop flushing the baby's wipes down the toilet. In my defense, i dont want to be doing the fatberg man out of a job, so cant with good conscience start putting them in the neighbors wheelie bins. 

I got shit on here somewhere, cant remember where, for some environmental discretion.

They were correct. But you do realise that those wet wipes just get pushed into a river somewhere and kill a penguin.

[Poor Scouser T]

1 minute ago, Mook said:

 

 

 

Is it not? I had a shower this morning after the gym. Walked a bit since and been on the bike. Think I probably have sweaty balls. I'll survive till the morning.

If you sit on your arse all day fair enough.

[Mook]

15 minutes ago, Poor Scouser T said:

Is it not? I had a shower this morning after the gym. Walked a bit since and been on the bike. Think I probably have sweaty balls. I'll survive till the morning.

If you sit on your arse all day fair enough.

 

Sweaty balls are normal, yes.

 

A smelly nob is most definitely not.

[Poor Scouser T]

1 minute ago, Mook said:

 

Sweaty balls are normal, yes.

 

A smelly nob is most definitely not.

Spose it depends on wanking strategy. 3 or 4 a day then a smelly nob is par.

1 or 2 are rookie numbers.